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The Right Choice

This is my story, its alittle long but this was the most difficult decision of my life!  I struggled with the decision to abort or not abort for 5 weeks and although I miss my baby dearly, I know I made the right decision for the situation I'm in.  I hope that this helps someone in a similar situation.  Thank you for the oppertunity to tell my story.


 


Everything was so perfect in my relationship with my boyfriend.  I thought I had finally found the best man ever, he had a son, he accepted my 2 kids, and we were so perfect for eachother.  Then disaster struck...I missed my period.


I found out for sure that I was pregnant with my 3rd baby on Halloween.  I wanted to tell my boyfriend in a very gentle way because i knew he would flip out over the news.  The telling didnt go to planned and i ended up giving him the paper from planned parenthood and running from the room in tears.  He was not at all receptive of the news of being pregnant again (we'd been together at this point for 3 months and already had one pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage.)  and he packed all his things that were at my house and I drove him home later that night. 


We began to fight all the time and he became very distant from me in the weeks that followed.  I am not a good talker to begin with and every time I would try to talk to him about the baby and what we should do he would flip out on me and begin telling me about how this baby would ruin his life and he did not want it.  It seemed like he was only concerned with himself and his feelings.  He almost never said anything about how this would affect us or me, only him. 


About one week after finding out I was pregnant I gave him a letter about all my thoughts and feelings about the baby and the pros and cons of keeping it and having the abortion.  I said that I would have the abortion up to 10 weeks and I guessed that we would have until just after thanksgiving if we decided that would be best. 


Well, I began to bleed a week and a half before thanksgiving.  I called the doctors office and said that i was pregnant and I was having mild cramping and mild bleeding.  They had me come in to the office and did an exam later that day and everythign was normal for what was thought to be a 6-7 week pregnancy.  She scheduled me for an ultrasound and that was 110% normal too.  We discovered at that time that the pregnancy was already at 9 weeks and 6 days!!!  I cried right in the ultrasound room.  I was going to be a mom again if i didnt miscarry and it wasnt looking like that would happen.  I kept bleeding for another week, I was inthe doctors office everyother day for blood work to test my hormone levels and I had a second ultrasound that determined i was 10 weeks and 4 days.  Everything with the baby was fine, no miscarriage.  I told him that I was too far along, over 10 weeks, and I would not kill my baby.  He was going to be a daddy again wether he liked it or not. 


This really upset him and we didnt talk for a few days, and when we did we fought.  I was blamed for destroying his life and forcing him to be a dad for the second time.  He said that I was on my own because he has no time anymore because he has to work like 24/7 now to survive.  He bacame very unreasonable and said some horriable things to me.  All I did was cry every time I was near him  because I still loved him so dearly...he was supposed to be perfect for me.


As the days went on I began to really analize what having another baby would do to my already struggling family of 3.  We live in an apartment in my parents basement.  I just went back to school at night 6 weeks ago.  I am struggling to find a job that will allow me to take care of the two kids i already have.  Daycare is soooo expensive, very few jobs offer it at a discount rate.  I fight with my parents all the time over dicipline and how to raise my kids because its 'their house.'  I thought that the decision to keep the baby would put my mind at ease but it made it churn more and more.  All I began to think about was how the hell could I take care of another baby when i can bearly take care of the 2 that i already have.


I changed my mind and told my boyfriend that I was going to have the abortion, simply for lack of finances.  His only responsibility was to get the money to do it and if we didnt do it by the end of the week the price was going up no matter where we went.  I made the appointment.  I cried while i scheduled and took down the instructions.  He didn't have the money so i cancelled it the morning of the appointment.  He wanted me to reschedule for the weekend but the weekend would be more money so i scheluled another appointment for the next morning and told him to get his butt to the bank and cash the paycheck.  He didn't and i had to cancel again.  He flipped out again and told me to simply reschedule again.  I didnt give him an answer and i didnt talk to him again for 2 days.  I was going to keep it, I was already at 12 weeks, its too late for me and too expensive to do by the time the weekend came. 


I decided that I couldnt keep this from my mom anymore and I showed her the 2 ultrasound pictures and told her I was pregnant.  She said that she thought so and asked me what I was going to do, keep it or not.  That was a shock because my mom has voiced her opinion of abortion before and she didnt agree with it, or so I thought.  I didn't know how to respond to her comment and she continued with, "I did that once ya know...When I was pregnant with my 3rd baby i was taking meds that could cause birth defects and your father did not want any more kids."  My jaw was on the floor.  "I didn't miscarry that baby, I had an abortion.  It was the best decision at the time and if you decide to have an abortion I will support you, I think it's whats best for you to do in the situation your in."  That was not what i expected her to say, I expexted her to FLIP OUT, not support me.  We talked about everything surrounding the pregnancy and keep it or not and with my mom behind me, I decided to make another appointment.  She offered money if he didn't have it and I told her that it is his responsibility to pay for it and if he couldn't than I was not going to do it.  I scheduled the appointment, one week from that day. 


