Abortion At 15 Weeks And Shocked.

From the start when i found out i was pregnant i was just thinking how did i let this happen? I never ever wanted to have an abortion. But not being able to give my baby the life i wanted it to have or having a stable environment for it...well i just couldn't let another baby come into this world not ready. I want to have a baby when i am 100% ready. I had a very hard life growing up and i am now 21 yrs. old and considering...i have done well for myself. My mom is a binge addict addicted to crack and my bf mom is in the military so we only see her about once a yr. maybe. When i have a baby i want it to be surrounded by grandmothers and the whole family and i want to be able to give my all to her or him. I know i will be a good mom someday but i just was not ready...financially...emotionally...or physically. Im torn between what is right and wrong in my eyes. I feel as if i did the best thing bc he or she would not be brought into this world with security. But i also feel hate towards what i have done bc when i got my sonogram and she told me i was 15 weeks i was in shock. I looked online to see what the baby looks like and by then he or she is about 4 inches and their is even an umbilical cord and it just broke my heart bc i killed an innocent baby inside me...this beautiful baby that my bf and i made. Its going to take some time to fully get over and come to peace with what ive done but i am making a promise to myself that when the day comes when i hopefully get pregnant again that i will be the best mom a baby could have and from this point on my life is going to change for the better and i will be ready for when it happens.

As for the experience...it is something that nobody could ever ever understand unless they go through it. From signing all the paper work to the sonogram the staff was very nice. I was calm and felt comfortable. But as soon as i walked into that room where they had to do the procedure my heart was racing. I could not believe what was about to happen.  The male doctor came in with 2 nurses and it was like they were all touching me while hes asking me questions and i felt so overwhelmed. What really messed my head up emotionally was he asked in a tone i cant really describe..."why did you wait until so far into the pregnancy?"....i said "bc i didnt know until a few days ago i was even pregnant. He just made me feel even worse and from that point i was just so distraught. I had an IV sedation which i was told would make me drowsy but the last thing i remember is him asking if it burned and i said yes and i went to sleep. The next thing i remember is sitting in a a reclining chair crying my eyes out bc i could not remember anything after that. Which is good in a way bc i didnt feel the procedure. But then my bf came around back and we left and he was so worried why i was crying and i said bc it put me to sleep and before going to sleep i was just feeling sooo bad bc of how the doctor talked to me. When i got home i fell asleep for a few hours then had to wake up to take my antibiotics and pain medication with food. Although i didnt want to eat i had to. I feel like i did the most unnatural thing bc  being pregnant is supposed to be this great thing but when your not ready...its just a lot of guilt and sadness. Im writing so much bc i just need to get it all out. I really have no one to talk to about it that understands. 

I really feel like a different person. In a good way and bad way. Good way bc im going to try hard to make my life what it should be and so when i get pregnant i can celebrate and be happy. But in a bad way bc i feel horrible for what ive done and i dont know how long it will take to actually feel like i deserve good things. 

Also, i had this done june 5th on saturday...and let me tell you i could not believe the amount of women in there. Just all these women who arent ready and had to go through this. Some didnt even seem nervous or anything like theyve done it before but one girl seemed more nervous then me. She looked young and i felt for her.  Its sad to think that this has to be done but if youre not ready for it...it has to i guess. I just dont ever want to go through it again. Its too stressful and painful emotionally.  But it also takes a strong woman to do it bc i know soooo many girls that got pregnant in highschool that now have 2 or 3 kids and i can see that from the beginning they dont have the life they deserve filled with happiness and security. In school it seemed more like a trend and the cool thing to do...but the fathers left them and their mothers were stuck taking care of their babies. Ive seen it time and time again.

I know i will be a great mom someday and that baby will be so blessed. Thanks for reading. 
timeheals1107 timeheals1107
26-30, F
37 Responses Jun 6, 2010

Ok. Firstly, to all the self righteous ******** making judgemental comments, maybe you didn't notice, but she's a HUMAN BEINGand humans make MISTAKES! Second, I dare you to tell me you've never done anything you shouldn't have. She has to answer for what she did whether or not that she regrets it. ****. None of us. But you'll answer for playing God and judging her! I've never had an abortion, never came remotely vlose to wanting one either. So no I'm not defending abortion at all. I'm a Jesus freak. But I know my place and maybe y'all supreme court judges oughtta read John 13:34. Love one another! Stay in your places people! God is the ULTIMATE &ONE TRUE JUDGE! And no one in this world is without sin. NOT EVEN ME

Hi Timeheals

I had my child at 16 not once do I regret having my son!!! My family didn't even pressure me into having an abortion. Now I'm 23 working at a hospital and my son has everything he will ever need. I don't know why dumb *** people have sex and don't ever use protection. You know what is going to end up happening if you spread your legs. I knew what I was doing but my mother did have me on birth control. Why would you want to kill a life that GOD blessed you with. Maybe you should of been the one aborted!!!!

So your saying, abortion is wrong. Btw, you should have been aborted.
Are you seriously this ******* retarded? Not everyone has the support you did and most women who aborted were forced to do it. Keep your damn comments to pains you actually had to endure *******.

Who died and made YOU Jesus Christ? Comment flagged for hate. This is utter bullshit.While were discussing gGod, let's discuss pride. Its one of the seven deadly sins. Let's discuss the love of Christ, and how your asinine foolishness here is direct disobedience to God's command in John 13:44. Let's discuss your lack of perfection. Let's discuss that premarital sex is a sin, but obviously you committed that one. The let's have you **** off.

Your God is no God to me. As in sure he isn't for a lot of other people as well. So go spread that **** else where. You're not in her shoes, you are unable to understand and have ZERO right to say ANYTHING. So go cry and choke on your bible bullshit.

