You'll Be Okay....

I was 18, when I had an abortion. I was madly in love with my boyfriend of 3 years. When I discovered I was pregnant, I was scared but ecstatic. My boyfriend was elated. I brought baby items and the "What to expect...."
Book. We made plans To get married and move in together. It may seem wrong to ever thank God for the termination of a pregnancy but I do. I thank God everyday for my mother, who immediately noticed my fuller breasts and widened nose. She begged for me to tell her the truth and when I finally did... She was devastated for me. Now my mother and I have never been really close but on that day, we bonded. She always made a point to remind me that it was my body and that it was indeed MY CHOICE, however she gave me a very real list of reasons why I should not continue with my pregnancy. I applaud young girls who make the official sacrifice and choose to keep their babies. I really do.... But I chose not to and to be completely honest it was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. Of course, breaking the news to my boyfriend was the hardest thing I'd ever done. He was heartbroken, but it was my body and it was my choice. It couldn't bring another soul into this world just to make him happy. How irresponsible would that be.... I went to the clinic with my mom by my side. I was petrified. When the nurse did the sonogram and told me i was having a boy, my heart broke into a billion pieces. Once the procedure was done I remember sitting in the recovery room with a bunh of women, all much older than me. I sat back and listened in horror as they swapped stories about multiple abortions and actually laughed about it! Who does that?!

Living with my decision was so hard for me. My dynamic between my boyfriend and myself eventually changed. We would only continue to date for another year before he would eventually cheat on me with one of his co workers. Most importantly though, I became incredibly depressed (which is probably why he cheated lol). Everytime I saw a woman with a baby I wanted to die. I yearned to hold my baby in my arms. I ate my way through my depression so i gained about an extra 30 lbs. I once had a job interview at a toy store and broke down crying before I had a chance to introduce myself. I was a wreck.

I wanted to tell my story because I want you to know that it gets better. Going through an abortion is Going to be one of the hardest things you ever go through BUT you will get through. I'm 30 now. Happily married with two amazing boys (3 yo and 5 mos) and I suspect I may have another on the way. My ex boyfriend? We still keep in touch via fb. He's the proud father of a beautiful little girl and is expecting twins. This experience, is just that... An experience. It does not define you. It will hurt at times but that's ok. The pain makes you human. Take this moment and LIVE. You'll be okay....
PrietaReigna PrietaReigna
26-30, F
5 Responses May 5, 2012

I'm thankful that I had a choice to terminate my pregnancy as well. SO thankful. I have no desire to have children, ever. My contraceptive failed, and I should not be forced to have a baby because of that. <br />
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And to the adoption advocates...why don't YOU adopt? Instead of "trying to conceive" for years, just go adopt. Or hell, don't "try" at all, and just choose to adopt regardless of your fertility. Exactly. You want your OWN baby. That's why there are TONS of kids floating around in foster homes. Because there aren't enough people that want to adopt. No woman should ever be penalized by being FORCED to have a baby because your uterus isn't fertile. That's not my fault. Good day.

And also? I'm married. NOT EVERY MARRIED COUPLE WANT CHILDREN.

Ya know... It may have been in poor taste to thank God for my procedure but I will say that I meant every word in my post. I am thankful for my right to make decisions about my body. When I had the abortion, I lost a part of my soul. I still struggle with my decision every day. By no means am I saying that abortions are amazing, nor am I saying that they are awful. It was not a pleasant experience but it was the best option for me at the time. <br />
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I was a kid when I had the abortion. A child. I was not financially stable and i was mature enough to raise a child. I acted like an adult when I chose to have sex and consequently had to make an adult decision. It is what it is. To the self righteous teenager who goes by the name of wetpants lol.... My mom has worked in the social service field for many years. I've heard so many stories of foster children being abused and receiving inhumane treatment. Adoption was not even a consideration for me. To answer your last question, wetpants, I plan to share all of my experiences with my children when they are of age. I would not want my children to make the same mistakes I've made. <br />
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I didn't write this post to be lectured about decisions I've made 12 years ago. I wrote this post for girls who share the same experience and feel as desolate and heartbroken as I did. I wish I had access to a forum like this at that time. I thinks it's disgusting that there are people who claim to know God and have completely forgotten that he is the one and only judge. While you sit in your glass home,cyber bullying vulnerable women, please know that you will have to answer to him one day just as I will...

*correction: ....I was not mature enough to raise a child.

that is terrible... you thank God for abortion??? God hates abortion. It is an abomination. Children are a gift from God and if people would stop having sex before they get married,then they wouldn't get pregnant. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing between a married man and woman. God created it this way.

My abortion was extremely difficult too. Now I'm pregnant again and even though the future is uncertain I know I can provide for him or her, not like when I was 19. My child is going to have a good life, and my abortion was something I had to do to make a better life for myself and my child.

One of the best decisions you ever made in your life?... I... don't even know what to say to that... Looking at your kids today, how can you even think that? What if you'd have done it again and never had them? I'm horrified by this story.

**** you. My abortion was one of the best decisions of my life. I'm pregnant now and can give my baby everything it could need, and a loving father. My abortion saved me from being permanently tied down to a person like you, a person who tried to kill me for having my abortion. Do you think that's a good father for a child? Is that a good environment for a child that a would-be murderer would be one of their parents?

**** you. I had an abortion because I love my children, so much that I will wait to have them. The life I'm giving my child is full of possibilities, and not intolerant extremists.

You loved your children so much, you killed them. Makes perfect sense. There are people who would do anything to have a child, but physically can't. Someone who will love them and be able to provide for them. Never heard of adoption? Why are people trying to do God's job? He decides who lives and who dies.

Of course, I suppose murder is certainly more convenient than adoption...
I have a question. No disrespect intended, honestly. Do you plan on ever telling your other children what you did? How do you plan on justifying it? They'll think, "Hmm. That could have been me."

And how many children have you adopted?

I plan on adopting a few when I can. I'm seventeen and financially unstable at the moment. I already know I can't have children due to an ovarian disorder which runs in my family. It's a miracle I was able to be born; my mother and I both almost died during labor. So, to answer your question, none YET. The adoption waiting lists for infants, however, are miles long.

Maybe your ovarian disorder was a sign that you shouldn't have children?

Sorry you can't have kids, but what you think is best for you isn't best for everyone. Sorry you can't have kids, but don't take your bitterness out on women who can but don't want to at that point.

You're 17, you barely even have a concept of ownership over your body yet. Don't tell us adults what we can do with ours.

It's not what you're doing to your body... It's not your body you're destroying. It's the body of another human being. It's my opinion that you shouldn't have the right to decide to kill your children. I don't see how this isn't logical...

So the child had a would be murderer for a father and a child murderer for a mother but somehow you thing your better... I tried to not say anything but the dumb shhhhh that comes out of people's mouth sometimes sickens me I would prefer for everyone to stop making excuses about why they killed their child the time wasn't right I didn't have the money the baby daddy this I didn't have my own place blah blah blah woman who kill their child aren't thinking of there child's best Interest at all they are thinking of their own selfish selves that's it..anyone that takes a child life should never be able to conceive again and for those with multiple dead babies on their hand try keeping your legs closed for a change and stop blaming others for the reason you killed you hold because you will be judged for your actions not the father not your mother no one else else you want to be pro choice. Well you have it and you will also have to live with the consequences of your actions In this world or the next

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