That week was the worst ever.  everyday I couldnt help thinking, "One day closer to your death, I' m sorry but I have no other options, I'll always love you baby."  I cried dozens of times during that week, he just didnt seem to understand why I was as upset as I was.  We fought still, and I was preparing for him to let me down the day of the abortion. I was also preparing to break up with him after it was all over because of his lack of support.


He actually stayed over that Friday night (the night before) and was really supportive of my feelings .  I didn't sleep at all, not even a minute, and then alarm went off at 430am.  I sat up and stared at the fishtank across the room for 20 minutes, just staring. I finally took a shower and while i was printing out directions to the facility he came upstairs and we began to fight about how I was taking too long to get ready.  I was so mad at him and it was a 65 minute ride there.  He drove, I watched the trees pass in the darkness, we didn't talk much, we had to be there at 630am.  I didn't want him to touch me when we got there, I was still mad from the fight. 


Security checked us in and we sat and waited.  One tear fell, and then another, the tears just wouldnt stop.  I filled out the book of paperwork they gave me in tears and handed it to the lady behind the window in tears.  He kept telling me it was OK and I leaned against his arm and he stroked my hair.  "Its for the best" he said and looked at me almost teary eyed too. 


I cried during the ultrasound.  I cried while the nurse took my vital signs.  I cried when I counted the money to pay.  I cried when I talked to the counselor.  I cried everytime I talked to someone.  They were all amazing, and very supportive of the fact that i did not want to do this, I had to do it because of finances...I simply coundn't take care of the baby the way it deserves to be taken care of. 


I finally met the doctor.  Since I was officially over 12 weeks, 13 weeks and 1 day, I had to take 2 pills to dialate my cervix to get the baby out.  He was nice, saw me in tears and asked if I was OK with this decision.  I said I have to be, I cant take care of it financially.  Then the nurse handed me a paper to sign that said that these pills cause birth defects and if i take them I cant turn back without harm to the baby.  I signed the paper and she handed me two cups, pills in one, water in the other.  I just stared at the pills for what felt like eternity.  I thought, I could put this cup dowm and run from here and keep my baby.  I thought again and said, "I'm sorry baby" and swallowed the pills.  I cried hard before the nurse took me to a dim room with a movie playing and 4 other girls laying down, I had to wait an hour for the pills to work. 


They called me out to get changed a while later and I cried when I was changing into the robe and cap and booties I had to wear.  She said no jewelry but I couldn't be without my cross so I put it in my sock, the only clothing I could keep on.  I felt like I was waiting on death row or something, just numb, and not crying which was surprising. I was OK in that room, there was another girl there too who was in similar circumstances as me.  She said her main determining factor was the finances too. 


A nurse called my name and I went into the back.  As soon as i walked into the room where the abortion was going to happen I broke down and cried hard.  Through the tears I sat on the table and cried as they gave me instructions about how to position myself.  I cried as they put the IV in my arm and the pulse meter on my finger.  They preped me and the doctor came in.  He told me that I would be OK and to try to calm down just a bit.  I said that I was trying to stop crying but i can't.  I felt like i was in good hands when he said that I could cry all i wanted to and that was OK but I had to calm down just a bit because crying like that causes mucus and mucus causes dificulty breathing.  I calmed down a bit and blew my nose.  Thats when the doctor came over to me and said in such a wonderfully supportive voice, "Dont worry, it will be OK."  The anestesiologist asked if I was ready to go to sleep now and I said please god, knock me out. 


The next thing I remember is waking up in tears in the recovery room, tissue in hand covering my eyes.  I cried for 15 minutes or so while the nurses fussed over taking my vitals about a million times.  I watched as the girls in there got changed and left and new girls were rolled in to recovery.  I was so heartsick for my baby and I was upset that I had just , in my opinion killed an inocent life.  "I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry." is all I said as I cried.  After I calmed down I began to feel OK with what just happened, not at peace with it, but I knew I did the right thing.  I just watched the clock on the wall and watched the other girls in the room, and we all asked eachother if the other was OK.  It was somehow a relief to look at the girl in the bed next to you and know that she was feeling like you felt, and she understood. 


After I got changed and discharged I almost ran down the hall and out of the lobby, giving my boyfriend a nod to follow me.  In the parking lot I stopped and grabbed his arm and cried on his shoulder for a while.  He said in a sad voice i never heard him speak in "I wish you didnt have to go through all that, I'm sorry."  The way he looked at me and the way he spoke, I knew that it had affected him more than I thought.


Its been just 3 days since the abortion.  I still rather upset about it.  I miss my baby very much and i still love my baby dearly.  I am angry at the situation that I'm in and that I had to have the abortion; however, because the situation left me with no way to take care of another baby financially, I'm ok with the decision I made.  I have good moments and bad moments.  I cry alot over the loss of a baby that I would have welcomed if the money was there.  Someday I know I will be at peace with the abortion but for right now I take comfort in knowing that the baby won't suffer and it was the best decision that could have been made at the time.