What the hell is wrong with you, you bible thumper.

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Has no one ever heard of adoption?? There are millions of woman out there that cant have babies and to murder a precious gift God entrusted you with? There are no words just pain in my soul to think that people think this is ok because its not convenient for you, that baby couldve had two adopted parents loving and caring for them right now, but you decide to end her or his life. At 15 weeks and 20 weeks that baby has hair, nails, sucks their thumb in your womb. Dont tell me they cant feel the pain of an abortion before they die. I am 14 weeks tomorow and having a little girl. I am so excited and happy, although I dont feel ready (I dont think anyone ever feels really ready) abortion is the last thing on my mind. I could never live with myself, I feel her kicking inside of me already. No pregnancy is a mistake, otherwise it would not have happened because God doesnt make mistakes. I hope with all of my heart that woman and young girls would look at other alternatives instead of ending an innocent little babies life.

All of you who have the audacity to be cruel and completely inhuman to this brave woman who is sharing her story of struggle and pain in order to heal - are the ONLY sickening thing here.
Your hate is disgusting, ignorant and only shows that YOU are the monsters- you have no idea what it's like to be her, she will be able to help women heal with her honesty and bravery. All's you will ever be able to do is be miserable, judgemental disgusting excuses for human beings.

To the woman who wrote this story: thank you, for your bravery, honesty and you will be a wonderful mother one day- and yes you DO deserve to have the beautiful child god intended for you to have one day when the time is right. Share your story with other woman in pain or doubt in order to facilitate healing and continue to spread unconditional love for one another which we ALL should be doing rather than judging and saying hateful things to one another.

The people who have said hateful things are spineless cowards anyways because they probaby go around bullying people hiding behind the computer to make themselves feel better about their miserable lives.

Bless you and thank you!

Question, why doesn't you or anyone else address the question of adoption as a viable option? If you really dont have the funds to raise a child why not let the baby live and be adopted by a good family that could raise and take care of him?

I was adopted by a "good family". My adoptive father is now a ********* and murderer in Victorville federal penitentiary.That's how safe adoption really is. I'm against abortion but as Jesus Christ said "He whom is without sin, cast the first stone"

Thank you! That's my point too. I'm disgusted and angered by the hate being shown here!

I just think your an awful person. Killing a baby cause it isn't convient for you.. Get on birth control or close your legs

I think you're an ******* and a bully. Tell me you've done no wrong. I dare you. I'm anti abortion myself, but she's a human and we as humans have a proclivity for making stupid decisions!

Add a response...

You are a disgusting selfish human being and u don't deserve another pregnancy!

Did I seriously just read someone mention how excited they were knowing their husband wanted them to have an abortion! You people are sick!!! At 15 weeks, you have an actual baby inside you!!!! What you have comitted is murder, I hope someone sees you as an inconvenience and decides to just end your life. You sick, twisted murderer..,, and you have the cheek to add smiley faces to your comments. Vile human being

She's excited BUT her husband wants an abortion. Christ Almighty! Learn to read. The but means, she isn't happy about that. Like, I love my mom, but she annoys me. Literacy 101. No ****, Sherlock

Keep spreading your hate. See how far that gets you in life.

You should be ashamed of yourself killing your baby your a monster

I agree

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I am 15 weeks pregnant and I am so excited but my husband wants me to have a abortion, know one knows but him and my mother my mother has 5 children and of course she wants me to keep it. I have a 6 year old daughter and he has 3 children from a previous relationship with a woman who could give a crap about her children, he dont want the baby because where having a hard time with money and we dont have the room. I want another baby and I planned to get my tubes tide after I had this one. I was on birth control but I think I got pregnant when I was on antibiotics for a kidney infection, I didnt want to get pregnant right now but it happened and I look at it like if it happens you deal with it and yes it may be a struggle but you do what you have to, I dont believe in abortion but that is everyones choice but it would never be mine, this is really hard on me right now its not like I got raped or got pregnant by a man I had a one night stand with, its my husband and I would love for my daughter to have a brother or sister and she would be so excited, my little sister just had her second baby boy and my daughter loves to play mommy with him, and my 17 year old sister is 7 months pregnant, the they are having there babies and happy about it and here I am almost 30 and married and I feel like I cant be happy about it or be excited or tell everyone because my husband dont want it, he asked me to call the abortion clinic and make a appointment but I just cant do it. Do I listen to him or do I listen to myself and do what I think is right, I know if I keep it that could be the end of my relationship and it kills me, he is my bestfriend and I love him more then anything I just dont know how he could put me through this maybe hes not the man I thought he was, and on the other hand I think if I was in his shoes he may be thinking how could she be putting me through this. This baby was made in love and I didnt do it by myself and the best choice for me is to keep it even If it ends my marriage I can do it on my own, if you want something you will find a way to make it work. And for every woman out there who is struggling with there decision I wish you all well and you do what you think is right for you not for someone else. Im hoping my husband will come around because if he some how talked me in to this I would hate him forever! Thank you all for listening

I'm only 16. I'm terrified and confused, I never thought this could happen. I can't support a child and I don't want to put it on my family members- not because it'd be a burden but because I love children, I love babies especially and I'm in contact with them daily...and when I am able to support my baby I want to do so, and be happy and watch him or her grow up happy and not confused. I'm 15 weeks pregnant, and a day before today I didn't even know I was.. No signs came, not one. I've lost weight overall in the last 4 months. I can't bring an innocent baby into this world. The father of the child is in jail. Yes, jail, not juvie. And he has been in it before along with juvenile prison. His latest charge is assault on his ex girlfriend. I never once believed those stories until I looked them up 3 months ago, and since then I've banned him from my life. I'm enrolled in both high school and college, both part time in a program. I can't bring myself to tell anyone besides my mom. I went to the gynecologist originally to check my ovaries because of the odd pain and sharp pulls all over my stomach, and this is what I left with. I want an abortion because a child needs both his parents in my mind.. at different points in my life both of my parents were gone and I felt this huge void of apathy because I was so upset. I can't even move out on my own yet.. If this is rambling I apologize, but this is the first site I have found that didn't throw it in my face how babies feel it. The ultrasound pictures I received today make me not want to live myself..

