Thank You All

Hi .. .. .. my name is rosa. im 21 years old i have a 9 month old son and i live with the father of my son my boyfriend, we meat in high school and i swear it was love at first sight. we have been together for 5 years and have been liveing together for almost 2. i moved in the night i tolled my dad i was pregnet with my son. It has been realy hard for us because we live in a one income family and we can bearly make ends meet, we have to constantly ask our familys for help. I hate not beeing abole to give my son everything he needs and waching my boyfriend struggle to suport us. win i was pregnant with my son i was so sure that an abortion was the right thing to do, i did not want to disapoint my parants and bring a chilled into an unstable relashonship more then that a world were we could not give him everything he needed and more. My mined was made up and I had the date set it was the monday after christmas it was early morning like 6-7am and win we got there it was closed for some resoen i took that as a sing from god and dsited to keep my son.
Yesterday i found out i am about 2months pregnant with another baby, and i feel i know i should not have this one. We are struggeling so hard to rasi this baby as it is and makeing it on our own and we still come up way to short. we dont have the best relashon ship and fight a lot. Im trying to rais a baby and finish high school whill doing what i can to hepl us git by. I have all ready put my son thrugh way more then i ever wanted him to go thrugh and i dont want to do this to some one ells. I feel like haveing this chilled would be the wores thing fot it my son and us. But at the same time i feel bad for wanting to go thrugh with this, i tryed tlooking for help and all i keept seeing was pepole teling me what im doing or thinking of doing is wrong and im going to hell and this and that. This is the first page iv founed with woman who understand me and are very helpfull and make me feel like im not a horible person. Thank you so much for helping me figer things out and i would love to hear from any one who is willing to talk to me.
in realy need of some help, rosai
rosai rosai
2 Responses May 8, 2012

There is NO reason to ever have to tell your 2 year old about having an abortion. Hence him asking you about aborting his potential sibling is moot.<br />
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While adoption is always used as the opposite of abortion, it's not. Most likely a pregnant woman who is considering abortion can not and/or doesn't want to carry the pregnancy to term. It doesn't really matter the reasons (health, money, desire) etc. There are so many kids that NEED adopting now, yet that doesn't stop obsessive women for trying to conceive for years, experiencing numerous miscarriages that they name and grieve. If adoption was an option even 25% of couples considered, there would be a lot less kids floating around foster homes. The desire for women to bear their own children outweighs those that simply want a child even if they don't share blood.<br />
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As I've told you in a private message, abortion is a big decision. And it's one you have to come to on your own. A lot of women DO NOT regret their decision. I don't.

Hi Rosai, I can offer you the best advice I can think of. If you disagree and wish not to take it, that is completely fine too.<br />
First of all, try to relax. Calm down. You are going to be fine. Lots of other women have been in this type of situation before and have ended up completely fine.<br />
Second of all, try to think about what your concerns are, what your boyfriends concerns are, and what would be best for your children. Think carefully, as I do not recommend trying to rush a decision that millions of women have regret rushing. <br />
Third, do not let anyone pressure you into an abortion, as many women regret giving into an abortion that others wanted them to have.<br />
Fourth, you can try going to a pregnancy resource center for help, as they offer free financial assistance, adoption options, as well as counseling. Even if you pick abortion, they should still be willing to help, as they offer free counseling to post abortive women, and may be able to offer you financial assistance to help you take care of your other child who is already born. <br />
Fifth, please do not assume any one option is better than any other for your already born child. Choosing abortion may give him more money, but will also deprive him of a brother or sister. In the future, it is possible he will question why you did not abort him. I do not know which would end up being better for him in the long run. You are the one in the situation not me. <br />
I hope this helps you. If you want, you can try sending me a message on this site, or you can reply to this post here if you wish to talk to me more. Best of luck to you.