3rd Pregnancy, 1st Abortion - Mixed Feelings

I am a happily married mummy to 2 girls age 6 and 4. I thought family was complete but then discovered I was pregnant. I did like the idea of 3 kids, but money is a big issue, as is time but these are all things I could have managed and we could have had the 3rd baby. the big issue for me was pregnancy - I don't do it well. I suffered from hypememisi gravidium in all pregnancies and throw up 20 times day and night until around 20 weeks, I need to have IV fluids because I am so sick I get dehydrated and during pregnancy 1 and 2 I felt so sick and ill all the time it was horrible.

I started being sick at 5 weeks of pregnancy, the nausea was non stop and the vommting getiing up to about 10 times a day. I knew I just couldn't do another pregnancy like this again and worried about the effetc it would have on my other children.

Hubby didn't want a 3rd child (but would have supported me if I'd have wanted to continue) however I knew it would be hard as I'd be unable to function or work due to the vomiting and nausea 24/7 for 15 more weeks.

I therefore decided to abort and did so at 7+ weeks gestation.

I felt immediate relief from the nausea and at first enjoyed being able to be mummy to my 2 girls without throwing up during bedtime stories or while playing games, but after a few days I felt a great loss and a lot of guilt about what i had chosen to do.

I know that if I was still being sick and was unable to look after my kids that I would also be feeling pretty rotten right now too so maybe the decision was the right one.

All that really matters is that I made a choice based on the situation I was in and right or wrong it can't be changed so I need to accept the choice I have made and move on with my life in the direction that choice has lead me too.

Unplanned pegnancy is the issue and when it happens I am not sure any choice is going to 100% or perfect so there will always be regrets and abort or keep - the consequences of the choice will last a life time.
Mountaing Mountaing
31-35
Sep 25, 2012