I know it's hard it's probably one of the hardest things to do but all I can tell you is it's been about 3 yrs since for me and I couldn't imagine having a toddler right now !! All you can do is what's right for you.. You'll feel guilty enough for It dont listen to any negativity. Things happen and time heals. Just focus on the happy things in life and making a good life so one day you can bring a child into this world and be ready for it. Im 25 and I'm still not ready... I refuse to be one these girls who has kids and isn't ready. I knew I had to so I did.

Thank you so much. This experience was one of the worst, and your reply to my story has helped me keep my head held high so I wouldn't drown. It has been my motivation to go through with my decision, because I know that I am not ready and I know that there is at least one other woman out there that can understand. Again, thank you so much..

I had an abortion at 20 weeks three days ago. I regret it so much- I want my baby girl back. I cry and write letters to her every night. It was a two day experience- the first day they put laminaria in me to expand and open my cervix the first day. I asked the doctor if the baby could feel anything before she put laminar inside of me...she said that no they can not feel until 29 weeks.... I went home and immediately felt this strong remorse, pain, emptiness....I started searching all over the internet for how to reverse an abortion. I found that a Catholic hospital in Chicago actually reverses late-term abortions and felt this great hope. I knew that there would be a greater chance of miscarriage if I decided to have the laminaria pulled out and carry to term.... but I figured a chance at life was better than nothing. I called and called the Catholic hospital to no avail... I found on the internet that you can probably only get laminaria removed from an abortionist or the Catholic hospital so I waited to go back to the clinic the next day. Immediately I went in and asked if I could have the laminaria removed...I was told it was too late, the doctor snipped my babies umbilical cord yesterday. She was already gone. I had had so much hope. I was in a desperate position in life- I conceived this baby with a man who hit me, held a screw driver to my face, bribed me, called me 300 times a day, threatened me, isolated me, did everything he could to hurt me....I took out my frustrations with him on our baby. I thought by getting rid of her I could get rid of him and save myself from him...but I was so, so wrong. She would have been my light in the darkness. All my life I've wanted to fall in love and I now realize I could have fallen in love with my daughter. I could have gotten help. I could have raised my baby with my parents and we could have had a great life. She would have been my best friend. She was worthy of life and I feel as if I ruined God's plan...she was who was sent to save me and be my beautiful thing out of a bad situation...now I will look back on this year and see nothing but pain. I am heartless, a murderer. I want to know where my baby is. I deserve to be torn up into pieces and thrown into the trash like she was. Just for doing that to her. She was innocent. I would do anything to have her back. Now all I want just two days after an abortion is another baby, but it will never bring my first baby back...... nothing I can do can ever right that wrong. My mother and the nurses kept telling me "don't worry, your life will be fine...it'll get better you'll have other children." It might get better for me, but I know it will never get better for my daughter. Is she in Heaven sad that her mommy didn't want her....is she a ghost in purgatory trapped in the walls of the horrific place that is the abortion clinic? Did God piece her back together or is her soul mangled like her perfectly formed tiny body? If you are thinking of abortion, please, please, please realize that there are other options....don't be so foolish as me. I feel like a little piece of my soul has been ripped out, there is a black hole in my heart. I am the mother to a dead baby and I hate myself for what I let those doctors do to her..........I see her everywhere now.... carmel skinned with big,curly hair...I took her first smile, first steps, first cry....everything. And I was supposed to be strong, her mother, her protector...... Two girls lost to the cycle of abuse, and one at the hands of my own. How will I ever forgive myself?

20 weeks wow your another sick person child baby killer . Your not sorry your just a sick nut job

I cant condone what you did but God does heal and you need to heal yourself by forgiving yourself. Your baby girl is now a little angel in heaven and maybe you need to live your life now in a way that makes her proud that you were her mom. xx

I am twenty eight years old. I got pregnant with my third child in 2009. I had just got out of prison and not in a stable environment. My boyfriend and I was only together for a few months. I was scared to tell my family because I thought they would be disappointed. I waited a little while to tell my mother. My mother is racist and my boyfriend was black so automatically she flipped. She told me I had to kill it because she would never be able to look at it and it would ruin our relationship. I was horrified at the thought. I have always been against abortion and I couldn't go through adoption either. I decided to get the abortion. My mother's boyfriend agreed on the payment and travel expenses. I gotto the clinic and it was full of protesters. I was being called a murderer and baby killer. I broke down in tears before I even got in the door. I was so ashamed I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to go through that. What would God think about me? Will the baby hurt? I had so many thoughts running through my head. I felt forced into this decision. It was the most horrible experience of my life! I still cry myself asleep about it. I wonder what he/she would look like what would they be doing today.My heart aches so bad that I had killed my daughter/son. I hope this helps someone change their mind. Don't let anyone persuade your head into thinking it's right when your heart knows it's wrong.

I didn't think I could get pregnant especially after having 5+ miscarriages w/ my ex bf; then I realized he wasn't right for me and that my body was all stressed out and unable to support life at that time.

