Trying To Decide

Ten years ago, when I was 17, my first boyfriend and I got pregnant. We knew we were too young and not mature or responsible enough to care for a child. I had a surgical abortion. I was around 10 weeks. The process itself wasn't too painful, although the emotional aspect of it was depressing. I was very sad after wards and would cry and mourn over the loss. I've always known that I made the right choice, and sometimes I still think about what could have been.
I have been on the pill for 8 years now. I have had two serious relationships within that time span. Six weeks ago I broke things off with my boyfriend of a year and half and decided to give my body a break and go off the pill. I thought it was a good idea to give my body a rest from the extra hormones from the pill, and I really thought I wouldn't be having sex. Two weeks after I finished my last pack, my boyfriend and I worked things out. I decided to go back on the pill the following month, once I got my period. We had sex often during that time, but we used protection, expect for one time. We just didn't think I'd be ovulating so quickly! It only took that one time to get me pregnant. Currently I am 5 and a half weeks.
I know that I want children, but now is not the time. I've also realized that this man is not the man for me and that I should not have gotten back together with him. I feel like an idiot sometimes, thinking that if I hadn't been so stupid and gotten back together, this never would have happened.
I know another abortion is the right choice for me. This one will be my second, but it will also be my last. I am trying to decide between having a medical, because I'm still early enough, or to do the surgical, because at least I'll know what to expect. I seem to have more worries about the medical because of the pain, length of time, and the uncertainty. The only concern with the surgical is the invasive-ness of the procedure. I'm still on the fence with which procedure I will have, but I think I'm leaning towards the surgical. Please, if you have any personal experiences, do share.
Yes, I am pro-choice. If you are not, why are you on this website anyways??
jen123456 jen123456
26-30
3 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Penishuge, where in my post did I say I wasn't "ready" at this time? Who are you to imply that I haven't spent days contemplating my decision? You might want to try to be less judgmental and realize that even at 27 years old it may not be a wise choice for me to raise a baby. I just recently became a police officer, working long and sometimes late shifts. The relationship with the father is not going to work out. Both my parents are deceased. I should have a child, struggle immensely, probably have it raised mostly by nannies, and have it grow up resenting me for never being there? <br />
I am absolutely sure of my choice. And thank you MarkFree, you are absolutely right. When I am ready to have children, I will. You, of all people, Penishuge, should know that, having had one yourself.

Prisons are filled with unwanted children. If you really want to contribute to the world, have the abortion and dedicate yourself to improving the world. Wait until you are ready to have children.

I would do surgical (that's what I had). Since you've had a surgical you already know what to expect. I've read a lot of stories on here about how painful the medical was. But you should do what you feel most comfortable doing.