Finally Ready To Tell My Story.

I had my abortion around 4 months ago and every day since ive felt nothing but regret. i found out when i was around 8 weeks into the pregnancy and to be completely honest the news couldnt have come at a worse time.

A couple months prior i had cheated on my boyfriend with an ex and the week i found out i was pregnant i also found out my boyfriend of a year/best friend of 5 years... cheated on me with a really "great" friend of mine... we had taken each other for granted but we are both willing to mend what we had broken.

I remember staring down at the two little pink lines thinking.
1) I would be the best mommy to this little angel. No matter how hard life may be i would make sure him/her knew how much i loved him/her
2) but how could i bring this innocent child into such a poisonous environment

So going against my overly emotional, think only with my heart mentality. I did what EVERYONE ELSE thought was right and had the abortion... My experience at the clinic was terrible. I remember right as the medication was hitting me, i tried telling them "stop, ive changed my mind" but it was to late and i fell into a deep medical sleep. When i woke up i was so sick and exhausted... but they made me feel as if i was taking up space and even though i was not well. i was given an advil and sent on my way, with no more than an after care letter and some birth control. After that I didnt seek out councelling and i went into a very dark place.

So at this point in my life its been 4 months since and im finally ready to talk about it. I need to start letting go because i need to get happy again. I find myself lashing out my anger and crying randomly because theirs so much built up thats just dying to come out... I need somebody that understands.
Serenity17 Serenity17
18-21, F
2 Responses Sep 25, 2012

Hey there is a blog I found that relates to your story it is at catsoncats.wordress.com please check out this girls story.

I'm sorry you had a negative experience at the abortion clinic. It seems like in general most abortion clinics are very sympathetic and understanding from the perspective of most of the posters here. If you told them to stop the abortion and they did not stop you may have some legal recourse if you feel like perusing it. In the very least, I would try and file a complaint with them as that clinic could be harming other patients as well.

If that clinic was not able to recommend any post-abortion counseling, try searching for sessions or groups through other local abortion clinics. If you're religious, it seems like more churches are starting to offer specific counseling session as well, often including abortion. I think almost all users on this board will agree that it's important not to keep everything inside, and part of grieving and getting past the grieving means telling your story and learning to forgive and/or love yourself despite what happened.