I started dating this guy and our first time was the Monday before Thanksgiving, I wasn't sure but I had a good feeling after thinking ab it for a week that what came out of me wasn't mine! I was upset and confused as I have always been PRO-life and I couldn't believe the thought of abortion crossed my mind!

For the next 2 months I continue to live my live, clubbing/partying it up, hoping the drugs would cause a miscarriage. Have stopped that and have been drinking alcohol more than expected this past month... all this in hope it would give up naturally, but nope... got what I deserved too... feel like complete crap (then and now).

So here I am...
15 weeks and 2 days since conception. I've been nothing but an emotional wreck and have yet to tell my dad, grandparents & lil sis (who which i live w/) or any of my other family for that matter. I have no friends to confide in either.

When I told the father he was really upset (as he had been doin alot of drugs too and was emotional) he said so many mean things to me and said he would take the child away from me and what not. I told him I wanted an abortion and he said if he found out i "murdered" his child that he would make me pay for it. It wasn't soon after he realized he wasn't ready for another kid as he already has a one year old. He gave me two choices, a) adoption or b) abortion.. as he didn't want me to come after him for child support.

Like I already haven't been fighting myself .

I'm getting bigger and bigger by the day... and I'm so not ready for the rest of the pregnancy or this abortion that scares the living lights out of me! I'm glad I came across this. I knew I wasn't alone but it really does help to read/talk ab it.

I attempted to set an appt for the clinic 2 weeks ago and when they called i never called back because I'm afraid...still afraid now but gonna have to go talk to them (at the least!) tomorrow if i find the strength to dial the f*n #!

Well, today, Monday February 11th makes me exactly 15 weeks.
I made my appointment last week for Thursday . . . Valentine's day. That's gonna suck.
What took me so long to make a decision...? Well I'm not sure at all. I'm 18 years old, still a freshman in college.

I haven't told my mom. She'd kill me.
My bf and I have been dating for almost 4 months. I love him and I know he loves me.
He doesn't express his feelings much but when we do talk about our situation he does make it known that he doesn't want either of us to drop out of college and how he's not ready to be a father. That's completely understandable. I'm not ready to be a mother.

Just how you felt, why settle for the bare minimum when I can give the baby all the things it'd ever want and need plus a little more.
I don't want to struggle.
I think I knew from the beginning I wanted to get an abortion because I knew I wasn't ready for this type of responsibility. But gosh. If I could keep him under better circumstances. . . I would.

The only problem I have with the abortion now is the procedure itself. I don't want my baby to be dismembered and its skull crushed. I don't want the chemicals they inject into his heart to burn him from the inside out. He's gonna feel all of that. I can't even imagine how that would feel.

Yes I keep calling it a him. I think it's a boy swimming around in there. :) I keep having dreams about a little baby boy and these dreams make me second guess myself but I know in the end this is all for the best.

Only other thing I'm worried about now is how we're gonna pay for this. Because we waited so long to decide this is gonna cost us anywhere from 600-800 dollars. We're both in college. Where in the world are we gonna get that kinda money from?
I keep calling the abortion funding place and no one ever answers. So we're basically on our own. I don't know what to do as far as money goes... I hope we find a solution soon though.
I appreciate you sharing your story. It gave me the desire to share mine. I feel maybe I just need some encouraging words. So if you have any or any ideas about how to fix our money problem... I'd be happy to hear you out.

Thank you all for your time.

Hi:) I know its so hard. People like to judge but not everyone gets pregnant bc they want to. I used b.c. and it happened. Wasn't ready,I had no family to help me....sometimes an abortion is something that has to happen even when in your heart you don't want to have to do it. Financially....my insurance covered it...I only paid for the pain killers and antibiotics. I would say keep calling or if your parents could help in anyway, I hate to say lie to them about borrowing the money. Maybe if you did tell your mom though she would be for you having the baby and offer help or maybe even help you with your decision. I know its scarey but if you think theres any chance of her helping id talk with her. My mom or anyone besides my bf doesn't know we had an abortion. I think about it alot...its been a couple years but ill never forget it. I'm so sorry you have to go through this but I know exactly how you feel.
Let me know if there's anything other questions etc.... :)

Question, why doesn't you or anyone else address the question of adoption as a viable option? If you really dont have the funds to raise a child why not let the baby live and be adopted by a good family that could raise and take care of him?

Try getting on birth control or keep your legs closed

Nikirdh24- how about you try keeping your mouth SHUT, these woman are helping and healing one another and that is beautiful. You on the other hand are a miserable, judgemental coward.

How about they put the baby first for a change instead of themselves and let the baby be adopted? People are so selfish these days

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To AdorLegg;
Hello, I admire you. when I found out i was pregnant at 8 weeks I cried , I am also very unstable and suffer with personal problems including lack of emotional and financial support from family and I dont have any real good friends only the jealous gossiping type, unfortunately. When i was about 16 weeks I considered an abortion highly because the father and I were fighting more . At this point I realized I was too far along and if I was going to do it it had to be at 5 weeks when there was NO baby only the beginning of the fetus. Im telling you this because I am happy now and cant wait to give birth to my second baby girl. I have a 4 yr old already and shes looking forward to being a big sister. believe me hun if I could do it, you can do it and YES you're right this baby angel inside of you definitely will make you work harder and he will make you a better individual. I see it all the time , as this happened for me. prior to my first child I wasnt in school and i hung out way too much on the weekdays . Now 4 years later I have a bachelors degree in biology and im continuning my education for a PHD. Of course I did this all for myself but guess who my motivation was? My child. You will be OK . I was very scared then and Im still scared now but everyday I look at my lil girl and tell her my life would mean nothing without her. In my eyes shes the reason Im alive. you will not regret having your baby because they do bring joy to lives. I hope I helped you in any kind of way and I wish you peace and happyness. my email is ponpas456@yahoo.com email anytime for more support . I could use some too :) Goodluck , Sincerely.

