Both my parents spanked me as a kid but when I reached puberty mom left dad deal with me most of times. At first it was a change for the better becuase at that age I began to feel very humilliated being spanked on bare by her. But soon I regretted that change of ways. When I found out the meaning of an attitude adjustment. In my case mom kept all my little missteps inside and some fateful day she burst out. I recall it happened mostly on weekends before bedtime. As whole family was watching tv she began to tell dad about all the times I had been disrepectful or backtalked her or just I was forgetting my manners. I began to get very uneasy but I learnt not to argue with her. But I was there in silence as my list of crimes grew up by the minute. Dad always asked her for some specific fact that will earned me a whipping but she just kept saying A bad attitude all the week. I hated her at those moments because she had not given a clue past days that I was a bother to her. I dont say she was lying but those things were very little cause for a spanking and most of them I did not even remember. If she had warned me at the right time I would have straight up my act for sure. Finally my dad had enough of that and he stood up as he told me Come with me.
A few times as we were leaving our tv room she said something like Please Dear make this time the last I have to go through a week like this!
It always meant Dad stopped by the hall closet to fetch his strap in our way to my bedroom. So it was going to be way worse than the slippering I expected at the start of their discussion.

The relationship with my mother got sour since those episodes began to occur. So we came into a kind of a vicious circle. The more she reported me the less I complied nicely with her orders. You know, teenage hormones are hard to tame.
I have to say my mom confessed me years later that she was too strict with me in my early teens. I took it as a faint apology for those times so I appreciated her gesture. We had and still have very different character treats. I guess she misunderstood my emerging own personality as defiance or disrespect towards her strong opinions and beliefs. And maybe she tried to change my own self through discipline. It did not work of course.
rcarlos72 rcarlos72
41-45, M
2 Responses Aug 21, 2014

As a boy grown only by my mother, I always was envy of my mates who had a father to punish them properly when they deserved. After my Grandpa's death, my mother was she who had to discipline me. Usually, she was severe and used a slipper, but tired often. Only for big mistaken she used the belt, several times on my bare bottom. Maybe it will seem strange for some: as a teenager, I did not feel embarrassed lowering my pants, but rather ashamed for obliging my mother to give me the belt. Therefore I wanted to pay for my faults by a greater pain.

Thank you for another reflective account of your teenage punishments. It did not happen often, but there were times too when my mother rehearsed my shortcomings for my father, with a similar consequence to the one you imply, though with a cane, rather than a strap. Like you, I wished she had said something earlier rather let her frustration accumulate. After all, she was not slow to punish me herself for other things: why not for these as well? Like you, I was less inclined to be obedient to her as a consequence. I was who I was, and I was not going to make myself what she and my father wanted me to be just because I got spanked for my non-compliance. Parent-child relationships can be very complex, and it is not just children or teens who do not always understand this.

Thank you for your understanding. Did you try ever to talk your dad out of it? I always failed. I hated it because his main reason to carry on the punishment was Your mother wants this. It made me even more upset with her than with him.

I never tried to talk my father out of it. I knew it would not work, and for the reason you mention, that when it came to choosing between his wife and me, he always chose his wife. If he ever heard me speaking disrespectfully to her, or came across me disobeying her, the punishment was immediate, prolonged and very painful.