Please Help

Im 23 an have been with my partner five years we have a two year old son who was unplanned about three weeks ago we had a slip up and I am now five weeks pregnant again my partner has made it very clear he dosen't want another baby yet and when I told him I was pregnant he walked out side and came back in side five hours later and would not say a word to me I'm devestated and feel like I'm doing this alone he wanted an abortion with the first but I couldn't do it I was so emotionally attached and could not bring my self to do it I know I have to with this one I'm very early and know a medical abortion is a option but I don't want to tell anyone and doing this alone is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done I am gut wrenched and just need Somone to tell me it's ok and I am doing wats right. On the other hand we own our home and I work two days a week and am a stay at home to the most loved spoilt two year old we have a happy relation ship so y can't we bring another beautiful baby in to this :(! He dosen't want to and I don't want to force him to be a dad again I don't want to disappoint him and feel like I'm ruining his life ;( has anybody been in this situation wee they can provide the best for this baby but still took the abortion road? I'm so scared I will regret it and never be happy again after I've done it :(
CWBmummy CWBmummy
4 Responses May 13, 2012

I would not advise having an abortion because of what he wants. I have met many women who have had abortion because their partners wanted it, and they lived to regret the decision. <br />
If you do want help, you can try going to a pregnancy resource center for help, as they offer free counseling, adoption options, financial aid, and free counseling to post abortive women as well. They handle situations like this a lot, and would be happy to help you out. <br />
Good luck to you.

Does your partner love your two year old now? Even though at the time he didn't want you to have him, how does he feel about it now? <br />
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I'm sure he would feel pretty upset if you guys didn't have your baby around .. <br />
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You have the money and resources, so you're in a better position than a lot of other women. One of my biggest regrets is having my abortion because I was scared how I would provide for it, whereas some of my friends have gone on to have their kids even though they are in a worse financial situation than I am. That's what hurts the most. They still had the guts to have their kids whereas I didn't. :(

Some1whocares, u hit the nail on the head that is exactly the situation I am in I know we can provide everything this baby needs and more so much love and the most amazing life as my two year old has the only thing wrong is the timing we wernt ready yet and my partner was not ready yet i really feel like I massivly disappointed him buy getting pregnant again. Ur right that he will support me if I choose to have it but I do not want to force him to be a dad again that he dosen't want to be :(! He loves our son and is the best dad he or anybody could ask for but unfortunately this time I think is much different and I need do what's best for him even though I do feel it may effect the rest of my life :( thanks you for ur advice

Yes...first off, a good place to see how ab has affected people is<br />
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Now then...<br />
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Some people have had abs and not regretted them. I had an ab and I DID regret mine. At the time, hubby wasn't supportive and so I felt like I just wanted to get rid of the baby and get it over with, to show how loyal I was and what a caring wife etc, However, I felt such loss and regret later. When you are feeling pregnancy symptoms, and on top of that, the most supportive person in your life actually turns against you instead of being excited, you think you don't want the baby. But there is always the prospect of regret later. It's a tough situation to be in and it's not your fault. But you have to decide on a decision that will leave you with no regrets later. He WILL have to be supportive of you, as it will be his child, and if nothing else, he'll have a legal tie to it. Yes, you fear he will leave, but he can't completely leave. Whereas if you have an ab and regret it, you may always wonder what the child would have been like, and you may blame him. I feel like the innocence of my marriage was ruined when I had my ab. Hubbies do calm down eventually and get used to the situation if you have the kid. If you want, tell him you'll put the child up for adoption...then you may really see him care about the child. (And anyway, adoption is a better option if you decide to go that route.)<br />
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The fact that you are posting this here means you are on the fence. You know, there are always resources for a baby, always money to pay for one somehow. It's better than living with a regret. Your existing child won't lose out by having a sibling, but she/he may lose out if his/her mom is sad about the ab.<br />
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Some people have had an ab and ended up just fine. Just look into your heart.