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I Miss My Baby ...

I had an abortion one week ago, and there is not a night that I don't sit in my quietude and cry. I think about it each and everyday. I need to emphasize as to why I did this, but I can never think of a plausable answer. I met and fell in love with a married man (unknowingly married). I had never been pregnant before, and at 34 I wondered why this happened to me now. The father and I are still in love, but at 20 years difference in age, the situation made it literally impossible to have this child. He has 4 other children that are grown and in their 20's. I feel cheated that I wasn't able to keep my baby. I know that life teaches us lessons, but this is a lesson that I will live with the rest of my life. I'm now afraid that I've fallen into depression. Work is not important, and anything else that I cared about is falling to the waste side. Does anyone else feel this way and how may I overcome such feelings of hatred towards myself?

Please help ...
missmybaby1 missmybaby1 31-35 5 Responses Mar 13, 2011

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Aww, i'm sorry to hear about the abortion. Everything will be okay because the baby is in heaven with god. :) when I was little, i have this condition called hydrocephalus. It basically means water in the brain and can cause the brain and head to expand abnormally in size, and the doctors told her that I would be mentally disabled, and I won't be able to function like a normal person would, or do such simple tasks like walk, talk, feed myself. I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and be fed through a tube. An option for my mom was to have an abortion, because she was young too (in her teens) and there was a chance I wasn't going to be normal. She did not want to have an abortion because I was already fully developed and she said that she had 'faith' in me that I will be able to function normally like everyone else, and not need a wheelchair. When I came to this world, I did have water in my brain and I always will, but I have a shunt, which prevents water buildup in my brain to drain it out. I am now 16 years old, going into 11th grade, I am one of the luckiest people with the condition to get a chance to live normally thank you to god, and my mom. If it wasn't for them I would've been aborted. I'm glad that my mom had so much hope and love for me at such a young age and kept me here with a great opportunity to live life like everyone else here.

I am sorry I went threw an abortion in november and I still cry and regret doing it. There is this place called rachels vine yard its a retreat to help women or men who is depressed from abortion. They will even give the baby a burial ceremony. You should check it out I am planning to go to this retreat just google it and look up ur city. The most thing I regreted was even listening to anyone, I know it was hard but be stong who wanted to get the abortion done? I was on the same boat but I knew he was married I was planning on keeping it but my fanily started hating me for wanting to keep it, my plan was to keep the baby and raise my baby by nyself with no support I hope u get better

I know I'm responding late, but I have a hard time reading anything to do with my abortion. I decided to read your encouraging words, and I'd like to find this retreat. My married man was a pathetic soul to convince me of something that I disagreed with. I felt that if I didn't have the procedure, I would be faced with a nightmare of problems. Since this post, I found out that he indeed did have another child (outside his marriage), and I just about lost my mind. I felt robbed of having my child and the regret overwhelmed me. I'm still trying to live a sain life and give back to others in support, as you all have been for me. I hope that your doing well, and I send you hugs XXX

I thank all of you ladies for your support. Your messages have given me hope that there will be better days ahead. I send out my admiration to the bravery that you face, and to still be able to help others like myself pull through ...we are all sisters who share in this experience and will endure this together ...I send out a heartfelt thanks for making my days brighter.<br />
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Hugs XOXOXOXOX

I feel your pain. I had my abortion one month ago today. I find myself somedays to wake up and smile and others i don't want to move. The worst was going to my post op which was friday I basically relived the experience. I had my boyfriend and father of my baby with me. I don't know what i'd do if i didn't have him. I regret my abortion and blame my mother and grandmother for pushing me to have one. I hope you are OK and find peace. I feel like it will take a while for myself. If you need anything or want to talk more message me.

At the moment you are still grieving, this is completely normal, you need to get through this in order for you to let go. Eventually I promise you wil start to see the positives in what you have been through.<br />
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The only real advice I can give is that this man is not right or good for you, and you probably should let go of him to, eventually move on find someone special and start a family.<br />
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Just remember what you have done does not make you a bad person, or a bad mother. You did what was right for the child and no-one can take that away from you<br />
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Big hugs<br />
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xxxxx