Ive Made The Mistakes, But I Do Not Regret It.

Before I start writing, I'd like to note PLEASE no negitive or insulting feed back. it is a very hard issue for anyone who has had an abortion to talk about it!

I have had two abortions. all in a short space of 6 months or so, It was the best decision for me at the time. And I don't regret it.

My first time being pregnant was with a boyfriend i was with for 2 years. I very much loved  him, and in the beginning of the relationship i was very very careful with protection. Not highly educated on protection and pregnancy, We started getting careless. Next thing I know i was pregnant.
I learnt very quickly that my boyfriend was not right for me, as when I told him he laughed and asked when I was getting and abortion.

I did genuinely want to keep the child, But after getting advice from friends. I knew it was not the best idea and I am SO glad as I would be having my first child this month, and me and the father have no choice but to still be in communication. Pregnancy was one of the hardest things that I have been through in my short 18 year life, And i now understand that pregnancy is not easy. The emotional and hormonal changes were very hard.

The abortion was painful and I grieved for a long time afterward, Me and the boyfriend broke up shortly after.

The second time was with a new boyfriend, And I was stupid enough not to have learnt from the first time.
The second time i had just got a new job, And I had severe morning sickness and was emotional! Crying and everything. I had no choice but to tell my work as I am a terriable liar. During this second pregnancy It was hard as the father of the child was so bitter and couldn't understand why I was so emotional all the time. At 9 weeks I had my termination and I found it alot easier than the second time, I also got a iud put in. I bearly grieved this time around. I tell myself I have no sad feelings for this pregnancy, Yet i still can not get rid of the ultrasound scan photo.

I am very glad I went through this experience. It has helped me grow up ALOT, it has made me a stronger person.  Abortions aren't right for everyone, But they are a good choice if you know you can not bring up a child in the enviroment you live in.

Thank you for reading.
seizetheday seizetheday
18-21, F
22 Responses Jul 11, 2010

you do wat u feel is the rite thing its your life and no 1 should judge u for that x

I'm on your side. I applaud you for researching and going through all of your decisions and making sure you chose one that you ultimately felt was the RIGHT choice. I'm not saying that abortion is always the right choice - by all means, if a woman knows that she has no way to take care of a child, then she shouldn't have sex. But that's over and done with - those choices have been made and, no, maybe it wasn't the right choice. But it's done - it's made. So now what? Live with it and eventually punish/neglect/traumatize that "innocent child" people talk so strongly about by not being able to raise it or raising it in an environment that is most certainly - and KNOWN - inappropriate? Or prevent it from ever having to come into a world where even the people who say "Stop abortion, stop murder!" won't even make the CHOICE to take care of it? They say put it up for adoption but I guarantee that those people who chastise a woman for her decision would not adopt her baby.

Haha its okay, i do that too when I am really thinking in depth and writing!<br />
I know, people shouldn't be critizing the writers in this group, expecially if they havent experienced it!

oops, I just realized my comment made no sense: I meant "the morning after PILL" not people! Sorry, I should check what I write before I post :)

