I Had An Abortion
I had an abortion about eight and a half months ago, so my due date would have been around now. I could have been holding my baby in my arms right now instead of posting this. I wrote that I was fine after my abortion and that was absolutely the truth. Their were complications shortly after I made that post. I had a very painful infection and I'm allergic to penicillin so it was very scary. With the physical pain a sudden rush of emotional pain came over me too.
I didn't feel guilty, just sad. I felt scared that I might be abandoned by my partner, because I felt like I might have abandoned my baby. It was a very hard time because I was also dealing with the death of my grandfather and the murder of my cousin (from earlier in the year) and subsequently the childcare battles for my nephew (my family were fighting for care, not me personally). Overall it was a very difficult time and very stressful, so I'm not completely sure how much of the sadness I can attribute the the abortion alone.
However, although it did hurt, physically and emotionally and I still think about my baby girl (I felt like she was a girl) I DO NOT regret my abortion. The experience has made me a stronger person, it has strengthened my relationship with my partner incredibly and even now when I think about how I could be holding my baby girl right now, I know that I made the right decision. If I had her now I could not care for her, I would not be financially or mentally stable and I could definitely not give her the life she would deserve.
I read a lot of stories on here before my abortion about people who desperately regretted theirs around their due dates, so I wanted to post that I am a person who has felt the post-abortion pain, physically and mentally and I am still absolutely certain that it was the right decision. Everyone's response is different, whether you hurt or feel nothing at all, there is nothing wrong with you. It's a difficult decision, but life does go on afterwards.
I didn't feel guilty, just sad. I felt scared that I might be abandoned by my partner, because I felt like I might have abandoned my baby. It was a very hard time because I was also dealing with the death of my grandfather and the murder of my cousin (from earlier in the year) and subsequently the childcare battles for my nephew (my family were fighting for care, not me personally). Overall it was a very difficult time and very stressful, so I'm not completely sure how much of the sadness I can attribute the the abortion alone.
However, although it did hurt, physically and emotionally and I still think about my baby girl (I felt like she was a girl) I DO NOT regret my abortion. The experience has made me a stronger person, it has strengthened my relationship with my partner incredibly and even now when I think about how I could be holding my baby girl right now, I know that I made the right decision. If I had her now I could not care for her, I would not be financially or mentally stable and I could definitely not give her the life she would deserve.
I read a lot of stories on here before my abortion about people who desperately regretted theirs around their due dates, so I wanted to post that I am a person who has felt the post-abortion pain, physically and mentally and I am still absolutely certain that it was the right decision. Everyone's response is different, whether you hurt or feel nothing at all, there is nothing wrong with you. It's a difficult decision, but life does go on afterwards.
By:
JaneKi
Age:
18-21
4
responses
