Memory Of The Summer

Dear W.C.,

As I said before, I don’t hate you or get angry at you; it is more of your illness and my worries that made us apart. You have a tendency to overdo things and I have the tendency to worry about things, especially illness as I said before I have no control over it.

I thank you for what you brought into my life in the summer and it was a wonderful time to communicate and being with you on a couple of occasions. Being the time with you made me feel that I was a real, precious, and sexual woman again as I missed her so much...

I am grieving for my sensual self and the short love we had in the summer and I do believe there was some level of love between us, even though it was so short and brief, but beautiful.

Here is something for you to remember this relationship.

Love the way you hug me in your arms,
Love the ways you write to me,
As if you were just next to me and talk with me.
Being with you is like getting up the right side of the bed.
Reading your mails is like you were there for me.
Love the way you are patient with me and with my complaints,
Love the way you are transparent telling me what happens in your life
Because I can’t see you or touch you for days.
However, our emails have been so intermittent and sporadic recently,
Because of your progressive illness.

I did not know I was not supposed to complain,
Or hope to see you or express wanting to meet with you,
Which was interpreted into forcing you to leave your partner,
That has never been on my wish list.

Now I have to make a decision for both of us,
Whether we should continue this relationship,
It is hard and impossible, but I am facing it.
Because you want me to.
My heart is sunk and my tears are like pouring rain,
Like eye drops without a cap.

hotyogabk hotyogabk
51-55, F
1 Response Dec 4, 2012

I caught my husband at a Christmas party so drunk he couldn't stand - another woman was dancing with all of us - I went to the restroom, came back and they had kissed and who knows what was next. that was three days ago. I am so heart broken - I can barely breathe. I have been awake for three days because everytine I close my eyes I see her hand rubbing his arm. I am so lost and so broken and so surprised these feelings are so strong just because of a kiss - I can't - don't want to imagine what would happen to me if had been a whole summer.