Anytime, darling. :) <br />
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How dare people judge anyway? That's why I think it's up to the rest of us to try to make up for them by being supportive. Nobody knows what its like in your shoes! People like that little Marcus greasebag make me want to vomit. I guess if I looked like that and I didn't fit in anywhere I'd be all angry too. PS Marcus - a haircut wouldn't be a bad idea. I know you might hate the world sometimes (yeah, gut instinct means alot to me), but it's the only world that's out there - so you might as well try to adjust to it and appreciate it more.<br />
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At your age, more than you can even imagine - the world is your oyster. Especially now, that you've made the decision that you've made. Be at peace with it. Heck, I feel happy thankful relief when I think of my decision. I struggled so much when I was younger...it was a rocky road. Eventually I managed to sort myself out and get a career, and a life that I'm pretty happy with. <br />
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Now here's something I'm not proud of: Truthfully, I'm not sure if I would still be here if I had not been able to access my first abortion. Honestly, I do kind of feel like it saved my life. I know lots of people won't believe that, or just think that other people could have helped me through or whatever. But I was starting to scare myself towards the end, and it's not like you can run from yourself when things get crazy. Looking back on it, I think I was depressed but functional and it wasn't diagnosed. My life circumstances weren't the greatest either. I guess the pregnancy really drove me off the rails. I've read that pregnancy brings on hormonal changes (the same kind that make people emotional during PMS, but worse)....which is why some people get depressed, even sick (like post partum depression). <br />
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Especially at your age.....the sad truth is that depression and suicide are the leading cause of death, and I think it's worse for women than men too. That's why I don't understand all the haters that do their best to make young girls (who are in a tough situation) feel bad about themselves. They must be just too stupid to understand the damage they might be inflicting. Seriously, why would you call someone a murderer?! That's crazy! And just ignorant too. I've driven my my local clinic and see them calling and jeering at young girls with their heads down in shame...and it always makes me wish I had some eggs handy. :)<br />
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Alot of these people were the same people who went all crazy when the morning after people became over the counter. Alot of them think that's murder too. Mistakes happen to well meaning people, and that's not gonna change anytime soon. To equate the potential for life to a human life is a SERIOUS mistake. You'd figure that would be obvious. Wishful thinking sadly. <br />
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So....don't ever let them stop you from keeping your chin up. Remember you're in good company (with the majority of people), we just tend to be more quiet than the ignorant haters! Maybe we just need to get louder with our love and understanding and support :)

thank you soooo much! that was lovely!

Hi Darling. First - Congrats for having the strength to do what's right for you....and not let self-righteous strangers dictate what you should have done! The most qualified people on medical ethics are not religious groups, or anyone else....but doctors, the VAST majority of which have NO moral opposition to the VAST majority of abortions (which usually mostly happen within the first trimester). So those guys should know what's right more than anyone. They are most qualified. They study natal development, etc.<br />
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I don't believe that life begins at conception for a minute. If that were true, what about all the fertilized eggs we send down the toilet without knowning it (IUD's). I read that many would-be pregnancies end up as misscarriages with women being none the wiser. I feel sorry for anyone who's so clouded by dogma that they think that's like murder.<br />
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As for me, I've had two. One, when I was 19. I became so profoundly depressed before I got it done, anxious to get it done.....I'm not sure if I would have actually made it through without doing something horrible to myself. I don't know why, but I became very mentally sick. My doc got me expedited access to an abortion as he came to believe that it was an emergency, he called me at home to see how I was doing....never for a second did I wonder if I did the right thing. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.<br />
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Ten years later, I had another one. I probably could have tried to carry that one through, and change my whole life accordingly....but I didn't. And I think of my life right now and thank God that I had access to a choice, and great services to help me. The only feelings I think of when I think of my abortions are absolute relief that that time in my life is long over.<br />
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Ever notice how it's much more acceptable to talk about how you had an abortion and regret it, than have the guts to admit that you don't regret making the decision. Even though 1000's of women (most women) don't regret their decision......so you're in good company....even if we are muzzled by all the self-righteous a**holes who just want to shove their (misplaced) beliefs down our throats. Whatever. Never forget that we're the majority, darling. And that's why abortion is legal and provided as part of health services today. <br />
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Take care. Love yourself. And don't let anyone ever make you feel otherwise....nobody knows what's right for you more than you. sending hugs :)

one more thing...now that we have made ammends...........<br />
it is not just because I believe in the bible that I have these opinions.....I have always had them...before I <br />
ever even thought about religion.,....thank you....

@ musikkvinne: wasnt talking to you. talking to the ******* who first replied to her. and Markus, you look like the type of guy who will never experience a woman so you should keep your comments about this to yourself. ******* emo loser.

@ gofast24--I wasn't criticizing her. I think u didn't actually read my post b/c you said "bible thimpers" like there were several and there was only one person who posted before me who was negative. I'm just confused, that's all. I was trying to be supportive.

