I Had An Abortion

My Abortion

By: Rachie37

Written on May 13th, 2012

I found out I was pregnant on April 8th, 2012.
On April 13th, 2012, I had a surgical abortion.
I was 6 weeks, 5 days along. I am 16 years old, I have a wonderful supportive boyfriend who I have been dating for over 11 months now.
When I told my mom, I was pretty sure that I wanted to keep the baby. She wanted me to have an abortion, and so did my boyfriend's mother. However, they were supportive and they told me it was up to ME to make a decision.
My boyfriend also thought abortion was our best option.
I, however, only wanted what they wanted, and so we called an abortion clinic and had an appointment made.
I was so emotionally blank that I didn't even think about what was happening.
I didn't want to be there for myself. I did it for my parents and for my boyfriend and his parents.
i miss my baby every day. I don't know what to do.

By: Rachie37

Age: 16-17 , Female

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7 responses

pinkopal

I'm glad you at 16 found a place to express your feelings. Tho you made the right decision it is still and will be very difficult. I dont appreciate the comment made above about "big girl panties". You are a teenager and made a very adult decision that had a significant impact on your young life. I'm 29 had 2 abortions in my lifetime. My first was when i was 22 and dealt with it like it wasnt a big deal. I cared nothing about that abortion and went on with life. At 29 i had a second one 6 months ago and it was the most devastating experience i had ever gone through. So wearing "big girl panties" has nothing with age or emotion, its not realistic. Maybe and hopefully when time passes you will realize, as did I, that you just weren't meant to be a mother at this moment in your life. But your second chance will come, as will mine.

May 15, 2012
1 like
- Rachie37
  Thank you so much, that made my day. :)
  
  May 16, 2012
  1 like
MKM19

I can almost relate entirely. I had an in-clinic abortion 4 days ago. I Found out I was pregnant May 7th and May 10th it was gone. I didn't tell my mom. No one knew except for my boyfriend of 3 years. I'm only 19, with no way to support a child...But I miss him every day (I had a dream it was a boy). I cut myself off from emotions to get the job done and to "save" my life as well as my boyfriends but now it feels like I have nothing to live for. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and now, just because I wasn't ready and didn't think through what I needed to do, I let go of the one person that would have loved me no matter what for the rest of my life. I would do anything to have my baby back. Absolutely anything. Nothing can ever match the pain of losing a child, whether it's our decision or not. You aren't suffering alone...

May 15, 2012
1 like
- MKM19
  And if you EVER need someone to talk to, I'd be more than happy to listen...
  
  May 15, 2012
  1 like
- Rachie37
  I'm glad someone can relate. Thank you so much for everything you said, it honestly made me feel a lot better. I would love to talk sometime!
  
  May 16, 2012
  1 like
adventureolive

Even when an abortion is the best decision, it's still a hard decision, especially when you have to make such grown up decisions so young. It's normal to struggle a little bit, but it sounds to me like abortion was the best option all around for you and you made an informed decision. It feels bizarre for a while, but you will be okay in the end, especially when you're older and have children when you can give them the life you want to give them. And if you still struggle there are counselors and support groups to help you find peace with your decision.

May 14, 2012
2 likes
purpledeity

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time with your decision. But I'm going to be blunt here, so I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings more....But, it's done. There's no going back now. You went through with the procedure, so some small part of you knew it was best. You're young, and you have your entire life ahead of you now. Put on your big girl panties, and LIVE.

Hope this helps.

May 13, 2012
1 like

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