Don't Know How To Let Go....

All I want to say is I never thought I would have had to have a abortion or ever thought I would do it.  Where I was at in my life when I became pregnant I knew it wasnt possible for me to keep this baby, I thought long an hard about what to do, I couldnt talk to anyone about this besides my bf who got me pregnant. I decided the best thing for me to do was to have a abortion. So I made my appt. an while I waited I would see all these pregnant women an newborn babies an I would have to hold back my tears. I cried thru my whole abortion an days after an honestly still do. I try not to think about it but when Im alone my mind takes me there. I dont know how to forgive myself or my bf, I get real angry at him. When things go wrong I feel its God punishing me for doin what I felt I had to do. I know many women have done this an im not alone but I really feel alone an hurt an angry an I just dont know how to let it go....
tinyangelwings tinyangelwings
31-35, F
3 Responses Sep 18, 2012

I also had an abortion about 2 months ago, i still think about it, but it does get easier, it was very painful for me and my partner, he still thinks about it all the time but refuses to talk to me about it. God isnt punishing you, as you dont deserve to be punished. i hope you can get through it, and i know thats easier said than done, best of luck to you, keep your chin up and dont let people judge you. good luck!! :)

The end of next month will be a year since I had my abortion an Im still struggling with it. No one besides my bf knows I had it an I think that is what makes it harder for me to deal because I can't talk about it an maybe thats what I need to do even though I rather keep it private. But thanks for your comment these do help me.

You are not alone, I wish I would have taken more time to make the decision. I only knew I was pregnant for one week, I found out on Friday, and it was gone the next Friday. You did what was right for you and thats who you had to look out for.

I know in the end I did what was best as did you, I just wish I never had to make that decision. Thanks for your comment

I know you feel as though God is punishing you but he isn't. I know that it is easier said than done but you just have to push through. Pray. Pray and God will listen, he will hear your hurt and see your struggle and in someway and in sometime he will help you with your hurt and struggle, he will and already has forgiven you.

Thank you, I will continue to pray an hope that I can forgive myself as well. This is a struggle that no one in my life knows Im going through an that makes it harder for me. But your right I need to let God help me heal again thank you for your kind words.