3 Abortions.

Let me start by saying that I am a very intelligent woman. I am getting my masters currently and will be going to medical school next year. I'm not the type anyone would expect to have gone through 3 abortions. I mean I guess you could say that the bright side is I am fertile! But, to be honest I can't quite talk about it with anyone. I've had 3 abortions. And no one knows that I have had a total of 3.
The first was when I was 19. I had a boyfriend of 2 years and I we were careful about using protection, but I got pregnant anyway. There was no question about what I would do. I was a college student studying to become a doctor. I couldn't have a baby. I told my parents and was able to have a surgical abortion, paying for it with the little I had saved over the summers. It was about $800. I had it at about 5 weeks, when I knew there wasn't a heartbeat yet. My parents didn't take it well and really wanted nothing to do with it after it was done. I really had no one but my boyfriend to talk to. I am a really strong person so I thought I could handle it by myself. No need to talk to anyone. Then my boyfriend told me he had a dream that it was a girl. That single statement still gets to me even 5 years later.
The second was in another long term relationship. We used a condom, it didn't break, and I still to this day do not understand how I became pregnant. I decided to have a medication abortion, few people knew about this one because I was too ashamed to tell anyone who had already known about my first. I wen through with the abortion in my sorority house. No one knew and I just took the Saturday to go through the pain without anyone. I was just fine. Again, I didn't want to talk to anyone about it because I really believed I was strong enough to go through with it and deal with it alone.
The third was with a guy I had been dating for about 6 months. We were using the pull-out method (not smart, I know) and I made sure we weren't having sex when I was likely to become pregnant, but, unfortunately, that didn't make a difference. This was the moment that I became more ashamed than I can even express. I went through with a surgical procedure and went through with my day, making dinner for my parents and going to work the next day as though it hadn't happened. The guy I slept with was the only person that knew about it, even to this day.
I am in the midst of having to write a paper about the morality of abortion and I haven't been able to go through with writing anything. I have had to read 2 articles and a plethora of book essay readings on either side of the issues. I can't put my emotions together and I don't know how to talk to anyone about my emotions so I thought this would be a good outlet. I hope people can read this and understand that abortion does not just affect a small subset of people and that the most unlikely of women may have gone through one of multiple.
lizabelle730 lizabelle730
Nov 26, 2012