Abortion At 12 Weeks-full Of Regret And Guilt

OK my names daisy i have 3 kids and i had 1 miscarriage and 1 abortion. My abortion was on may.16.2012..i went in for my appointment and did all the paperwork my fiance went with me they called my name and then asked me a ton of questions they took blood from my finger and did and ultra sound i was 12 weeks pregnant ..i looked down to see the picture and there he was i saw his face i should have ran out of there i knew it in me i was doing the bad choice...anyways i got dressed in a gown and next thing you know im in a room where they stuck an iv in me last thing i rember was the doctors saying we will take good care of you...when i woke up from my anestisia i was confused little by little reality started 2 hit me i had an abortion im no longer pregnant i cried next to me where girls that where still asleep from the anesthesia they where in there beds..i cried and cried and then the nurse walked me to my fiances car...i didn't speak to my fiance i cried all the way home...my choice was selfish i waited too long 12 weeks i keep googling images i cant stop thinking about this choice...will god forgive me i dont think so but i think that baby is in heaven and my biggest punishment will be this i guess to live in regret and guilt...i wake up feeling empty my body changes and everything it just really got to me :( its only been 2 days since the abortion and i notice when i go pee i see reddish tissue come out is that normal?? well this is my story i plan to move forward and forget this i will never ever in my life do this again..
daisyRam13 daisyRam13
18-21, F
6 Responses May 18, 2012

I just had an abortion myself and didnt realize i was 12 weeks along i thought i was only 2 or 3 at the most. i saw my baby in the sonogram for the first time right before my abortion. I didnt know what to expect going into it and now i feel absolutely terrible. I killed my baby, my first baby. It has been haunting me and i cant seem to get past this... i feel like i have no right to live just like i gave my baby no right to live either... im trying to be strong but my regret and sadness are swallowing me. i need help and advice please..

i wish you all the best and its been 1 week i feel emotionally better physically im getting better still some cramping tho..

Lostapart, did the doctor tell you how it was done? I only know about vacuum aspiration or dilation and curette.

no they did not tell me i rather not know ive heard some scaru stories that just makes me more guilty :/

Cavamebri.. I asked so many questions.. I needed answers. All I know is that they put me under "Twilight sedation" I dont like to say how it had been done but they outline the fetus then use vac asp to remove it then a curette was done to be sure everything was gone.. then given 1 anti-biotic in case of infection.

I know how you feel. I had my abortion a 3 weeks ago and I have never cried so hard in my life. I before this - have never fallen pregnant and never believed in abortion. When I found out I told my boyfriend at the time, he came out and confessed he was married and had a child and ran off to another state, turned off his mobile and I never heard from him again. You're lucky you have support from your Fiancee, I called my sister to take me to the clinic, it was heart wrenching because all the other ladies at the clinic came with their partners and I felt for some of them because I could see in their eyes they wanted to keep theirs. I had no choice, no father and being at uni, no financial stability. I am religious and feel so bad at times, when I study I have mental blocks and think what my life would of been if I had kept it. But you have to tell yourself everyday that God still loves you and your decision was yours because it was the best thing to do at them time.

Just 4 peace of mind I had also googled abortion images and procedures it destroyed me seeing what and how they did it but I knew if this was how it was done I wasnt going through with it.. before the surgery I asked the doctor and she said thats not how it's performed, it's only anti-abortionists that gruicify the images just because they are against abortion.

Its the hardest thing ever to go through in life.. I also had an abortion a month ago. <br />
The painful memories will never fade. I also regret my decision and found it unbearable to deal with, Ive wondered if anyone up above will forgive us but they say if u ask for forgiveness god will forgive.. but I dont know. U gotta be strong! U have a family who needs you! Unlike myself, I had no choice but to give up my 1st unborn. I had a 4 hr trip home after my abort and I 2 felt empty like someone has taken apart of me. But the spirit lives on forever! I had a surgical termination as for the red tissue the dr told me u may get some bleeding it's only part of the post-operative aftermath.. but if you have alot of it I'd give the clinic a call.