 

haladj327 haladj327 26-30, F 63 Responses Dec 12, 2006

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Today I made the most hard and difficult decision of my life . I had an abortion this morning . I cry during the entire process . I felt like running out the clinic and keeping my baby . But at the same time reality slap me on the face . And I realize that I was already a single mom to my 7 year old boy since I was 15 . And I couldn't afford to be a single mom again . I dated the father of the baby that I was having for 8 months . Everything was good and I was happy with him . Until I found out that he was cheating with a coworker. When he found out that I was pregant he totally flip off . He wasn't supportive . He told me that I could do whatever I wanted . And at the end deep inside my heart I knew that I was gonna end up been a single mom for a second time , I'm curently working a full ime in the morning and planning to attend collage in the summer for nursing . I miss my baby and pray God for his forgives . And I also ask for my baby forgives . I know that I made the right choice even if it hurts .

How did u deal with it before u did it because I'm terrified im doing the wrong thing I have an apt to get an abortion on January 23rd and I'm terrified

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I cried and cried after reading this. I am currently in the same situation. I'm 3 months pregnant and have been so excited to have my baby until my boyfriend asked to look at other options because we can't afford another mouth to feed. It's killing me inside to even think of other options. Every time I try to tell him how I feel he either rolls his eyes or gets an attitude. I have nobody to vent about this. I just hope in the end I make the right choice.

I knew my boyfriend for 8 months exactly to the day. After 4 months we moved to a small mountain town with a population of nearly 50 people.

Once we moved, he began to come home drunk and abuse me both physically and verbally.

After I told him I was ready to leave he had convinced me that if we were to have a baby that everything would get better and he would never touch me in that way again.

Two months of trying and no baby later. And he was still coming home drunk 6 nights a week. I finally asked him to leave. I decided that bringing a baby into this unhealthy relationship was a bad idea.

A short 3 days later. And might I add it was thanksgiving night. He decided to send a bullet through his chest and take his own life.

Here I am almost 3 weeks later and come to find out I am pregnant with his child.

I'm facing the decision of abortion at an unnecessary time in my life.

I have owed anywhere from 45$ to 150$ my last few paychecks. Meaning I'm more than financially incapable to have a child. And to add on top the father of my child is gone forever.

I've never wabted to get married and I've never wanted my own children. And now I'm faced with the biggest decision in my life along with the must tragic experience so far in my life. At the very young age of ,19 yrs old.

So yes I am sorry baby. But for the sake of both yours and my future happiness and sanity I can't continue on to becoming your mother.

This means so much to me that you posted this. I'm 23 and I've been with my boyfriend for three years. Yesterday we found out I am pregnant. I'm early, maybe 3-4 weeks. Instead of happiness I cried because I knew we both can't afford a child. He lost his job, I'm a full time student and part time worker who makes very little.

I'm so torn because I know I should have the baby but i know we can't have it. We can't afford the baby, we can't give it the life it deserves. Thank you for sharing your expierence. I am trying to decide what to do and this allows me to know I'm not being as selfish as I thought and I'll hurt when I do it but my baby can understand

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I think that some of these responses are so sad to read for the women who has taken the time to share her story in order to help other people and to get some support.

I am in college and have recently found out i am pregnant. I am not ready for a baby, at all. I have only been with my boyfriend for 3 months and we were being very safe. I have never really considered abortion, because i didn't think it was right... but now it is me in the situation i have so much sympathy for the people who have actually had an abortion, it must have taken alot of guts!

my boyfriend doesn't think we are ready for a baby. I agree, but I don't know whether I will be able to go through it and have an abortion which is incredibly selfish of me because I know that my baby would not get everything it deserves, although my boyfriend has said if i decide to keep the baby he will stand by me no matter what. On top of that, I know alot of people simply say 'put the baby up for adoption'... but I couldn't do that. I know i couldn't. I could not give birth to what i'm sure would be our gorgeous baby boy or girl and give it to someone else... it would kill me to even think of it.

One thing i do wonder though, has anyone ever had trouble conceiving after having an abortion? because i do want kids in the future...

How can murder be the right choice?

Think outside the box...if your own mother was in a similar situation and in your conception you have the knowledge that you do now, would you be ok with your mother aborting you and not giving you at least a chance to go into the world?
I don't think anyone here can honestly say they would be ok not existing.

Well that's what you have done with your child, you didn't even give them a chance.

This forum is for people to try to condone what they have done, but it will never be undone and you will live with that demon for the rest of your life.

I would understand if my mother aborted me........I'd rather not go through the abuse I went through.......

I'm so sorry for that whole experience. I went through something very similar. You made the best choice that you made for you and your baby's life. A misconception that people have about abortion is that it's wrong, uncompassionate or irresponsible. The opposite is true; Sometimes it's the most compassionate and responsible thing someone can do, and it is right in many circumstances. The problem with the "pro-life" people is that they believe that being born is a wonderful gift, but the truth is, no one asks to be born. No one. And sometimes not ever being born is the better option for someone, especially if they will have to suffer poverty, or other terrible truths of life.

I hope you feel better,just be more careful the next time you have sex,try to be safer.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure that it touched a lot of people's hearts including mine. I had an abortion January 2nd and it was the best decision I made. I am a mother of a beautiful 2 year old daughter and know that I would not be the mother 5 years ago, like I am today. I am at peace with my decision. I am a good mother because of it.

