I Had An Abortion

I just had an abortion two days ago. My mind was set on having this procedure done last week. My mind was made up and I did not feel that it was the right time for me to have kids. My fiance wanted to have a child when I felt that it wasn't' t the right time so he insisted that I become pregnant. After the procedure was done I felt guilty, depressed and angry all at the same time. I didn't't have the guts to tell my fiance what I have done, last Friday I told him that I was thinking about terminating the pregnancy he told me not to do it and constantly condemned me for even thinking about it. I went ahead and had the procedure done anyways, it was hard for me to confess I even tried to lie and tell him that I had a early miscarriage. He didn't't believe me at first because he knew that I was thinking about getting an abortion. When he found out that I had an abortion he was angry and even labeled me as a cold hearted killer. If it wasn't't for my mother helping me through this time of healing I would've believed him, I know that in my heart I'm not a killer nor did I do anything wrong. My mother kept reminding me that God forgives us for all of our sins since we are Christians. My fiance has even put fear in me to the point that I was scared of him coming to attack me. I understand that he is upset that I didn't tell him the day that I had the abortion but, he has to understand that I constantly told him that I did not want to have children at this time. Also, our families had many differences between each other, I believe the right time to have children is when everything is settled so that the child will not come into a disturbing environment. He interprets this as me not ever wanting to have kids. I do want to have children hopefully in the near future after I finish college, have a house and have my career together. Even though I'm 22 years old I feel that I'm not ready to be a mother because having a child is a huge responsibility, I feel that the time is not right for my fiance and I to have children. Our families are not getting along right now and I'm trying to wait until everything calms down and is back to normal. Hopefully I will heal and get back to my normal self very soon, this has been an emotional battle for me but my family has been by my side from the moment I had the procedure.

For other girls and women who had an abortion or who are thinking of having an abortion don't listen to anyone who is condemning you for your decision. Remember, that this is your body and you have every right to choose whether or not if you want a child. If your are a Christan, Muslim, Jewish or whatever religion you may practice you have to remember that God forgives and still loves you. God will not punish nor curse you, God is love and always will be.

Usually Pro-Lifers are unaware of the facts and know very little about abortion procedures. I have also researched and found that Pro-Lifers are almost never concerned about the woman who went through the abortion but instead the abortion itself.

rvnright rvnright
22-25
2 Responses Sep 7, 2012

Good on you for following your heart. I see so many women in the country I live that get shotgun marriages and live pretty unhappy lives because they weren't ready for a baby, let alone considering marriage with the other person. Abortions are really expensive here, though. :(<br />
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One thing I want to say is DO NOT marry this guy before you both have some kind of couples counseling. It's not healthy that he tried to force you into having his baby which you were not ready for at this time, hurt you by calling you horrible names, etc. If this is how he faces every big disagreement I don't see it being happy for you. It seems like he has some insecurities that he needs to work on. If he wants kids now and you do not, either he needs to be willing to be patient or he needs to let you go. That's a huge deal breaker for both sides and I believe children should be born into loving homes where both parents are in a place where they can give that.

My very, very pro-life ex did attack me after my abortion. And living in a Red State, he only got a year for attempted murder. He got more for violating parole. "Justice" system. I agree, pro-lifers know nothing about fetal development, pregnancy, and abortions. And so many of them refuse to fund public healthcare, support war, and eat meat. They're okay with killing other sentient beings, but clusters of cells that don't even have brains? They're pro-gestation, not pro-life. I'm glad your family is supportive. My family's support meant the world to me.