Great story. I went to the clinic two days ago on the day of my appointed procedure. When it came time to have an ultrasound I found out I was 15 weeks pregnant instead of the 8 they had predicted. My new appointment is on Saturday and I'm so nervous. I've been holding my stomach as I go to sleep for the last month and a half. I feel attached to this human inside of me. I've considered it's name. I've researched it's due date. And I have a feeling it's a little boy while my family is filled with girls. I'm 21 with a part time job and as much as it doesn't make sense to give birth while my life is so unstable, I can't deny that he would make me work even harder. My heart is heavy about the situation. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

ignore the ignorance of these people and these comments you did what you had to do and im in the same situation so i understand, only difference is im the father...24, in college, not financially stable or at least to the point to have a child comfortably and am not ready and just found out due to her being on birth control, the depo shot, and because of that, we are just now finding out 3 months later, but everything u said is exactly what i was thinkin and what happened to me, so you did right ma just make sure you stick to your plan and be the mother you say your going to be so that your decision wasn't in vain.. ignore these stupid *** people :)

Have fun raising a child in that environment !! It's called I used birth control and look what happened. So before commenting on MY story take a look at your own life and focus on that sweetheart instead of judging me. So make yourself feel better about getting pregnant young and ruining your life. Im happy and I am now 24 so go talk down to somebody your own age not me.

Question, why doesn't you or anyone else address the question of adoption as a viable option? If you really dont have the funds to raise a child why not let the baby live and be adopted by a good family that could raise and take care of him?

None of you should have opened your legs, you all knew this could happen. Take precautions before.

Amen that is so true

MacBm- jut because you use birth control doesn't mean you won't get pregnant, and these woman had said that over and OVER. Your ignorance, and complete lack of human decency must be clouding your ability to see anything but what you want to see...which is complete and utter hatred- YOU are the monster, and YOU are PATHETIC. You will never carry even half the strength and love these brave women sharing their stories have.

Question, why doesn't you or anyone else address the question of adoption as a viable option? If you really dont have the funds to raise a child why not let the baby live and be adopted by a good family that could raise and take care of him?

Thinking of adoption as the only viable option is you being closed minded. This is a support forum to support then woman through her pain in order to facilitate healing. No one here is saying they are proud of making this decision but it is a decision as women that we have the right to make. You saying adoption is the only ' viable' option is an opinion AND you obviously have no place to talk because you obviously haven't been through this personally.

1 More Response

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and only 20 years old, I'm not with the father I had to move home from out west from a good job and come home, I'm doing this alone and could never imagine this far along doing that, horrible.

wow bless you i know that is hard to do I wish I could be strong like you.. I considered this at 16 weeks i just couldnt go through with it.

How are you feeling now? did you do the surgery?

You know you could have had the baby and given it a great home with a family that wanted it, rather then murder your own child. Selfish I will never support abortion no matter what.

You're mean and no one here appreciates anything you say. everyone makes their own choice and comes here for comfort not be looked down upon. shame on you. why dont you pray for the choices of these people rather then throwing them under a bus! you're no good!

Some people don't have a choice. My fiancee & I wanted nothing more than a baby of our own. We were elated to find out when we were pregnant. But our elation fast changed to heartbreak at just 13 weeks gestation. Our baby was diagnosed with a sacrococcygeal teratoma - a tumour growing on our baby's spine at the coccyx. We spoke to our GP, 2 Obstetricians, 1 of which specialises in imaging & a Paediatric Surgeon. This tumour was massive. It was growing under & behind the baby's spine which would damage nerve endings to the bowel & bladder, leaving our baby to have lifelong incontinence issues, as well as bone structure disfigurement. At 13 weeks, our baby already couldn't close their legs. If the tumour was fluid filled, it could have been syringed to remove the fluid, but this one was a solid mass which had a direct blood supply from a sacreal artery. Our baby was at risk of heart failure & was not expected to live past 26 weeks gestation. Any baby born that early has a next to no chance of survival, a baby born that early with a tumour almost the same size as the baby itself could never survive the birth as well as an operation to remove the tumour. Although the tumour was benign, it most definitely would turn cancerous if not removed. I was at risk of pre eclampsia as well as complications arising from a caesarian birth with an opening from breast to pubic bone. If the baby was born naturally it would get stuck in the birth canal & die. If the tumour erupted, the baby would die & so could I. We exhausted every avenue to try and save our baby, but their fate was out of our hands. Our baby was going to die, whatever we decided. There was too much risk to our baby & myself to continue the pregnancy & we were forced to make an impossible decision. This has been the worst decision both my fiancee & I have ever been faced with. It affected both our families, including my 3 children, more than you could ever know. Not everyone chooses termination because of bad judgement or decisions, some of us had very little, if not, no choice. This whole experience has changed us for life. I would never wish it upon anyone.

