Too Far

Yesterday was scheduled visit with Planned Parenthood.  I didnt sleep well the night before, but was up early.  Tried to eat something before I went but as some of us know, morning sickness is a *****! so I grabbed an italian ice and went out to meet my cab.  The mood was extremely light in the waiting room.  I think they schedule all the abortions on one day, cause we all had to fill out the same paperwork.  which was definitely about abortions.  After filling out my paperwork and paying my deductible i was in line to be taken back.

"Is the info on your arm band correct"
-yes
"go empty your bladder then head down to the lab"

The nurses were just the best.  So nice and comforting.  Explaining everything as it was done.  Keeping me talking and sometimes laughing.  I guess they realize that value of keeping my nerves down.  After getting my labs done I went in for the ultrasound.  This was the part i was most nervous for.  I mean true actual confirmation that something was growing inside of me.  Like before with the lab nurses, the ultrasound tech was just nice and sweet as can be.  keeping me talking about vacation and what nots.  

then she said what i didn't want her to say.  "you are too far along to get this done here".  Let the freak out begin!  She started by handing me a tissue and giving me a hug.  Then told me that I would just have to go to a different clinic was all.  She gave me a number at a place she used to work, and seeing how great she was i had no hesitation with knowing that I would go there.  after getting myself dressed I was free to go.

I went downstairs outside of the building and sat down to make the new call.  to my surprise they were just as nice and just as helpful.  after making my appiontment, i turned and to my surprse a mom from upstairs had come down to get some air.  after making nicities, we starting talking about why we each were there.  She with her daughter, me with just me.  I am not a religious person, but do believe that certain things always happen when you need them to happen.  She made me feel even more confident in my chioce.  She listened, and did not offer any opinions.  She just looked at me and said how selfless I was being and then came and gave me the biggest hug!  that made me have the courage to go out front to wait for my cab,  where the prolife protestors were standing.

They saw my wrist band and turn away from me.  good!  cause I wasn't looking forward to telling them off.  I would have... in the nicest way possible.
After coming home, my two girl friends still came by.  We had some pizza and a greek salad and tried to read the ultrasound pic.  We could not see what the sex was, so we came up with a few non-sex names.

All and all the day was not too bad.  I now just have to sit around and wait for my new appointment that is on friday.  My same friends will be there for me and i will actually get antibiotics and some pain meds. which is good cause i will be dealing with enough emotional pain, i do not want to deal with the physical pain.  HOpefully doing some house cleaning will keep me busy.  but for now I will cuddle my kitty, who always knows when his momma needs some extra love.  Next tuesday is my new D day.

thanks for you listening.
trying2bstrongatheart trying2bstrongatheart
26-30, F
4 Responses Jul 28, 2010

I'm glad everything went alright!

Thank you all for kind words. I got to go to work today and will tomorrow. That is helping a lot keeping the anxiety down. I came home and took the longest hottest bath. my back is really starting to hurt everyday. I really can't wait for tuesday. I don't want to sound insensitive when i say that. but i just want to get this done and over with. that way i can start the grieving process. <br />
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Elurp- I was hesitant at first about the name thing. But I feel it will help me with my grief. continuing on with my nursing school plans and keeping up my company will go on due to this decision. not that those things are the only reason I made this choice. but I want to be able to thank a name. because this fetus' memory will always be with me. no matter how much sometimes i will want to forget. but i do appreciate the thought.<br />
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All of you are just great. This website is the best thing for me. I don't feel alone even when i am just here by myself. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough!

I'm so glad you have such supportive friends. Having a group of people who love you & who are there for you is really important when you're going through something like this. You're very lucky. I hope everything goes smoothly on Tuesday (I'm sure it will). I read your other stories you posted here & I'm glad you're so confident in your choice. I don't know what I would've done if there had been pro-life protesters outside the clinic when I got mine done. I'm not sure I could have managed to be nice to them!<br />
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elprup -- Sometimes women choose names because it helps them. It's actually quite common. Abortion isn't a choice made easily and without sadness and some find it easier to put a name to what they are going to mourn.

I'm glad that you have support by your friends and that you found another clinic that can do the procedure! Keep your head held high!