Please ignore the negative comments. They don't know what an abortion is. How could they if they never had one, right? They want to make women who made this choice miserable. I sometimes laugh it off and move on. I may respond but what good would that do?

I see its been years since you wrote your story. I hope you are doing well and are healing from this. Please keep us updated. Again thank you.

Okay, bush

I agree. I posted in her story about the wait. Just waiting to here back.

To all of the people with the negative comments: You must be the most selfish, narcissistic and vain people on the planet to preach (actually, you're bullying and preying on these women) your religious, pro-life opinions on a site that is clearly here to support them through a really tough time. Shame on you. I am a 26 year old business student who was in a similar situation about a month ago when I found out I was eight weeks pregnant. Let me also clarify: I was using depo birth control (to which I later found out was not as effective due to my regular insulin doses) AND condoms. I have been with my boyfriend for two years and currently work two jobs. I could not physically carry a child without putting myself in grave danger. I was a student and not emotionally or financially ready for a child either. My decision to terminate my pregnancy was my own. My rationale was that the child would not receive the care that it deserved if I had continued with the pregnancy. Sure, there's adoption, but why would I risk my life to such great lengths for something that I would just give away? Yes, it's selfish, but that's life and it's logical.

Your decisions are your own, regardless of what the bible states. To continue with the rationale that a person should wait until marriage to event have sex is severely outdated. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce- what does that say for our next generation? I don't believe in marriage, does that mean I should be restricted from having sex? The nay-sayers on this site are clearly perfectionists as they are under the perception that all mistakes should be punished. The news is, to those who terminate a pregnancy, they are already coping with intense emotions, which is enough punishment in itself. Yes, mistakes happen. In reality, the average human makes millions of errors. The good news is that you LEARN from your errors. I don't think having an abortion is a way to justify mistakes- it is a reaction. It is legal, and I support and respect any woman with the courage to go through with it. To all of those lecturing us about our "mistakes", get off your high horse. We're human. Find a better hobby.

I'm currently about seven weeks pregnant, we used protection and the pull out method and I still fell pregnant, ironically waiting for my period so I could obtain an iud. I have a very loving relationship with my husband as well as a seven month old daughter and a four year old son. Were currently struggling while I'm going to medical school, working full time, and my husband has chosen to stay home with our baby so we save on daycare. I know it will be easier after school but now is not the time to have a baby. So I have made the decision to terminate my pregnancy. I have already tried abortion with my son, my first child but was too far along and then tried to have an adoption, I hand picked a family and resolved myself not to bond, that he belonged to someone else. He was born and every hormone in my body refused to hand him over. He was perfect and precious in every way, and scientifically women were never meant to hand our children to someone else. Needless to say I kept him. We produce chemicals like oxytocin that make sure we bond with our babies. However herbal abortions have existed since medevial times. In fact even in the times of jesus women would have herbal and trauma induced abortions. Needless to say if a woman did not want their pregnancy they found ways to end it. There is also NOTHING in the bible that says abortion is against God's will. Why would God put herbs, medicines, and the knowledge to end pregnancy if it is so evil? Medical abortions have saved countless lives and the d&c procedure is the same they use to remove miscarriages. Their are children in foster care in need of love who are already on this earth so why cast stones at someone who is doing the same as countless women before her, who is offering the chance for infertile couples to adopt a child already on this earth in need of love who was taken away from unfit parents that, most of the time did not consider what kind of environment they were bringing their child into, what kind of support they could offer their child. It is small minded and foolish to call a woman thoughtless and judge her for a decision that required more thought than most give credit for.

Hello hadaj327
I am writing this to tell you that you are a still a strong beautiful woman. Sometimes we have to make hard choices in life, and should not be ridiculed for them. I am sorry that some people have chose to judge you based on the decision you had to make. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find that peace someday.

You could give it away after birth. Not kill it.

Again this is not a group for people who feel the need to tear down other people selfesteem to make themselves feel better. This is a support group for women who have had to go through having an abortion. All you are doing is choosing to be a horrible person by judging someone by what they have done and not for who they are for that you are a ugly person and I hope one day you can see past your shallowness.

Another womans infertility has nothing to do with her unwanted pregnancy. Why should she give her baby over to couples too agest & racist to adopt from foster care?

Her unwanted pregnancy has nothing to do with another womans infertility. Women who give up their children will tell you that almost every woman who did lives a lifetime of extreme emotional upset & regret. Don't believe me? Find an adoption forum for first mothers. One that's not sponsored by an adoption agency.

Having sex = having kids. I should know I have 4. It would have been 5 but I miscarried that one. To each is own. But that is why there is something called birth control so people won't have to deal with things like this. Or how about The bible states we should marry first....It's not rocket science.

This group is for supportive women that have had and abortion.Not people like you. Seeing that you have lack of knowledge I will inform you ask any doctor birth control does not alway work I would know. If you are a women that ovulated twice a month it is not as affect as you are told initially. REAL truth take your temperature daily with a basal thermometer, any rise in temp means ovulation. Bible also states all can be forgiven, and god loves everyone.

