I Am So Looking Forward To This. I Want My Life Back.So I've been trying to find some positive support for this issue online, and I am at my wits end. I'm going in 2 days to get my abortion and I honestly couldn't be more relieved. Ever since I found out I was pregnant I have been in a deep depression. I felt like my life was over. I was so sick at first that I continuously had to go to the hospital, so I lost my job (there goes the financial support) and I had to drop out of college (and there goes the education). It absolutely positively SUCKS to be pregnant.
I decided that despite everyone's over stupid religious wishes that have nothing to do with my life, my wants, my needs, or my hopes and dreams... I'm getting an abortion. And I'm excited. I finally get my life back. I can finally feel relief, and feel good about myself again. That I'm not just some farm animal being bred to keep everyone else happy.
The worst part about this situation? That I had to wait so damn long to get my act together. My boyfriend was adamant about keeping it, and through his abusive lies and manipulation about what a bad person I was I was about to keep it. But the abuse and the threats never stopped. If I didn't do everything exactly the way he and his mother wanted he threatened to leave me and take the child away. They called me mentally incompetent and were trying to force me to live there without allowing me to keep any of my own things. I had no choice in any situations involving the baby, all of them were made for me by his mother. EXCUSE ME?
I must have been insane to allow that abuse to go on for so long. There are only so many times I can be called stupid, and an insane b*tch, until my patience runs out. They were forcing me to go on welfare and tried to get me committed to psychiatric wards. I have no history of mental illness, but for some reason they kept forcing me into believing I did. (Münchausen syndrome by proxy, anyone?) I truly believe they were setting up a case against me to take my parental rights away.
So now I am just done. Getting away from the crazy family and getting on with my life. AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. I have no love for this child and feel no regrets. I am looking forward to the day I can find someone who respects me and wants to make decisions with me, and not against me. I am looking forward to the day we can share this experience together instead of forcing me to suffer through something so thoroughly unwanted.
So haters, come on here and hate. And guilt-trippers, bring it on. Because I am happy. I am moving forward in my life. I am a strong woman and I know I can do this and nobody is going to make me feel bad about caring for myself and making the right choices for my future. I escaped a lifelong sentence of abuse and trauma and I am not looking back.
mirieri 22-25, F 3 Responses 1 Aug 6, 2012