So I had this dream two nights ago. and it kinda combined two things in my life. So it started where I was standing on one if those over pass bridges over a really busy freeway, looking down, tears streaming down my face, suicide on my mind. I remember making my last phone call, shaking, and somehow I got my cuddle buddy's number even though he doesn't have a phone. The dream was so vivid like, the phone rang once then he picked up in kind of a monotone voice almost like he was half asleep and just "hello". And then my voice cracking and me hardly breathing I answered, "Hi." And then they're was a sense of urgency in his voice like "are you okay, what's wrong?" And i answered and it was so hard to speak clearly I remember. "No, I'm not alright." Then I took a deep breath and a long pause "I'm calling to say goodbye" then he was even more urgent and answered "No, Sami, you can't leave me, you're not leaving me" and my voice was cracking and I was sobbing and I just go "I'm so sorry" and then he started getting even more urgent, almost anxious and he goes "No, Sami, where are you, wait 15 minutes I'll be there." So I set my timer on my phone and cry into the phone "please hurry." And then he hung up and I sat on the curb, my back to the wall and started sobbing. Cause it was he dream, he got there right away in his bike and he just jumped off and helped me off the ground. And I just grab him and start sobbing a gross awful sobbing but I was so completely comfortable with this and I'm never comfortable crying in front of someone. So I'm sobbing and he goes "How'd you get there" and I go "I walked from my grandmas" cause I live on the other side of town. And he goes "here, let's take you back there" and for some reason I scream "No. Please don't take me back. Don't leave me alone" and then I just start begging him to take me with him and finally he calms me down, puts one arm around me and kisses the top of my head and then walks me over to his bike and we start walking to his house. And that's where it ends.
samigrace samigrace
16-17, F
Aug 17, 2014