Advice Needed

I was seeing this guy for a while and was completely happy until some complications happened and we stopped seeing each other. We started talking again last summer and I got pregnant when he moved out of the state. I am in my teens and knew there was no way I could keep the child, so I had an abortion. After it happened I didn't really feel anything emotional until recently. It's been so hard to deal with and I've been a mess. I feel like I should tell him seeing as he's back in town now but has it been too long? Should I tell him? I haven't spoken with him since he's returned home. I want his support but I feel like it's too late. What do y'all think? Please help.
aswartzman123 aswartzman123
18-21, F
1 Response May 24, 2012

I think that you should tell him... it's not good to keep things in like that. You obviously need some closure, and you were wise to consider the reality of having a child at that age; and that it simply was not feasible. We are always right where we should be in life, and whatever choices we make? Are the right choices. It's normal at first to block something like this, as you said, "I didn't really feel anything emotional until recently". It's our brain's way of getting us through the tough stuff in the moment, but as you know, it comes back around. And it's always really hard to forgive OURSELVES, other people aside.<br />
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Just don't have too many expectations if you do decide to tell the father. Men process things differently, and maintain their emotions differently than women do. I'd hate to see you feel even more devastated if he seemed indifferent or flippant to the news. Knowing he's in town has no doubt also triggered new emotions for you as well; let's face it, he's a 'reminder'. But it really sounds like you need to get it off your chest... win, lose or draw.

I told him and it couldn't have gone any better. I feel so relived. How he reacted was the best case scenario. He was freaked out, obviously, but was so supportive. He just wanted to make sure I was okay and felt so bad for having put me in that situation. Anyone who may be reading this and is in the same situation I was in, TELL HIM. Even if he reacts horribly, you will feel like a new woman. I feel refreshed and like I can finally finish this chapter in my life.

Awwww... sniff. That's amazing news. Peace and love to you.... 'Closure' is a wonderful thing!