18 And Confused

I'm 18 years old, tomorrow is my appointment and I'm still debating. The only person who is pressuring me into it is the father. He said if i don't have it done he would ruin my life because he feels I am chosing this baby over him. It confuses me, I love this baby, I feel a bond... He says if this is done then I can wait 2 years a try again with him. Idk. I've never felt so confused, I want to be able to live my life but i feel like i lost all my friends and grew up extremely fast for my age...
bonjourlee bonjourlee
18-21
5 Responses May 16, 2012

I'd like to know if you had the abortion or not? I had an abortion for my then boyfriend twice and now he is my husband and all he talks about is the next two yrs we will try. Need I say he got another woman pregnant and i have to accept that it hurt me but i dont know if or when we will truly have a child.

Girl.. first of all dont let nobody decide this decision for you.. he dont love you if he did he would never ask you to choose between him and your baby. your worth more than to be with him.. do the right thing.. your baby deserves a chance!! dont take that away!!

I fully agree with the above posts. Having made the decision myself without pressure, I am already wondering if I did the right thing so I will urgenyou to ignore the pressures of the dad. Suggest you speak to your parents or someone older in the family. And hopefully they will be supportive of whicheverf decision you make. God bless.

Never have an abortion for someone else. It needs to be a decision made for yourself. That baby is part of you at the moment, only you can know if you are bonding with it, and how it might affect your life. He says he'll ruin your life if you have the baby .. he is doing that by giving you the ultimatum. If you have the abortion because of him you will always be asking yourself whether it was the right decision. You don't know whether you'll still be with him in the future, but you do know the baby is yours. It was his responsibility as much as yours to get pregnant; if he was not ready he should have been prepared. I'm so so sorry you're in this position. But please please make the right decision for you; for your life right now, for you financially, for your health, and for whatever the consequences would be with him if the baby goes ahead. <br />
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Also do not worry if you still have not made the decision when you get to the clinic. They do not pressure you. They want to be 100% certain before they perform the procedure for you, and they're very supportive afterwards.

I would not advise you into letting someone pressure you into an abortion you don't want. Many people are haunted by this decision for years. If you want, you can try going to a pregnancy resource center for help. They handle situations like this a lot, and offer free counseling, financial aid, adoption options, and counseling to post abortive women. <br />
I would recommend looking at this situation carefully, and not letting your partner's personal desires make you do something you regret. Good luck to you.