My Abortion Left A Mark Forever In My Life

Well this is my story..I was only 20 and I had been dating my bf for about 3 years when I found out I was pregnant. Before I had confirmed my pregnancy me and my so called boyfriend had been arguing and we had left each other but that same day I took a test and well it came out positive. I texted my boyfriend telling him that I was pregnant so he wouldnt think that it wasn't his since we had stop talking. The first thing he said to me was that that was a stupid way to keep him in my life. He took this as if I had gotten pregnant purposely so he wouldn't let me go. But no he was wrong. He told me to abort right away I told him I couldn't do such thing because it was my baby, our baby but yet he refused to keep it. I stopped talkin to him and told him I wasntgonna need anything from him that I could do it all on my own but he insisted for me to have an abortion. He started threatening me saying that he was then going to join the army and that he was already going to file the child support and I was only about 6 weeks. I never thought he would react this way. I was very happy but when he said all he said it was like the entire world was collapsing on me. I felt useless, lonely and really hurt. I loved him at the time but I was going to chose my baby over him. I stopped talkin to him and he would look for me and kept telling me I needed to abort because we were not ready for a baby, that there was no way he was going to finish school nor that I was going to finish school, I told him that if many other couples could do it we could too but really the thing was that he didn't not want to have a baby with me. He insisted for about two weeks to abort and said he would pay for the procedure and still I wasn't sure. I didn't know what to do. I really wanted to tell my mom but I never did. Till this day she doesn't know about my abortion. He finally convinced l me to get the abortion done. We went together to planned parenthood and as soon as we entered the building tears were running down my face. I know he noticed but he didn't say not even one word. I was called inside took a pill and was then taken for an ultrasound, I saw my baby but it was too late now I cried the entire time I was inside and till this day I regret it. I can not live my life without thinking about the mistake I made and it hurts me to my heart when I see babies or pregnant women mainly when they are with their husbands. I am still with my boyfriend but I resent him so much. Now I think I should've just left him and kept my baby.
Lygsaldana Lygsaldana
1 Response May 5, 2012

I am sorry you are struggling. If you want, you can try going to a pregnancy resource center for help, as they offer free counseling to post abortive women. If you feel the abortion was a mistake, then know that we all make mistakes and we all have regrets. I personally find it better to not dwell on the past too much, but rather, to focus on not making the same mistake again in the future. I hope you are able to recover from this experience. Best of luck to you.