I wonder why you criticize havinganotherbaby.She also need support. Basically, if everything goes well we all want to keep the child, right?So please be kind to people who love kids...else you won't exist cause you r aborted

People who love kids care enough to not have them @ times when they aren't prepared. 6/10 women who abort already have children. If I didn't exist, I wouldn't know. So who cares?!

Women who abort their babies do love their children. That is why many abort their kids. Out of love. They feel that emptiness and often times try to get pregnant again. This is a group to support women who had abortions. This is not the place to put down or judgewomen.

American women spend on average 30 years trying to prevent pregnancy. 54% of women who abort reported uding bc the month they became pregnant. (Cite:guttmacher). Mistakes happen. Can you do anything perfectly for 30 years?

The bible also says I should be killed because I wasn't a virgin when I got married. And it says that if you love Jesus you have to hate your parents. Cherry picking much?

Birth control doesnt always work you ignorant **** :) please keep your ****** opinions to yourseld

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Also for anyone who thinks that adoption is harder than murder isnt living in reality. At some point in your life you have to take responsibility for your actions. If your children get too expensive now will you just kill them, rather than put them up for adoption?

Just shut up. This woman wrote her story to have support which since you have none to give you should not be writing anything. You are ugly for choosing to not give the support someone needs but instead bring them down more. I would not doubt someone has commited suicide because of you, I only say this because obviously because your idea of support is the complete opposite.

same goes to you!!!

Anyone who advocates for a newborn adoption has no care or compassion for what that does to the mother. Abortion IS taking responsibility. Even if you don't like it. A ten minute procedure or taking a pill & passing the unwanted pregnancy are a lot less painful than handing over a baby to strangers to raise & pretend its their own for the next 18 years.

Having sex = having kids. You both have children so you both know the outcome of your actions. Why get online and cry about the baby you killed because you feel you could't afford it. Abortion is killing your child... Don't cry for the baby now, you killed it.

See above where I said,"American women spend on average 30 years trying to avoid unwanted pregnancy..."

im 24 been with my partner for 2-3months and i am about 7 weeks pregnant.i only found out the other day.there are times when i'm fine and can think straight but there are times i get emotional,partly because i think i know what i'm going to do.

i'm a live in a nanny i work away from home and there is no room for a child back at my parents house.do i tell my bf of 3 months i'm pregnant or do i not?i don't love this guy yet...but i might.will he support me if i continue to remain pregnant or will he desert me?i'm trying to find positive and negatives to my situation but all i can think of is money. Yes you get support with that but i work with kids i know how expensive they are.

Any body who judges a woman who contemplates abortion or has done needs to have a reality check,it's not so clear cut try being in the situation yourself and having to deal with the choices you available.

Your story made me cry partly because im 80% sure i want rid and i dont want to have to face those feelings afterwards but i know i will. It takes a brave woman to have an a abortion and it is not an 'easy' way out as some may think.

I hope time heals the pain

Emma xxx

I'm also 24 and pregnant. My boyfriend and I have made the decision to terminate. I wish you luck and good thoughts in making your choice. You're not alone!

I'm in the same situation except my continuing the pregnancy is life threatening, I just had a baby 8 months ago and wasn't happy when I first found out but I am also pro-life, I want to keep himher so bad, I have until tonight to decide, prayers needed! Thank you so much for sharing your story, I cant stop crying! I support you 100%! God bless!!

i had a pregnancy scare three months ago he was very supportive and we tryed mkeing everythign work but his mom tlaked to him and he wanted an abortion i cryed everynight he was hostile andmean and begged for the abortion i was confused and changed my mind alot i didnt likethe consequences of the baby but i didnt want to kill my baby in the end it was a pregnancy scare i cry to this day aout it because i couldnt beileve the pain he put me through but i guess its true if a man sees his mom crys he trys to stop it i guess it just means killing his own child i cry even talking aout this me and him still are in a relationship but hes not the man fell in love with anymore i still love him so much buti just cant forget what he pu me through

You are so truly brave for sharing this story, you seriously brought tears to my eyes..you deserve a better more supportive boyfriend who is willing to bust his butt to make ends meet so you won't have to do this..I wish you the best and although I wish I could say it gets easier to cope, it doesn't, but here in this community we are here to support you, wish you the best<3

I can't see how people can say women getting rid of a baby is selfish. Having a baby u cant support is a lot worse than having it aborted, the tears that came to my eyes while reading this story about how one lady felt but in so many ways every other women who has been in the same situation is very upsetting. I really appriciate your story as i am in the same situation I have 2 kids and am 21 and have just found out I'm pregnant again. I haven't yet decided what I'm goin to do but reading stories on how hard it is I think I no the option I'm goin to go with..

In no way is deciding to terminate an easy thing to do and some cases having the baby could be considered an easy way out. Making such a difficult decision is not selfish and I think you have made a very valid point that many people forget.

i'm 5 weeks pregnant, and i'm in the same sitution, im going for a abortion next week, because i cant afford to bring this baby up, i know some people on here on have said adoption but i think that is worse cos you feel your baby grow, etc then you have give it to some one you don't even know.

