Quitting The Married Men Habit

It's not a big deal. I can quit any time. Really!

I actually picked up the habit 'cause it seemed hip at the time. You know -- all the "in" girls had one. A married guy!  I'd heard the stories about the rush, the power trip, the wild infatuation and torrid overnight sex-romps.  Hell, they wrote books about it!   
  • I WILL do it in the rain!  I would do it on a train! 
  • In a car, at a bar  (how's my self-esteem so far?). 
  • It's not like the guy is mega cheap -- or that I'm not worth it (wow, that's deep!) 
  • I dig that crazy spontenaiety!  Don't call it tawdry and harsh my gaeity!
*I* wanted a scarlet letter too! Red hot's my color!  And that Hester Prynne was "dope, yo!" Wouldn't ya know -- my name even starts with an "A" -- so that was, like, EXTRA cool!

It helped that married men shared that sexy "mutual destruction" mantle - you know, that "you screw up MY life, and I'll be abso-f'ing-lutely sure to destroy YOURS! Then there's the oh-so-magical disappearing act mystique. YOU know what I mean --  "Like, OMG! He was all up IN my stuff last week, and now I haven't heard a peep! Where'd he go??" Ohhhh . . . family vacation. Work. Kids. Kangaroo infestation in his back yard. Uh huh. I get it.

Hell, having serial affairs with married men was an ADVENTURE! Remember the joy of playing "condom hide & seek?" Did he bring one?? How about the -- "We're in love, aren't we? He won't hurt me! Mightn't it be safe to try it just ONCE without? Of course even THAT thrill ride is topped by the "How am I gonna ask my gynecologist for HIV & STD testing and make it seem real "chill" after a couple of decades of marriage?" Yeah . . . I'm a bad ***. *rapper pose* I GOTS it like dat!

All in all, I must say -- there's nothing quite like having affairs with married men! The REAL fun starts when some boring stiff you only did ONCE during a lapse in judgment 'cause he'd begged for so long, confesses an "affair" with you to his crazy-harpy wife, who then begins a campaign of speed-dialing your home phone, asking to speak with your husband, and threatening to "out" you.  Baby, you are "livin la vida loca" when your kid picks up that phone!

Soooo . . . 10 years of marriage, you get the guy, the house, kids & a title.  10 years of affairs you get, well, nothing.  But who really needs all that baggage anyway?   I mean -- surely the love, self-respect, & intimacy you've been craving are TOTALLY resolved by . . . second fiddle sex!! Yayyy! Yep. This is the life. This is what EVERY woman wants. Isn't it?

Pshaww!! It's not a big deal. I can quit any time.


Colormevibrant Colormevibrant
46-50, F
10 Responses Jul 27, 2010

How very poetic and so very adventurous!
Intelligent and sexy! What a great combination. If I could read minds I would spend quite a while in yours. LOL

You flatterer you! I'll bet you're a married man. ;-)

I am indeed. Married to my best friend.
Still love to flirt too!

@Color, that's great, though too bad for me. But I love hearing about you with younger men. :) I will watch from afar. And glad to know you kicked the habit.

tallman *grin* you're out of luck. It appears I've kicked the habit! Been snared by a new drug: the younger, single man! ;-)

It is an addiction, isn't it. I loved your writing about that. You have a wonderful sense of humor. And of course I'm a married guy. :)

You are Funny as Sh*t ! And you share from the Heart -- I'm wit ya Been there, done all of that .... haha<br />
<br />
I'm ducking my stick like the plague -- but it's fun to watch him sneaking around, ringing that bell off the hook - knowing I'm in here ignoring him .... cause he can't call -- hahaaa<br />
<br />
Ain't love Grand !!

Quite a wit....wonderfully written

Ditto. Appreciation.

*blushing* Ummm . . . thanks, I guess. Must've been feeling a little cynical when the writing bug hit. I do appreciate your comments. If you've enjoyed this, related, or think it may have value for others, please rate up. It would be nice to save someone else the heartache.

One of the more interesting, amusing, sad, well written things I have read in a long time!!! Great story!!

strong piece of writing. brilliant!