About to Do It Again

About 7 months ago I had my firdt abortion and tomarrow I am getting another one. Let me start off by telling you all about me. I am 23 years old and I am the mother of 3 sons. I had my first son at 16 than one at 17 than one at 20. I had another son. I had him when I was 21. I am currently doing surprizingly well for myself. My last son passed awey when he was 3 months old. Yes, im stupid to have had 2 abortions, but i feel as though i have no other choice. I am scared to death that something might happen if i had another child. If he passes I'd prabably kill myself with all seriosness. I couldn't deal with that again. Now I am having my second abortion. My first was at 6 weeks. Now I'm about 10 weeks. The first one wasn't phyiscally bad. Not a drop of pain, but there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about what I have done and now the fact that I am gonna do it again. I feel like a have a ticket to hell but what to do. Adoption it would never happen. After I have a baby there is no possibility of me giving it away.
babygirl0829 babygirl0829
22-25, F
5 Responses May 16, 2007

Your not stupid for having any abortions women know. We're smart enough to decide these things. Besides it's just a dot... But you should stop getting pregnant and protect yourself. I'm going back for my 3rd d and c procedure and I've only been pregnant once!. It's very dangerous. I have left over placenta rotting inside me and you think its all gone the first time, then the second time. But nope let's hope its all out the third time! This can also happen with vaginal and c section birth. It's not smart to play around with YOUR OWN LIFE, the ones who your existing sons depend on!!! I worked at a foster parents camp ground for only 5 months and I've had thousands of parentless children walk past me. It's not a good option. The best option for anyone is to get birth control and not just one, but two kind! Be smart.

I don't really know what to say other than having been through abortion and having my own children, I personally feel as though I grieve everyday for my child, perhaps on a level that cannot be compared to a natural death, I am surley not saying one is easier than the other, all I am saying is that I could have prevented the death of my child...That is hard to deal with...I believe that a women that can live with abortion can get through anything... Don't give up that is the evil of it all, trying to make you weak, trying to make us fail, shrug it off, pray to your babies they'll get you through it all....

I'm assuming the first two kids weren't planned right?<br />
Maybe it's time to look into some serious contraception like they mentioned above.

having an abortion is fine. its your choice and its your right. but if you already have kids and do not want anymore. as margaret1987 said, why arent you on the pill [or did it just fail for you]. have you considered having your tubes tied [considering you dont want anymore kids anyway]. i am 24, i have 3 children of my own. and i decided to have my tubes tied after my last child was born. i have no regrets and its worry free.

you need to forgive yourself for your baby's death, you have raised other children and please don't kill yourself they need their mum, getting pregnant 2 times in 7 months and having them both aborted is wrong aren't you on the pill? Please get the implant! For your sake and for your other children.