I'm going through a similar situation. I'm a single mom with a child and I want a abortion I'm scared to death I have no one to turn to. I can't afford another.. I'm so stressed. I just need to know ill be ok after my abortion to take care of my child

This sounds like a terrible experience. D: Very touching, heart felt story. I have no idea what it would be like to be pregnant and considering abortion, but this was definitely an eye opener. <br />
I hope you've managed to find a boyfriend who would be far more supportive and caring, because the guy in this story sounds like an ***. Also, it's really depressing that the decision between birth and abortion can be something as simple as finances... the way the world works really does put a price on life.

Wow that made me cry. You were so brave for doing that, but in the end, you knew it was right and no one has the right to judge you. That was the most honest story I have ever read. Thanks very much for sharing and I hope you are at peace now.

Your story made me emotional because all of ours in this group are so eerily similar. My main difference is the role reversal my fiance had your stance while I had your boyfriend's. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. You're never alone. Sometimes I pray to my babies. It makes me feel a little better in a strange way. You did the right thing for your situation and hopefully things will get easier for you in time.

i am crying because Im not in the exact situation, but it is close. I have one child and am in school so i don't have the time it requires for a newborn and im definately no millionaire, so i know what it is like to live paycheck to paycheck...so i admire you because a lot of ppl feel that ppl who have abortions are humanless and have lack of respect for life. life does go on and i wish you the best in life and may circumstances turn out better for you. i will be your friend in spirit :) hang in there sunshine:)

Not having read many of the other comments on here, here's mine. You say " I am angry at the situation that I'm in and that I had to have the abortion..." Actually, you didn't have to have it. If you already have 2 kids, you surely must know that any time you have sex you take a chance on getting pregnant. That's the way it is. If you knew you did not want any more children, you should have been taking birth control. Probably the best advice would be for you to get a tubal litigation. And, personally, I do not think you seem very strong, as a couple of others posted, because if you were you would get away from such a horrible-sounding man. Good luck to you.

why do you have to comment on EVERY SINGLE abortion story....STOP spreading your hate

Thank you for sharing this story. I too am getting an abortion. :( The man who I am pregnant by is abusive and sexually disturbed. I want to share a little story with you, if that is OK. I am so grateful for your strength to share your story with us. <br />
<br />
I have already given my first son to another family (adoption) when he was born. It traumatized me for three years before I was finally at peace with the decision. I had nightmares every night about my beautiful baby boy being taken by his adoptive mom. I only spent nine months with him, our hearts beating together, and I spent first two days of his life with him in the hospital. He stared straight into my eyes when he was born and I fell in love so deeply but I was 17 and could't take care of a baby and the adoptive parents were sooo pushy to get me to give them my baby, I felt like I had to. Bryce is his name, and Bryce looks just like his adoptive parents, they have blue eyes and red hair too, just like him. I have blonde hair and brown eyes. I believe God chose me to be a saraget mother for them. They could not have kids. I also did it for them, not just me and the baby. It killed me deeply, emotionally and physically torn into pieces. I became pregnant again asap. The father is psychotic and abusive. But i have my own baby now with this man because I couldn't cope with the loss. He is one and a half. His name is Blaze. I wanted to desperately to have the perfect all american family! So my ex bf got a job and we decided to try to get pregnant again. I got pregnant again but got scared and told him I started my period. And I snapped back into sanity, realizing that I am being stupid by taking him back and becoming pregnant. I wanted to test him, to see if he really changed. I ignored him for just one day. He called me over 100 times it seemed like every second my phone went off. He broke into my house that night and accused me of cheating. He threatened to kill me and everyone I was with. He has beaten me bloody in front of my son. My son is traumatized. I am one month pregnant and know that abortion is the right choice. If I have a girl, she could get raped or molested. And I cannot do it emotionally and financially. Adoption is not an option for me again. He will come after me if he knows I am pregnant. This is my breaking point. I am becoming stronger and smarter. After this I could never look at my ex the same or take him back. Thank you for sharing your story. I love my baby too. But our baby's are safe in Gods arms and we did the right thing. Earth is full of much suffering and we did the right thing and we learned a lesson. Even though I still have to get the surgery, I feel like my baby is already dead. I hate thinking of it like this. But your story has made me feel much better, thanks for being strong. I know it's hard. I want to die knowing that i have to do this, but it will be ok.

You are a very strong person, I feel your pain. I am going through the same thing currently. This too shall pass, let the soul go and when its meant to be god will surely give it back when it is your time. God bless you and always find a reason to smile<3

your story sounds just like mine

I wish that adoption would be the choice for those who find themselves in a situation where they are pregnant and not able to raise a child. I don't understand how the adoption option would not be right.....it is not about that it would be hard for the mother.....it's about what is right for the child, who was brought into this world....which is always how it is when dealing with a child....no judgments, just hope that the next baby brought into the world in a tough situation can be raised in this world by parents who are searching to care for and raise a new little person. It''s a win for the baby and a win for the adoptive parents unable to have their own.