Hello, I read your story a week ago. Honestly you gave me the courage to have the surgery. I am almost 17 weeks now. but when i did read your story hurricane sandy hit NY and so I had a blackout for 1 week. During this time i thought alot, and then looked up abortions online once power restored. to be quiet honest, i dont have the guts to go through with it. Although i would like to not have another child at this time(have a 4 yr old) but i just cant go through with the abortion. I hoped for a miscarriage and now am reading that they are unlikely to happen in the 2nd trimester. my only fear is getting to love the child then giving birth and losing it, maybe to SIDS or still baby at birth. Im so confused. If only id listen to my partner and got the abortion at 6 weeks when i first found out. but i was pressured by others telling me to have a nother child because my child (4yrs old) needs a sibling! now that im 17 weeks i realized wtf was i thinking? Im living with family, not done with school, still in love with my ex BF that i broke up with and now i hate the partner i am involved with bc he cheated on me and i am just so lost in life right now. I am 26 yrs old and love my child(4yrs old to death) but geez to think about waking up at 5 am again for the next year...gosh, i just cant do it alone, not again. any advice from anyone? I cant do adoption, i cant do abortion. :(((

i dont know what to say.. i am sorry that you and a lot of other women are going through all these everyday.. i am also pregnant, but in a situation very different than yours. i love my bf who i have only dated for a little more than 3 months who is also the father of the baby. the only problem i have in our relationship is that he is a regular pot smoker. i try my best to love and accept him the way he is. i try my best to still talk to him, make him feel good and happy while he is high/stoned. but in reality, it is almost an impossible job for me. i am in my week 15 now and i still want an abortion. i have no one to help me and my bf, even though he says he loves and cares about me, does not do much to care about my feelings or finance. i feel very helpless and sad all the time. anyway, i just want to vent a little bit before i give you my opinions. did you consider adoption? for a short period of time, i thought adoption would be the best option for me and my baby. but then after i talked to my family, i found out that my father is 100% against adoption. my bf doesnt like that either, he said he wants to raise the baby on his own. but he has no money and he lives with his mom who is also a weed addict. i wanted my baby to grow up in a wealthy and healthy family. there are a lot of adoption agencies out there and i am sure you will be able to get the support you need. i know how heartbreaking it is to even think about the idea of giving your own baby away, but if you cant afford an abortion, this would be the only other way. life is not perfect and sometimes it is okay and you should feel good about yourself and decision after you have chose the best decision and path available to you and your baby. i would probably have an abortion. my bf is not clear about his smoking habit, sometimes he says he is going to cut back/he is not going to smoke around the baby, sometimes he says he will remain the person as he is now. i dont know or understand him anymore and we rarely get the chance to talk when he is sober. he would get very sensitive and take everything i say really personally when he is high. i told him that we can find a solution so in our relationship, he can still smoke and i will also be able to talk to him and make important decisions with him in a successful manner. but he refuses the idea and just said that i am a very negative person and keeps nagging him about his habit. i hope you will find a solution to your problem soon. talk to different people and agencies, they are extremely helpful and you will be surprised. good luck to both of us that we will eventually make up a decision that gives us peace and comfort inside

This happened two years ago and I wrote there that I had the procedure. I'm sorry for your situation and hope you can find a solution to make you happy.

I am nearly 15 weeks and I lost all excitement. I am emotionally stressed out and i had a nervous breakdown today. I am feeling depressed and hve even had thoughts about suicide earlier today. And now I was browsing to see if it is possible to abort at 15 weeks. I haven't made any decisions whatsoever but it has crossed my mind. Will I be happy or be a good mum if I am so emotionally unstable? I know that is wrong but after today I am really desperate.

I work for an obstetrician and we see women all the time who are completely unsure through the entire pregnancy, or even sure during the pregnancy but then are diagnosed with post natal depression...no one can tell you if you'll be happy or a good mum but you can talk to counsellors and other professionals that will help you get a better insight to yourself. This is an important decision you're facing and whichever choice you make I strongly recommend you have talked it out until you are comfortable with yourself and what you choose :-)

thank you for your response. I haven't made any decisions and can be 99% sure I will keep the baby. It just really has been hard for me lately and that's why I have thought about an abortion. I have read about post natal depression and it is scaring me because I had a depression when I was younger and I tried to commit suicide. I am sometimes just do over everything I want to just fall asleep and never wake up. I have imagined my pregnancy being such an amazing and beautiful time but it's far from that. I am do unhappy most of the time and I cry allot and I think that no one understands me. My partner especially. His every evening drinking is probably the biggest issue because he drinks every evening a bottle of wine and I have een telling him that it's not the way father to be Gould behave. I am ready to set an ultimatum if he doesn't stop within a week I am going to leave him but then again. I'd it fair to te baby?? Or is it better to the baby. Because heh doesn't need a father who drinks every night. At the moment I am really so tired f my life of being pregnant of being judged for my emotional state I seriously don't know what's the next step will be.

I just came across this blog while looking at a 15 week pregnant sonogram. While reading through other responses i have realized how horrible some people can be. I am a Christian woman. I am 27 years old and 15 weeks pregnant with my 5th and last baby. My husband and i are so excited. I had my first baby at 16.( the father out of the picture as soon as he found out I was pregnant) It was a difficult situation. The simple task of providing diapers formula and clothes was a challenge. At 19 I found out I was pregnant again. At this time I was in school to become a nurse. I made a desicion to terminate the pregnancy. I was 5 weeks pregnant. I did have a hard time dealing with my desision. Not long after i met my husband. A wonderful nonjudgemental man who helped me to be at peace. I love my life. I love my children. As a Christian woman I am not here to judge any one nor am i here to be judged. With the exception of Christ. I pray that you are at peace. It does not sound as if you took this decision lightly so I do Need to tell you that I love you but more important, God still loves you.

