Always In My Mind...

My twin killed himself when we were 11 right in front of me with a gun. It was completely my parents fault! They were so abusive he couldn't take it and now he's gone and it'll be something that stays in my mind for life.

deleted deleted
2 Responses Feb 23, 2010

i am very very sorry for your loss and your pain! you are very brave to share with the world about this. there is an ex<x>pression 'a pain shared is a pain halves' well there may be a pinch of truth to it.<br />
i cann not comprehend your pain in this regard, but i do want to let you know that all people have suffered different kinds of pain, most of us have been suicidal , most of us have felt like nothing , it is very human.<br />
i agree with sse regarding the healing that can take place or at least some moment of contentment when you can help others because of your pain. also if you are able to find someone to speak with like a counellor who can help you with your grief and the other emotions associated with loss,it is important. <br />
it is important when we loose someone very dear,that in time we begin to get back into life, it can take years and we are never the same of course, but you are alive and i am sure there is joy for you in this universe. <br />
<br />
i wish you only the best, PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF!<br />

sounds to me like the begginning of a passion. Maybe you should try to find a way to help victims of abuse or volunteer at a suicide line. Often the best way to battle a tragedy that causes you recurrent pain is to use that pain to combat the source of it.<br />
Im sorry to know that you witnessed such a painful death, but if you use that pain to help others like your twin, you ultimately end up helping yourself. Everybody wins, and you keep the memory of your brother alive in a positive light.<br />