A month after my 21 st birthday I found out I was pregnant. I am a full time student in a university and I work in the restraunt business, I study and work so much there is little time for anything else. I cant be a mother yet, i just cant, im still a kid myself. An abortion was my only option. My bf and I both cried and stressed over our decision, but we both decided it would be the best for us. And given our current situations we couldn't give a baby the kind of life it would deserve. I am still confident with this decision. I told only my mother about this and she supported my decision. But I still feel so alone. I can't talk to my bf, I mean I can but I can't really describe the pain I am feeling. I don't know what To do... I cant help but feeling selfish… I came here for help, support, and any help I can get.
Dazzle21 Dazzle21
4 Responses May 21, 2012

What's done is done and there's no going back, but abortion was NOT your only option. I'm so sad no one told you that. You went to the wrong place to have your abortion. Many now show you the child you have in you. It was a tiny person with all the abilities of living an unbelieveable life. I'm so sorry you didn't have the right people around you to inform you of your real choices. ADOPTION is wonderful. I'm a mom because my son's first mom decied to let her heart walk outside her body. My son is almost 13. He's the most amazing person on this earth. I thank his first mom daily for her strengh on going through the 9 months then handing him to me and my husband. You'll never get over what you did. It was your child. The painful feeling will lession, but the past will always there. I might suggest you be there for your friends when this situation happens to them. EVERYONE needs to know ALL the OPTIONS before they make such a life changing decision. Blessings on your future. Be a great student! Change the world!

Well we are here to support you. That's what EP is for. It's so strange to say you're getting an abortion for the sake of your child. But that's what it is most of the time. I feel that most women who get abortions do it because they know they can't give their babies a good life. When I had my abortion, my potential child was looking at poverty, poor education, a violent father with religious delusions and severe emotional instability, and probably even abuse at his hands, and eventually emotional issues of his or her own. <br />
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I am pregnant now, 5 years later. I have an amazing boyfriend who shares the same morals and beliefs as me, an education, and a good job, and I'm financially and emotionally prepared to have a baby. I always knew that when I had my abortion, this was the future I wanted for my child. My abortion was the most loving and selfless thing I could have done as a mother.

Hey Dazzle, my circumstances were very similar to yours, I was 18, a full time student and working as a waitress, I had only been with my boyfriend for six months at the time I fell pregnant and I had the same reasons as you for getting an abortion. The choice is monumental, especially being so young and it is difficult to come to terms with. I went through depression, which lasted a looong time and I got a dog and went to counselling (the greiving process does funny things). It took me a long time to be able to talk to my boyfriend about- it was probably the roughest stage of our relationship, we nearly broke up multiple times, I was so absorbed in my own feelings of loss that I had failed to take his into consideration. Anyway, it's been four years since then, and all I can really say to you is that the only thing that heals the pain that you're going through, is time. Don't be so hard on yourself, you made the right decision for you. Committing the rest of your life to raising a child is epic, but when you are ready to be a mother it will feel right and you will be great at it. Try opening up to your bf, don't shut him out- he is most likely going through the same thing as you, you are also so lucky to have a mum to confide in, you should tell her what you are going through. At 22, I look back and I am grateful for the choice that I made- but it took me a long time to get to this point. My bf and I managed to make it through that aweful, aweful period and we are now engaged. So I guess all I'm really trying to say is 1. give it time 2. Talk it out 3.Remind yourself of why you made your choice. You are going to be ok, girl:-)

I can't tell you what to do. I just know that I didn't want children (ever) and when my contraceptive failed, I never thought twice about what I was going to do. (My husband never wanted children either.) If you KNOW this is best for you, you won't regret it. And you can't let anyone talk you into or out of an abortion. YOU have to make this decision for YOU and no one else. Good luck!