:( Had Mine TodayI found out i was pregnant about 2 weeks ago . I had all symtoms being sick , tender swollen boobs and cramps . When the doctor came and told me it was positive i just had a break down i never thought this would happen to me and wondered how i could have been so stupid . I thought wow this isnt fair , im not ready for a child yet , i'm still at college gof t work ambitions and other battles im facing . The relationship with my partner is very scary and crazy.So i decided it would be best to have an abortion , all though i always used to say i will never have one . I knew i would feel really guility and bad for what i was doing and i still dont know if i have thought it out properly . Maybe my boyfriend telling me i have too and that theres going to be problems if i dont get rid.Today i went to the mariestopes in london clinic for abortions , i had fasted for 6 hours went in and waited waited waited . Then finally my name was called , i decided to do the pill as they said this would be best since i was only 6 weeks . I went alone and felt so lonely i had no one friends saying they would come didnt turn up , my boyfriend well i knew he wouldnt be awake. I get home after the pill crying crying and i cant quite get the reason as to why i feel so upset . I decided that all my friends hate me and i feel depressed and thought life would really be better if i wasnt here . My boyfriend hates me too , i rang him up needing support and comfort and all i get is him acting like its a walk in the park its nothing . And starts bring up so much random talk , hes kinda skitz and all my friends say he is so bad for me but he can be so nice to me too sometimes. He was awful today he called me a slag , told me to kill myself , called me fat and ugly and everything under the sun . Just cause i rang him up crying , i dont think he can handle girls crying well its what he says , but of course im going to be upset after what has just happened . I feel truly alone in this now , my friends let me down my boyfriend has let me down .
I have to go back to the clinic tomoz to take 4 more tablets that disolve in the mouth , apaz i will start to bleed really heavily after that and shake like im cold and feel sick . Im really dreading this and now i feel in such a muddle with no one . I thought i would get through this at the start but now i feel so alone and unhappy
lucylost 18-21, F 4 Responses 0 Jun 2, 2011