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Worst Decision

My boyfriend and I had been together for around 6 months when I got pregnant. I managed to hide it from him for a month because I just did not know how to tell him. I finally did and all he could do was tell me to get an abortion. I refused and refused it. Then he suggested adoption. I couldn't do that either. I was adopted when I was born. My birthmom sends me a card every so often. Usually holidays and birthdays. I've never written her back, as much as I would like to. It's hard to know that you didn't come from the people who are raising you so, you really don't know where you come from. Finally after he realized I wouldn't budge he gave in to keeping it. Then, my dad and I were taking my younger brother to camp and we droppped him off at the bus. I was having major morning sickness. He knew it- then proceeded to tell my mom. A few days later, she took me into her room, shut and locked the door. Then she proceeded to move a chair in front of the door and sat in it so I couldn't leave. She wouldn't let me leave the room until I said yes to an abortion. I didn't know what else to do. Then she made me call the place and make my own appointment. It was the WORST feeling ever. I felt so helpless. I had it done August 19th. I made the worst decision by letting my mother tell me what to do. Now I can't watch tv without thinking about how my life would be with the baby. I can't even be with the father of it so I left him. I'm all alone and no one I know can help me. I cry daily and think about it. It was the worst decision I've ever made. I wanted that baby so bad. But it was taken from me.
gro25 gro25 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 16, 2011

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Oh honey, you're not alone. We're here for you. Have you tried any way to bring closure to your pain? My Medical (Induced Misscarriage, because I can't bring myself to say what I did) was last week. I was less than 5 weeks. I have cried every day, but it's eased up some in the last few days. My situation is much different than yours, but the pain and loss are the same. I wasn't strong enough to stand up to Marie's Daddy. This is what he wanted. Marie. He named her during the 2 hours he tried to be happy about her. Having a name to call her helps me. I've done some research on the internet and it's said that having a name and a memorial service can help bring closure. Marie's Daddy (who broke up with me a week before we found out) has been supportive of my need to express my pain and hurt to him. I'm going to ask him soon to go with me and bury her with my Grandfather and Greatgrandfather, and pray with us. Maybe you can meet with your ex and talk (or pray if you're inclined). Maybe talking to him will help your feelings to settle. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Oh honey, you're not alone. We're here for you. Have you tried any way to bring closure to your pain? My Medical (Induced Misscarriage, because I can't bring myself to say what I did) was last week. I was less than 5 weeks. I have cried every day, but it's eased up some in the last few days. My situation is much different than yours, but the pain and loss are the same. I wasn't strong enough to stand up to Marie's Daddy. This is what he wanted. Marie. He named her during the 2 hours he tried to be happy about her. Having a name to call her helps me. I've done some research on the internet and it's said that having a name and a memorial service can help bring closure. Marie's Daddy (who broke up with me a week before we found out) has been supportive of my need to express my pain and hurt to him. I'm going to ask him soon to go with me and bury her with my Grandfather and Greatgrandfather, and pray with us. Maybe you can meet with your ex and talk (or pray if you're inclined). Maybe talking to him will help your feelings to settle. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hey,<br />
<br />
I'm sorry to hear about the abortion that you had and how you are feeling at the moment. Trust me, I know as I had an abortion on December 17th 2010. I'm sorry to hear about the way your mother took control of the whole situation too - that must have been terrible:(. How are you feeling today? If you'd like to talk then just leave me a message. Hope your ok xx