Scared

I have an abortion scheduled for thursday morning. im taking the pill form and i'm terrified. ... 1. of the side effects and 2.  im afraid it could take a toll on my relationship with my boyfriend who i am deeply in love with although he supports me either way and agrees neither of us are close to ready for a child. 3. im scared i may regret it down the road and it could haunt me forever....im not pro-life but im not really pro choice either im in between i guess i dont really know. i dont judge eihter way. altho i am not religious in any way either. i think religon is the weakest argument went it comes to the topic of abortion or any topic for that matter really, anyway now im rambling. im  just scared. any advice for me?
MadDonna MadDonna
26-30, F
15 Responses Jul 27, 2010

Thank you so much trying...you have been really helpful and make me feel so not alone. this website in general is helping a lot. i feel like its the only suport and sensitivity i really have right now. and maybe thats enough since we are all going through the same thing, thank you so much.

I would make sure that you have everything you think you may need waiting for you at home. You know like comfy clothes, a nice freshly made bed(fresh bed sheets always make me feel better), get some food and heating pad and such. From what I gather you will go through a lot of cramps. So what ever you would have on hand for a bad period I would get together. Just remember You have us on here, so you will not be going through this alone. I will be off on the 6th, so I can be here online for ya:) Take a breath..... Things will be over before you even know it!

thank you so much trying2bstrongatheart. He says he understands he'll never be able to understand what i'm going through, if you get that, but I just can't believe I have to do this on my own. He told me tonight he wouldn't even be able to take care of me the following days after i take the pills. Will it be okay to do it without supervision?

Things will be ok. Don't feel bad, I feel the same way. I just to have my abortion over and done with. as for your boyfriend. he doesn't have to understand to listen. just tell him what is on your mind and have him hold you. NO man will ever understand what a woman goes through when she is pregnant and if she aborts the pregnancy. He can listen and give you support. Just like us here on the website will listen and give support. I do hear you about this website offering the best support. I have two friends that I confided in, and even though they have been amazing they just do not offer this kind of support. <br />
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i myself know i will not regret this choice. i do know that it is a choice i will remember for the rest of my life. BUT we always remember bad times in our lives. We can only learn from these times and live our lives to the fullest. Keep yourself busy and keep your head held high and your boy friend and brother close. I can relate to your parents. I can not tell mine cause they will only think of them losing a grandchild and not of the effects on me. but we are lucky to have others in ours lives that will not judge. just remember that your parents do love you, you just do not see eye to eye on this. You will have your relief soon and will be able to continue on building your life. I hope this helped.

I talked with Planned Parenthood again today. They were able to schedule me on August 6th. I'll have to drive about an hour but I don't mind that so much. What does bother me is my "supportive" boyfriend, the father, said he won't be able to go with me on that date because of work. That just makes me feel more alone and angry at him really. Is that wrong? Am I over reacting?

Well I got there and was freaked out all morning, Finally after hours of waiting it was my turn for the sonogram. Well they couldnt find anything. So then they were worried it was an ectopic pregnancy so they sent me to an er to get tested out there since hospital sonograms are better i guess. And I waited there all day. They found it. I'm 4 weeks along and now I have to wait 2 more weeks before planned parenthood will do it. So my new appointment is scheduled for August 12th now. After the day I had today of waiting, I really just want to get it over and done with at this point. If that sounds awful i'm sorry but it is how I feel. I think i'm really ready.

I hope today went okay.

I hope it went okay.

well i'm going to try to go to bed now, have to be at planned parenthood at 9 tomorrow morning. i'm still scared but feel much better after your comments. my boyfriend may not be able to stay with me the whole time and if he has to leave i don't know if i will be able to go through with it alone. thank you everyone for your support.

thank you everyone for your comments. i really appreciate it. my boyfriend really wants me to talk to him about it more but it's just hard for me for some reason. i don't feel like he has any idea what i am going through in this. i don't feel he can relate. i found this website and its helped me a lot because i just feel so alone because i haven't really had anyone to talk to about this. i am going to keep it from my mom because she is strongly against abortion and i don't want her to be disappointed in me. my brother i have talked to briefly about it but only through text messaging because he is traveling right now. although he is very supportive and told me if him and his girlfriend got pregnant they would do the exact same thing. anyways, thank you everyone for your input, stories, and advice.

Every woman is different. I'm 19 and have had both types of abortion in the past year. My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half, were being careful and I've recently had the contraceptive implant put in my arm. But when these things happen at a young age, of course it's going to be hard.<br />
I always feel guilty because my boyfriend and I discuss children in our future, and I feel likee the child we will have in a few years could have had two brothers or sisters. I think about it every day but I know it was the right decision at the time.

I had the pill abortion two months ago. I found it was okay, but I was sick a lot from the pain killers, which made my experience worse I think. I'm still getting over it, but only because the worst thing for me was seeing the embryo on my pad. Most women don't even see it, so I wouldn't worry, but just be prepared for clotting etc.

Dear MadDonna,<br />
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I agree that if it's what you think is best for you, then you need to do it. I was too far along for the pill...I found out I was pregnant at 16 weeks. I seriously considered adoption...even had a family interested in meeting me and my ex. But I wanted the baby, and couldn't see myself being able to hand over my baby...there wasn't much choice for me, as it sounds like there isn't for you. My procedure was a two day painful process. I know in my heart that it was the right decision, that doesn't mean it isn't hard. This and all the bs I dealt with from my ex happened a year ago. I won't lie to you, after mine I had a breakdown. I got very depressed, and take antidepressents to this day. But I've had depression before. I think about it everyday, play the what if? game with myself. I cry and feel like there's a piece of me missing, but for me it was the best decision in the situation. Follow your heart and listen to your head. I'm here for you...<br />
-Meg

i just had one sunday night. i went to the clinic on saturday, got my first pill and sunday i took the rest. monday (yesterday) i worked a ten hour shift with no cramping and bleeding was like a medium-heavy period. today, ive been home resting all day and there is a little bit of cramping. it wasn't bad sunday night. right after the pills dissolved and i swallowed them, i put a heating pad on my stomach and went to sleep. i woke up 3 hours later with medium cramps but lots of bleeding. it'll bleed more when you go to the bathroom and you stand up from laying down, but don't be scared or grossed it..it's not that bad. by the time 7 hours was up, which was around 1am monday morning, i was okay. the bleeding had gone to a medium-heavy period. everyones body is different and idk, i think maybe i was lucky in the sense that i was able to work the day after and have no problems..but i don't know. reading stuff online doesn't help..it freaked me out beyond freaked me out but in the end, it wasn't that bad. and just remember ::: if this is something YOU want to do and YOU think is right for your life, then you should do it.

please. for those of you that have gone through this did you feel regret, guilt, depression? were any of you questioning wether or not you were making the right decision and if so did the depression and regret go away?