Confused

I'm 24 years old with two baby boys and had just found out I was pregnant, again. We live with my boyfriend's mom because he does not have a job at the moment and I'm still in school trying to get a better education for my family and get a good paying job once i get my degree. I was being cautious was using birth control (nuva ring), but after 2 years of using this method. I had forgot to put it in,so i remember one week later and i thought this was not going to be a problem after being on the nuva ring for 2 years that every thing was going to be okay.I thought the man I was dating for about 6 years and the father of my two boys was going to take care of me and his family, that we created, but it was complete opposite.when i found out i was pregnant again I just couldn't handle another baby, but when i got home and had told him, he did not hesitate right away he suggested on getting an abortion. My dreams of having a family and living happy went crashing down all around me,I had to get rid of my BaBy. Now 3 weeks later i feel depress, sad, mad, disappointed and at times when I'm alone i cry. Please do not judge me tell me what you think of my story. Thanks.....
lildiva lildiva
22-25, F
3 Responses May 18, 2012

Thanks everyone for the support i'm glad to hear i'm not alone

Hi there, sorry that you have to go thru this... <br />
Well, I have an apartment of my own, a good income but yet I too had the op due to various insecurities. So I can fully understand why you had chose to buckle under the pressures. Yes, I do feel remorseful and guilty but what's done cant be undone. Lets learn from our mistakes, move on and strife to be a better person. <br />
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Wannaberry, personally I don't think God punishes us when we seek forgiveness. Your cyst condition may well happen even if u had not done the ops. Or, the ops could have brought on that problem. If so, then it is a consequence of the ops and not cuz God is punishing you. Am sure that when God forgives, He forgives 100%. Just that we aren't spared from suffering the consequences. Glad it all turned out well for u :)

Hey I also had an abortion and I know it hurts really bad. But you have to keep your head held high and keep moving forward for your little boys. Its a decision that you chose to make, just own up to it. Never forget what you went throught but you have to let go. The pain I felt after going throught that abortiong was horrible menatally, emotionally, and physically it still pains me to this day. A couple moths following the procedure, I was in extreme pain, there was a cyst on my right ovary that grew into a tennis ball sized turmor. I had to undergo emergency surgery to remove my right ovary and fallopian tube. The left me with little to no chance to concieve in my future. I was devistaed but convinved myslef that it happened for a reason and that God was punishing me for choosing the "easy" way out. Which is not easy at all,the pain of an abortion is much harder than raising a child. Either way I would always ask God for forgiveness. A couple years later I became pregant with my little boy. He was a surprise but he was born healthy and happy. God forgives you, he forgave me. Now we just have to figure out how to forgive ourselves. Its gonna take some time for sure. But I think God sent us our boys to help us along the way. You are not alone.