My Regret Turned Into Something Beautiful.

I had an abortion at 10 weeks. It was not a easy decision even though I wasn't too excited about the pregnancy. My birth control failed.
The day of the procedure I felt a little nervous but not too bad. Everything went smoothly and afterwards my boyfriend and I went to have lunch.

It wasn't until about 3 months later it really started to get to me. I hated myself and hated my boyfriend even more for allowing it to happen. It would come up in every argument. I was a mess. I would look at my tummy in the mirror and wonder and wish. I cried just about everyday.
I thought I would always be like this and I would regret it the rest of my life. But I started watching shows about psychic mediums and they would tell people about their loved ones that crossed, including aborted babies and that they were at peace with family. I also saw a show about a lady who considered killing herself but had a dream of her baby she aborted telling her she loves her and to hang in there. The mediums say when you truly feel the presence of those who passed then it is definitely them. It's easy to be skeptical until you see for yourself.

Then one night I had a pleasant surprise myself. I saw my baby! A adorable baby boy that has his daddy's smile. In the dream I was sitting on the floor with my baby on my lap smiling away and we continued to play. We were in a small room and a lady with long dress on stood by the door. I couldn't see her face. It was as if she was bringing my baby for a visit. I KNEW it was my baby. The joy I felt was incredible! I was so happy and excited that I woke my boyfriend (in my dream lol) and told him! I told him later that day though in real life haha After that night, I truly feel at ease about the abortion. You would think I would regret my decision even more but I did not. Why would my baby visit to only make me more miserable? There was a reason for it. I know my baby still loves me and is in a happy place. I know he's okay. After I told my boyfriend he said maybe the lady by the door was his grandma, who I never met, which could be why I couldn't see her face. He said she always wore dresses and nothing else. She was with our baby :) It was a beautiful experience. 
chass11 chass11
18-21
4 Responses Sep 23, 2012

There was an episode of Long Island Medium where a baby who had been miscarried came forward. I wondered at the time how an aborted baby might feel and if the baby would be angry with its mother for killing. I realized that heaven is such a beautiful place that these little ones could not harbor anger toward their mother.

I am very much pro-life but I cannot judge someone who has had an abortion. First, it is not my place and, second, it is between them and their higher being or God.

Thank you for sharing your story! It makes me feel a little more at ease about my abortion i'll my going through on Thursday. I hope I can get through it and realize it is the best choice for me in my situation.

I am not for abortion nor against it, but if you do go through with it, it's easier thinking you aren't alone, cause you aren't. Don't be hard on yourself and do what is best for you so you can be the BEST YOU when you are ready :)

It's been much longer for me almost 5 years. It gives me a bit of hope knowing you we're having just as hard a time as I still am that one day I will have peace. That is a beautiful thing to have happen! I do hope you see him more as well!

This is a touching story and I'm glad us women still have that choice I pray you get more visits

Thank you! I am looking forward to more visits. I'm always anxious to sleep now!