Markus, you are a disgusting human being. Truly despicable.<br />
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siezetheday -- Thank you for sharing your story. I don't know why these pro-lifers randomly choose stories in this experience to comment on. It seems like they've gotten lost on EP & ended up in the wrong group. Perhaps their comments would be more welcomed in the pro-life group. It's kind of humorous that a man, who will never know what it's like to be pregnant, chooses to judge you for your choices! But hey, at least he was cordial at the end & wished you a nice day. Lol!

that why i got an iud.

If I have to pick a side, I choose pro-choice. Although I think abortion is wrong, I do think that it is better to give a woman the choice to have her child. I do think that killing children like that is awful, but I'll support your decision. I'm glad you learned from it and hopefully in the future, you'll be more careful and maybe you should try taking a pill.

seizetheday, dont listen to these bible thumpers. me and my girl re currently going through a medical abortion. I love her wit all my heart but right now isnt the right time for us to have a baby. her schooling is on the line and she is already 100 grand in debt. and needs to finish or we wont be able to afford to pay them off and would be bankrupt. what these jesus freaks dont understand is that not everyone believes what they do and shouldnt have to. I fully support your decision and respect you for it. you are stronger than you think and you will see in the future you made the right decision for you. to those of you who are giving her all this negative feedback i say F-You. who do you think you are? we dont want or care about your stupid opinions. its people like you that are ruining this world. you claim to follow beliefs that are based on love but you clerly hate everyone who doesnt believe in what you do. hypocrites! the bible lord loving sissies who were standing outside the clinic when we went didnt say s**t after i told them to shut the f*** up. bunch of cowards. leave this woman alone. Seizetheday, be strong. much love.

First of all, I wouldn't post something without expecting criticism--people say what they want whether you want them to or not. But I don't agree with the person who decided to post this criticism. I probably have a strange point of view compared to most people. Being someone who has struggled with severe depression in my life, I really don't see the point of creating a new life if you don't have a good foundation to ensure that child's happiness--or at least give them a good chance at it. Life is not always good. I also don't believe that if there is a God, that it is a concrete figure in the sky who wrote a list of rules for us to follow--I believe that if God exists, God is love--and would not only forgive but would also understand the circumstances which you were in and would not want people to create their own suffering (which is what we do most of the time).

Im only going along with what you suggested!

you are horrible. **** off.

yeah...youre right...maybe Hitler should have killed all those jews? <br />
You are talking out of your ***!

its very very very common for teenagers to have sex with someone they don't love.... atleast we think we love someone and get it mixed up with feeling lust, I don't know what religion you are but concider outside your box? Maybe thats why you don't understand other peoples way of thinking? being one eyed about your thoughts doesn't help. it might be the way you are brung up but you should respect EVERYONES thoughts and ideas on life.

but why have sex with someone you dont love? That baby was a product of God's love! And there ARE other options.......Like I said, I was Adopted!!!!!!!!!

I understand how you are feeling, But my situation ment I couldn't continue on with the pregnancies. I wrote on this website with my experience and it was not easy, also asking for no criticism. You might think abortion is murder, But you should try see it from my point of view too. don't think i just went through the pregnancy without researching my options, cause i really did. and termination was the best option for me. for some people it is. wether you like it or not.

ok....well.....I just think that killing an unborn child is wrong...and I'm only being HONEST...I'm not trying to start a fight.....but I am sorry for your loss but moreso, Im sorry for the babies who were killed inside you before they had a chance at life....my mom was going to abort my brother but a lady at the abortion clinic talked her out of it...him and I were adopted TOGETHER and I honestly have NO idea what might have become of me if I had to go it alone even though he was younger than me....but I'm glad I got a chance to live and my brother too....even though life was hard on us both, its nothing compared to having never had a chance to live. I'm sorry if it hurts your feelings but maybe it should....abortion is murder.