Birthday Month

My birthday month come again. The most scary month of the year. My guilt of abortion start to get stronger, and haunt me.
I had a dream few night ago.
"I was at a train station. Passenger have to scan their finger to get on the train instead of showing a ticket. I did. Then, alarm went on. I didn't know what was wrong, but a police came to catch me. I screamed "What was wrong!!!", then they said "You murdered a baby" ".
I woke up with exhaustion. Am I going to have this things a rest of my life? Probably,.....I questioned, and answered myself. I really hate July, and sorry, my dear baby. I miss you, I love you. Please forgive me.
iceland iceland
46-50, F
2 Responses Jul 13, 2010

I past by an abortion clinic this morning, and found that usual protest person stood up in front of a clinic with a lot of sign of GOD, and hurtful words on a poster. <br />
Depend on person, feeling toward abortion is different. I didn't know this sequence, and I really wished that I have serious counseling before I had done it.<br />
I am a buddhist, and God's accusation doesn't reach my ears. However, as a human, I love life, and my torment will be continue. I accept.

Good heavens! I can't believe your story has been viewed 19 times and no one has bothered to offer you a single word of comfort. Please seek healing, dear. Your life is too short and too precious to spend it grieving and guilty. Look up Rachel's Vineyard (the forum will reject my comment if I put the link in). I will be praying for you to open yourself to your heavenly Father, and let Him heal you.<br />
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Love,<br />