Right Choice, But There Is A Price

As a teenager, I got pregnant.  Twice.  Both times, I decided that it was not right.  Decisions I do not question, even now.  When I was in my mid 20s, I fell pregnant again.  I expected my husband of 6 years to be elated.  He wasn't.  He knew about my past.  He asked me to stop it, saying "we can always have another".  I agreed - saying to myself at the same time, that he didn't deserve my child and that we would NOT have another chance because that was the final sign that he was the wrong man for me.  

Those early terminations were relatively free of pain and emotion.  No pain worse than a period.  Emotions calm too because I had no money, no prospects and was determined not to be a dead-end teenage mother - despite divorced parents, I believe having both is right.

The third was not the same.  Still no physical pain, but emotional nightmare as all my friends started announcing babies.  

Many years down the line and confronting the fact that now I can't have a child, that third one haunts me.  Still, I cannot change it, but must live with it.  All I say to you is this: do what is right for you - deep down it is your life and no one else knows what it is to live your life.  However, don't assume that you can have children in your late 30s.  You'll be surprised how many can't and you won't be very pleased with yourself if you're one of them.

Take what control you can, but remember, that you don't actually have control of everything :-)
aceso aceso
1 Response Jul 18, 2010

wow. you're truly an amzing person. you have my deepest sympathy for having that happen to you..