I don't need to read all the comments on here. I want to say thank you for you reply to the above story. I had an abortion at 15 weeks, it was without a doubt the worst experience. I struggled even more, coming from a faithful family and my mum, who is a born again Christian. I always said I would never have an abortion, my mum drilled it into me and I remember her even showing me pictures of aborted babies!! I only found out as I was getting ready for a boxing competition and was putting on weight! After I struggled so much with guilt, I was obsessed with what the baby looked like, how it was progressing. The guilt and sadness was overwhelming, but deep down I knew I had no other choice. After a few weeks I picked myself up, I made that horrible choice so I could live my life, now I had to make everything worth while!! I grasped everything and pushed myself in all the areas in my life.... All for that baby I was too never know... That was the sacrifice I made and in a weird way, I wanted it to be worth going through that pain for. I have since experienced so so much, which I wouldn't have done had I chosen the other path. I have met my fiancé who I am truely happy with. We can't wait to start a family, he is the father of my child. It all feels so right. I believe god does still love me. I never thought it after that. Reading your comment has just turned a light on in my head!! Thank you

Ok I was 16 when I had my first abortion, at the time I was not a legal resident of Canada and my boyfriend of the previous 2 years cheated on my and ended oour relationship, I was stuck, I had horrible morning sickness, wasn't legally entitled to work or support myself and the father wanted nothing to do with the child, so for everyone out there who judge ppl becausr of the choices they made isn't fair the bible said not to judge others because he is the only one entitled to judge and it also says all sins can be forgiven. I had an abortion at 15 weeks and couple days, I was sad, mad and depressed that I had to go through it alone but you know what hurt the most, the day of the abortion when I was going into the clinic, after they'd already inserted the Y shaped thing to open my uterus, I had to have someone there to take me home after and offered too go with me he had the heart to ask my if I wanted to change my mind? If I wasn't in soo much pain, I would have punched him in the face for everything I had been going through. The moral of the story is that I could get my landed until I finished high school which I couldn't have done if I had a baby by the time I was 18, I graduated school made the honors roll the entire year of grade 12, I went on too college and no body would believe this I went too college did 2 years as an ECE and graduated now I work in a daycare at 22 and I'm doing all of this, I'm not saying it would have been impossible with a baby, but I'm saying the process would have been longer and I probably would have never gone too college I would have taken the next available job because I would have been a single parent struggling. Some people don't understand that sometimes that's the only option we have as young people and it makes us better as we grow, we have to strive to make better for our selves, it also teaches us to grow mentally and physically, so please think before you judge others.

Thank you for posting your story. I had an abortion at 16 weeks on January 1st and its comforting to know that I'm not alone.

Thank you for your post. I am in a similar position and just coming up to 16 weeks (it will be 17 by the time my appointment rolls around) and it is just so strange going through this later on - and as you say you do get asked or commented on for dealing with it so late. For me it was as I'd taken the morning after pill and really didn't think I could be pregnant so attributed the symptoms (which were surprisingly mild) to other things - looking back & recounting them all though does make me feel naive.<br />
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So much of what you say rings true for me. I feel like I have been pushed into becoming a different person which is unnerving, but maybe for the best. I do feel torn about this - but its also so hard to separate your true feelings out from those we've been conditioned to feel from the media over our lifetimes ("what sort of all loving woman 'giver of life' could ever limit her capacity to love, why that woman would just be un-feminine" - looking at you 'Friends', 'Knocked Up' & even Juno) and adding on to that all this BS conservative & religious group 'opinions' which are quite frankly vile. <br />
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I feel lost in my current life & part of me thinks selfishly this could be a way to define myself & give myself some purpose - but that is lazy & selfish thinking and those are no reasons at all to bring a child into the world. <br />
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Best thing I've read when getting through this is Caitlin Moran's book 'How to be a Woman' - Chapter 15 is on abortion & offers a very frank and open insight into what she went though which has been a beacon of sanity for me. I do really advise you to seek it out!<br />
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As for any and all of the pretty vile comments you may get from some conservative & religious types do your best to ignore them. Trying to convince them their opinions from on high are anything other than wrong, barbaric, warped & severely out of place on supportive posts like this is like teaching a pig maths - ain't going to happen. Leave it to them to command every pregnant woman in history to have unwanted & unloved kids or those who wont be given the best start in life because of 'their views' and then tell me who is selfish. -pffft.

I really feel for you...what you went through is terrible. I am nearly 14weeks pregnant and have a 9month old little boy, im no longer with the father, i feel very torn as to what to do...i don't want this baby but i don't feel i can abort it. Will i regret it? Or will i regret having this baby and not being able to give both of them the love they deserve?

Do what u feel is right for u. I do not regret it

I agree that abortion is murder. I am 15 weeks pregnant and not once has it cross my mind to kill the living child in me. I'm not rich or have the best life but who am I to deside this angels life. If god gave it to u is for a reason. I also have a 6 yr old I got pregnant at 17 and when I look at him I knw he might not have the richest life but watchin him smile n enjoy life is the best. There is protection n plan b pills or simply we all knw the consequenses of sex so to avoid gettin pregnant simply don't open ur legs

I find it so funny that all you disagree but yet you are all young with 2 or 3 kids already!!! Have fun living off the government and not even giving your kids a fair chance at life! It takes more then love.

How about using your brain for once in your life and letting the baby live and be adopted by someone who would have been a MUCH better mother than you could ever possibly become?

Any woman on here sharing their story, shows that they care. It just shows that we all too would be like you and love looking at our child and smile watching them enjoy life. There are consequences for every single action we take in life, we are individuals for a reason so please stop judging and let people heal and learn from our experiences.
I'm sure you've done something in your own life you're not proud of but at the time you felt like it was the right thing to do for you and you've since learnt from it.

I'm glad I'm keeping my beautiful baby... I'm not going to have them pull my baby apart and suck his brains out... And put his lifeless body in the disposal closet... You will forever regret it and feel pain and a void... Good luck on judgement day.

