Near-Birth Experience

 This just happened tonight. I heard a woman moaning loudly outside our gate. I went out to investigate and there was a poor country woman sitting on the ground leaning against a tree. She was holding her big belly and groaning. Her little naked son was sitting nearby watching her. I thought "She's going to have that baby any second" and flagged down a passing tuk-tuk (a cart pulled by a motorbike) to take us to a hospital.

The driver, taking one look at the state of the woman and not wanting to mess up his clean seats, refused to take her. I looked at him closely and said "I know your face and I know your tuk-tuk number. If you don't take us, my friends and I will never use your tuk-tuk again." He relented and we all got in and drove to the nearest clinic.

The clinic refused to accept her. They didn't have birthing facilities. They advised us to take her to the newly built hospital. This wasn't a good plan because a) it was too far and b) it didn't have any equipment yet. (If you get sick, they advise foreigners to get airlifted out to another country)

By now the woman was mooing like a cow. I wasn't able to coach her in deep breathing because a) I don't speak the local language and b) she was a deaf. So there I was, huffing and puffing and all I was doing was hyperventilating myself. She was looking at me with wide eyes like I had lost my mind.

We went to another place, then another. I was sure I would have to catch the baby in my hands, when we finally arrived at a clinic which would take her. There was no timing her contractions. She was wailing like a siren by then.

We got her in the clinic, onto a gurney. A doctor rushed to her side and held up fingers to ask how many months she was, but she shook her head. He pointed to her toddler and then to her belly but she only shook her head again. He gestured "Throwing up?" She nodded "Yes."

After a couple pokes at her belly, he went into an office, came out with a syringe and gave her a shot. He stood looking at her while I stroked her brow . "Shouldn't you be taking her to the delivery room?" I asked. "No" he said. "Isn't she having a baby?" I asked.

"No, she's having food poisoning."

In minutes, right before our eyes, her stomach deflated and she sat up and gave us a wide grin.