I'm 23yrs old pregnant wit my second baby,, im scheduled to have an abortion Friday afternoon,, I feel the greatest weight on me that I have ever felt. I want my baby so much but at the same time I'm am not finacially stable nor is my so called "bf". I know there are girls who have babies at ages younger than me and they take care of them with out much help. I jus feel like I shouldnt be so selfish as to bring a baby into a situation where it wouldnt recieve the best care

yeah the jews where not people either and we all know how that turned out.....wake the hell up people...Un friken real...I make no excues because I ma not here because I of being a Christian I am here becuase biology says it is a baby and has feelings....I wound how many of you where mad at Casey???Her baby got in the way too....Now please tell me how that is different???

Nice spelling. I think you need to wake the he'll up and take your opinion somewhere else. I DESPISE ppl like you!!! Why waste your time saying stuff like that. If you care so much about voicing your opinion and think it's wrong then get off your *** and try to do something to change it because honestly you being rude behind a computer screen does nothing to help save the "baby's"

I feel for you girl. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing with this pregnancy. I know it's best not to keep it, but I'm struggling with the idea of having an abortion :/

im sorry honey . i just had my abortion today . very very similar story . i too believe i made the right decision but i know i will have to live with this forever . we know we both have little angels in heaven . love and God bless

Abortion wasnt your only option. Im adopted. My mom could have aborted me at any moment and yet i sit here today reading how you just killed your baby. Its a selfish act. Someone would have loved that child more than you did. You would have also been financially taken care of. The whole idea is disgusting. This was your choice and i accept that..but saying it was the right choice and the best choice... you might want to think that over. People who get abortions need to stop justifying their mistakes. Clearly you are all heartbroken because in reality, you know you killed your baby.

You are a *****

Total piece of s***right here.

Um excuse you ***** you have no right to call her selfish. And we don't justify our mistakes. It was the right and best choice for her. Who the heck are you to judge. I could say something really mean right now. But I have more respect for the feelings of others unlike you.

You are a strong girl because if that had been my boyfriend coming to say how sorry he was after he practically forced me to have an abortion by being so unsupportive i would have made sure that the next time he was near a woman they were one hundred percent safe (if you get my meaning). My experience has haunted me for years and right now even my hair is falling out from the stress. I pray for forgiveness but i cant forgive myself.

You spread your legs, you face the consequences.

She did you ****, just like you have to face being ignorant every day. That's okay though, everyone around you knows that your a putz just because you open your mouth.

I'm so sorry for the tough situation you were in. Just know that others in horrible situations too and hearing your story helps.

I had to make the same decision you did, and it was the hardest thing to do. I knew I could love that baby completely, but I could never give it the life it deserves. Thank you for sharing your story, it has made me feel better and I hope that you can find some comfort in that.

Abortions can be expensive, but raising a child is a lifetime of expenses and sacrifices. There is nothing wrong with waiting to have a child until you are ready to give it a good life. I'm in your shoes as well, though older and out of school. I'm barely getting by on my own and am in no position to raise a child when I can barely take care of myself. The cost of the abortion is equal to what I would pay to go back on birth control. I think that's something to keep in mind for the future. Do not be afraid; you are not alone. Though you may face judgment and criticism, keep your head high and know that only you can make the right decision, whatever that decision may be.

I cried the whole time reading this. I'm 18, in college, working, struggling. I can barely afford a dorm & I just found out tonight, I'm pregnant.<br /><br />
I want to look into abortion.. But I'm afriad.<br /><br />
Advice, please??

I cried the whole time reading this. I'm 18, in college, working, struggling. I can barely afford a dorm & I just found out tonight, I'm pregnant.<br /><br />
I want to look into abortion.. But I'm afriad.<br /><br />
Advice, please??

thank you for your story i hope one day our babies will forgive us for what we had to do i hate the fact that it had to come to this that i gota do this to someone i wouldve loved soo much that i did this to myself and i hope one day god and i can forgive me for wat ill do

I seriously am so concerned with you folks doing it, coz it doesnt just affect ur health but more importantly, it affects your mental state.....I personally dont believe in god! but i hope, like a true woman u hv the power to stand upto it & gradually move on!! <br />
<br />
Jmad sounded an absolute nutcase to me!! y cant u control ur own urge or at least use protection & not blame the girl for giving up the kid??

ausash19 i understand im in the same boat

Its hard and horribe.. its been 5 months now and last night i just couldnt take it anymore... its killed me inside and i cant take it. Im so sorry to hear you in the same boat. my heart goes out to you hun!

I read your story and burst into tears reading, I had an abortion three days ago and am still trying to come to grips with everything. It would have been my first child, i did all the test to make sure if it was or wasn't a ectopic pregnancy or anything like that everything was normal and I was looking forward to the idea of having my first baby at 19 as was my boyfriend. But my mother made it all about her, how this would ruin her life and I would be stupid to bring a baby into this world My boyfriend and I thought of everything, every option and with no money we would try so hard to make it work especially considering it was meant to be hard for me to have a baby in the first place, but my mother kept saying everything over again I would make a horrible parent as would my boyfriend if he stuck around and every day heard the same stuff about how i was ruining her life if i kept it... So feeling like I was somewhat forced i went through with the abortion on Thursday and every night I've cried until I've fallen asleep, trying to convince myself I did the right thing...<br />
<br />
How do I continue to strive forward if i keep wanting my baby back?<br />
<br />
I'm sorry just struggiling at the moment and had to tell some one i guess :'( Thank you xx

I can't cry. I'm sorry but how the hell you have 2 children and then decided to abort the third one over money issues? Can you apply for Food Stamps? Wic or other government programs? I really can't understand why the hell you did that in the first place! I'm so angry right now, I can't have ******' kids and people like you are taking children for granted! If you can't afford financially why don't you give up your other kids too and dump that lazy boyfriend of yours and start all over again?