Oh I'm not worried:)

Good luck on judgement day with your self-righteous garbage. I'm sure your version of "God" will be quite impressed with your lack of humanity.

Question, why doesn't you or anyone else address the question of adoption as a viable option? If you really dont have the funds to raise a child why not let the baby live and be adopted by a good family that could raise and take care of him?

Abortion is murder, and I totally agree with the comment everyone doesnt agree with!! Who are we to think we can just end a life whenever we want to end it!!! How rediculous!! Just because the procedure is available, and people try to justify it, doesnt mean its right!! Where have the morals gone?? God says not to murder!! That is what he tells us not to do! Abortion just makes it convenient for people to have sex outside of marriage and worry bout the consequences later!! That their is a quick fix for everything these days!!! And Abortion is the quick fix for an unwanted, or untimely pregnancy!! Peoploe need to think about the consequences of their actions before they do things that they will think about or regret for the rest of their life!!

Not everyone believes what you believe so why don't you save your judgement for your own life. By the way, your God says that judging people is his job and that the ultimate sin is to attempt to do so in his place. Get a life.

How do you know what "god " wants?? The bible is old. It's re written. And god forgives right? And if you are so godly then who are u to judge me. Have fun with that.

Abortion is a womens choice, there are millions of children starving and suffering in the world and what are people doing to truly help them, people talking about God and morals like they've never made mistakes. An egg can be fertilised very easily even if you're using contraception- condoms rip! Women are subjected to manipulation from pushy partners and even raped- As for God saying murder is wrong "thou shalt not kill"! Well what about the innocent first born sons of the eyptians in the old testament? If my mother had had a termination with me obviously I wouldn't know it! So I wouldn't have lost anything or known anything to lose- being a good person isn't about telling everyone else around you they're good or bad it's about walking the talk. If you believe you doing right by god then bully for you and your ego you can pat yourselves on the back. But most of us are doing our best in the real world and that may mean having to terminate a pregnancy because we can't give a child what it needs to be a cared for well rounded Human being. Peace.

Question, why doesn't you or anyone else address the question of adoption as a viable option? If you really dont have the funds to raise a child why not let the baby live and be adopted by a good family that could raise and take care of him?

God says only He can judge.

2 More Responses

i fink the comment above is horrilbe, its every 1's choise not urs! i reali feel 4 u becos im now goin thro the same thing, i found out im 15weeks pregnant and i already have a 3 n 2 yr old, i fort id be safe because i had the coil fitted 8months ago but obvs i wasnt! im so torn in2 wat2 do do i bring a baby in2 this world that i dont want and hope that everything is ok or have an abortion?? i no iv got a nice house a brill partner and we want 4 nothan but things will change and i dont want my children iv already got 2 miss out on things and go with out, DONT listen 2 the negativity some people say u made the right choise 4 u at the time i hope it gets easyer 4 u xx

Sorry, but abortion is murder. It IS wrong in EVERY way. Simply because it is currently 'legal' does not mean it is "OK", "good" or "right". The subject of "choice" is propaganda by the abortion industry designed to prey upon vulnerable pregnant women, all for the $$$. They care nothing for you and certainly not your child. ~ You can try to justify what you did all you want, but your heart knows the truth. It always has. Life is not a choice. Once it occurs, (at conception), we have no right to snuff it out for any reason. What if someone decided YOU were inconvenient? Would it then be OK for them to murder you? I think not...

LOL @ propaganda... Times have changed bud. I can do what i want when i want. God does not control my life...I do. And its legal bc abortion isn't just for women who cant afford a baby. What about women who r raped and sick.....it is what it is and my life is better bc I do not have a child that I can't afford like other girls out there who have ruined.....yes ruined there lives bc they didnt have the courage to do what's right for THEM

thats called being selfish, which is exactly what you are! you should have given the baby up for adoption, but you ignored that option because you got off on the power you got by killing another being.

I find it incredibly disheartening that you find it fit to judge someone in a difficult time. Mind your business, love the family that you have and take care of yourself.

I was so upset about the doctor when this happened to me, too. I had a medical abortion but during my examination he made jokes, "looks like you made this one late saturday night, haha". Weird. I know what you are going through. It is so hard, trying to find someone to really talk to about it. No one around me really understood.

Hi,<br />
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its horrible that any of us should have to go through something like this, but made even worse if the doctors or nurses are insensitive during the appointments or procedures. I was 6 weeks when i went to take the first tablet at the hospital clinic. The nurse/midwife (not sure) said to me 'you do realise that you cant change your mind once you take this. This pill will stop your ''baby'' growing' She didnt sound mean when she said it but i had been purposfully not using the term baby as i just couldnt afford to make any bonds. I felt like crap afterwards and the word 'baby' stuck with me. I couldnt change my mind, even if i had wanted to. But i wish she had chosen her words more carefully. It just adds more emotional stress to the already hard situation. Im sorry that your situation was made harder for you. <br />
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Nothing anyone says can stop you from feeling guilty, unfortunately this is something that we are all going to have to come to terms with at our own pace. But know that this was not the right time for you, to have a child. It does not make you a horrible person, maybe a bit broken and lost for a while. I understand.

I hope everything goes okay for you. If you someone to listen I will. I am sorry you are going through this and it sounds like you are really questioning the actions you took. Do you have someone in your real life that you can talk to? I can only imagine the emotions you are going through right now and I wish I or someone else could help you. I hope that things get easier for you.

as far as ever needing someone to talk to i know exactly what your going through and if you ever need to chat i check my profile like 5 times a day....ill be on here no matter what and i hope your feeling a little better....its a hard thing but it gets easier