I'm Torn.I just turned 30, so I feel that I should be in a position to have another child. I have an 11 year old son, whose father has passed away, and I have been a single mother his entire life. It has been incredibly difficult, but despite having my son at age 19, I managed to graduate from college, and I am now a teacher and somewhat successful in both my personal and professional life.
I have also had abortions- when I was quite young (just 14) and in my 20's. Luckily, I never suffered any guilt or regret or emotional trauma after the fact with those abortions.
I am currently 6 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been together for about six months, and although we have a good relationship, I don't know what I want to do. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I felt trapped. Trapped in this relationship, trapped in my circumstances, trapped and unable to continue to pursue MY life and MY dreams and MY goals. Selfish, I know, but that's how I feel. I have been agonizing over what to do. Luckily, my boyfriend (35 and with a 5 year old daughter of his own), is extremely supportive and is behind me 100%, no matter what I decide to do. My gut tells me to have an abortion and to continue focusing on my life and the life of my 11 year old son. But part of me thinks that I should have this baby... maybe it's my last chance? Or maybe I'll regret not having it? Or maybe I'm just a horrible, selfish person knowing that I could have this baby but that I'm choosing not to. Financially, it would be a burden, but more so, an emotional burden. I don't feel ready to be a mom again. I made an appointment for a medication abortion next week, just in case that's what I decide, I wanted to be prepared. Please, I would really appreciate any words of support or encouragement during this very difficult time for me. Thank you, and if you're in a similar situation and debating what to do, my thoughts are with you as well.