My Reason

2 months ago I found out that i was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant. The way I found out was upsetting to me, so here it goes. I had a 2 day and 6 hour argument with my now ex-boyfriend about a job description. I ended up in the hospital for two days, because I had a seizure. the doctor took my blood work, and came back an hour later to let me know that I was pregnant. Its hard to explain it in full detail so instead I decided to give a poetic explanation of my reason for doing what i did. this poem was directed towards those who found out and labeled me as a murderer not understanding the full affect my decision had, and how at the time I felt like i had not choice.

My Reason:

Why I let you go they will never know because they haven’t lived it so they wouldn’t be open to understand the reason,
They assume the irrelevance of the matter but can’t open their hearts to understand the relevance,
I know I am most hated by those that know, and I am still trying to forgive myself,
I am misunderstood because of my predicament, and how it affected my choice,
To be labeled a murderer before your soul even developed,
It’s not a choice I was prepared to make nor did I want to give you up,
Only my god knows my heart no man can judge me even though they are allowed their freedom of speech,
This is my tribute to you one day I will be given the chance to receive you again,
When it is time but right know it may sound a little selfish of me but I’m just not ready,
I am homeless with no money and an unstable roof that’s not even permanent to raise you in,
Your father is half crazy and abusive,
I wanted more for you than to bring you into that type of environment,
My love for you runs deep I see what could have been if you were here,
The hurt that I’m feeling is something I’m just going to have to deal with because I made that decision,
If no one can understand the actual reason behind my decision who cares,
I am only human we all have sins and some of us don’t like to own up to them,
I'm not saying that its right but its my life,
unless you've lived it you wouldn't know what to do in my situation,
making a hard decision in a complicated situation,
you have to be a strong women to make it, and even stronger to raise it.
Maryam24 Maryam24
22-25, F
3 Responses Jan 17, 2013

Unborn babies are much more then a complication and a decision , they are living humans and murder is taking the life of another human, face it and write your next poem with that in mind.

Try not to let others opinions make you feel guilt or suffer. You did what was best for YOU and sometimes not having the baby is also best for that baby. You are not a murderer or a bad person. Thank you very much for sharing your story.

Lovely story. You did what's best for you. You have my support. Good luck

Isn't that one of the main problems in todays society? People only doing what best for their self? Sad.