I Can't Get It Out Of My Head....

I had an abortion in January 2012. I went to the doctor to see what was going on (I have RA) and thought I was having an episode. The doctor came back in and said i was 10 weeks and 2 days. I was so happy but in a matter of seconds the doctor told me that if I kept the baby me or the baby would have complications at birth or during the pregnancy. I asked how bad and it was bad. The doctor left the room and came back in within 5 minutes. He asked how I felt about abortion and I told him I was against it. He said that if didn't do this my body would and it would get worse. I laid back back and had the abortion. I didn't cry till the doctor left. I wanted to call my husband but couldn't find the words. I went home showered and cried. I finally told my husband 3 weeks later. I felt like a piece of sh** for doing it. I get over and still cry time to time. I can't let it go that i did that to my baby...
Candy30 Candy30
3 Responses Jun 17, 2012

I know how you feel. I feel so guilty because right now I am going through an etopic pregnancy and had to have a MTX shot it is awful I had to kill my baby so I could live I couldn't carry it to term because my tube would burst and both me and baby would die and this is my first pregnancy i'm only 18 my husband and I are so sad my baby is gone I wanted my baby so much but are babies are both in heaven now maybe they are friends waiting for us to get there and no better place to be then walking on streets of gold playing and laughing are babies are in good hands the hands that made us. Your husband was just shocked and surprised just pray together and talk it will make you guys stronger as a team.Ill pray for your health so that you can carry a baby without any complications to your health or your child's health. Maybe the doc can help you to find out if there is anything you can do to help your health during pregnancy. God bless you!

Thank you for the support. I told him I needed to talk so someone and let everything out. And this is the place to do it!!! And yes our beautiful babies are in haven playing and waiting for us to come and join them. And we finally talked and he let everything out and so did I!!!

I'm glad to hear it God bless you guys!!!:)

Thank you so much. I guess it just hurts I want to be a mother more than anything. Every time i look at my stomach I am remined of what happened. Yes time does heal all wounds I just wish it didn't happen. I talk about and feel sick. I pray every night for forgiveness and for my husband too. He was devastated. He didn't talk to me for 3 days.

You will be ok i'm so sorry you are going through this. Time heals all wounds not completely but it will become less painful I will pray for you. I would suggest praying leaning on God he loves you and cares for you and how you feel he loves you so much he sent Jesus to die for you so you could have eternal life with him in heaven. If you have guilt ask for forgiveness he will forgive you he loves you we all make mistakes nothing that is beyond forgiveness.If you need me I am here. God bless you I pray peace for you during this time.