You selfish twit. That woman made her decision. It was tough, it hurt, but it was a genuine decision. You moaning about being sterile and bitter was not the topic, nor was that a decision. You should go to the appropriate support forum to get over you issues.

I am sorry for the pain that was caused.....I am here for you if you ever need to chat.....And please read my story....To all young ladies....From an older one....<br />
<br />
I have been told that it has helped others here.....Please be strong....I know that is easier said than done......But over time....You will get to that place that you need to be.....and come to terms with this...<br />
<br />
Big Hug<br />
<br />
Singer1960

I am in a verey similiar situation and I want to keep it badly but I know I can not give it the life that it deserves to have....

I'm so sorry you had to go through that!

I'm having an abortion in two days, I feel so scared and alone :( I'm just 20 and the baby's just 5 weeks but I feel so protective of it :( I'm in a similar situation as you, my bf isnt being very supportive. He's paying for the abortion but I'm going alone on Friday morning. I want to keep it but I really cant, our relationship isnt stable enough, neither of us is financially secure and I'm not done studying yet. I broke up with him today :( I feel so broken, losing him and the baby together

I'm so sorry you had to go through it alone, I am 20 as well and I had one about 2 weeks ago and regret it every single day. I understand what you mean by being protective of it, I felt the same. How are you feeling now? Does it get any easier or better? :(

YOU NEED A REAL MAN... ALL HE DID WAS THINK ABOUT HIMSELF!!!! PLEASE SEE THAT..DUMP HIMMMMMM...YEA HE FELT BAD FOR U YA RIGHT HONEY.. HE JUST KNEW WHAT U WANTED TO HEAR SO HIS AZZ WASNT ON THE STREET THAT NIGHT. IM SO SO SO SORRY U HAD TO FEEL THAT PAIN.....

i understand also, what you are going thru...well i will soon anyways. I met my bf about 4 months ago, and everything was goin fine, but then i got pg...im now 7-8 weeks and im wanting to get an aboration. I cant afford to raise another child i have a 2 year old right now and i jus cant afford 2. i dont have a job right now, nor do i have a car, i dont want another one right now. i just got out of a long 6 year relationship about 3 months before i met my current bf. i didnt want any of this...if i had the money and my own place i would have it. i know its going to be very hard afterwards but its my choice. my bf dont agree with me but hes also a ****...not gonna get into that... And jmad or whatever your name is, you need to keep your mouth shut....you obivouly never been in this situation...if someone went thru with it and had the baby it would be even harder to just give him or her away. the point is some people cant afford it. its hard enough for us to make the choices we do, we dont need people like you puttin more guilt on us, we get enough of that.

You are a very strong woman. You story was honest and heart felt. Losing a child (no matter how) is a very hard thing to go through. People have no right to jude you. I hope you find peace within yourself when you reach your goals. Finish school, get your own place and be the best mother you can be.

Honestly honey, you made the worst decision you possibly could have made, under the circumstances. <br />
There is always another way.<br />
For instance, you could have put your baby up for adoption.<br />
That would have given your baby the opportunity to live the life he or she truely deserved.<br />
Plus, it's inexpensive on your end.<br />
Imagine if your mother, who aborted her own baby, had aborted you.<br />
You wouldn't be here.<br />
And that's not fair, to anyone.<br />
You should have given the baby up.<br />
As far as your boyfriend goes, he sounds like a jerk.<br />
He should have been there for you, offered alternatives.<br />
You should keep your head up, and know you can do better. <br />
Perhaps a man with some morals will be better for you.<br />
Getting pregnant was not the BABY'S mistake.<br />
Yet, that's who you punished. :(

I disagree with you completely. Obviously this young lady punished herself as well. Have a little more compassion for someone who has been to hell and back.

Exactly. Stick your pro-life agenda up your butt and get off this girl's story ya clown.

You are a complete jerk! You disgust me with your ignorance! This girl is strong and has been through enough and doesn't need your awful judgement. I agree, stick your pro-life agenda up your butt and keep your screwed up judgement to yourself.

You speak with the ignorance of someone who has never had an unwanted pregnancy. Perhaps you should keep your mouth shut.

1 More Response

Like you I also had an abortion because I was not finacially stable enough to care for a child. Your story like many other stories brought tears to my eyes and I wished that none of us had to go through the pain. Like you, I am also not at peace with what I have done, but I know it was the right choice for me. <br />
<br />
This will only make us stronger in the end.

Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are doing okay. We had abortions for the same reasons, so please know you have someone to talk to if the need arises.

Your story made me cry. Mostly because I know what you went through. It's so nice to meet people who are going through the same thing.