Lost.

Last year was a hard yr... ok here's a lil info, I have a daughter who is 5 now, he dad got deported when she was 2 (was extremely hard to go thru) .. well I just started to date last yr n ran into a old boyfriend. Started dating. I was head over heels for this Guy, well six months into the relationship I got pregnant. He didn't want to keep it. I did. But he said it would just b better to abort that when we are financially stable we will have a baby, I agreed to the abortion just hoping that he would change his mind. He never did :( I aborted my baby at 7 weeks. Ill never forget looking at my baby.( Its so hard for me to write this but I'm so depressed I need to open up somehow ) I cried right after it happened just wanting my baby back holding my stomach couldn't believe I had did it. I am a mother I kno what its like to have a baby growing in my tummy. The kicks, the moving all around an watching my tummy. The relationship didn't last too much longer cause three an a half months later, I thought I was pregnant again. I thought this was gunna b diff cause I couldn' go thru another abortion my bf knew I took the first one hard crying for weeks. Well we ended up breaking up before I found out I was pregnant so of course the Guy wants to abort, I know it was fully my decision but being a single mother is hard n I couldn't have my baby cause I was struggling with my daughter already I cried n cried n cried but I knew he wasnt gunna help me if I had my baby. Me n my ex stayed friends up intill the abortion cause he said he would b there for me no matter what, well yea he was there to pay for it n give me a ride home he stayed with me for a few hrs as I cried he didn't have any words to say really but all I could do is cry I was n so much pain n just couldn't believe myself. Me n my ex couldn't have been further from each other, but still n the same room. He made up some lie n left. Said he would text me to see how I am .. he neverdid. I found out hehad another girl.. n two months after my abortion he got her pregnant .. I had knew this Guy for yrs. But that don't matter, huh? Well I had to tell my dad abt my abortion so he could buy my meds I had needed. I think that just pushed me more into a depression I had to tell my family what I went thru, and all they said was y didn't u tell me! :( I miss my baby's so much I cry everyday I can't watch tv without thinking of my angels they say it gets easier with time but ill never for get .. the pain I felt as the pulled my ten week old baby man that was just horrible. I know I have to b strong for my daughter n I am but sometimes I just wanna cry all day literally! Please any advice or caring words :'(
Alonein Alonein
22-25, F
3 Responses Nov 28, 2012

Youll get thru this, i have a son hes 4 & my husband who i recently married last year loves him, ive never seen so much love until them. Youll meet the guy who will love & cherish you & your little one & all these memories will just stay behind be strong for yourself & your daughter.

I am 31 with a 3 and a half year old daughter. I just found out 2 days ago I'm pregnant...i was with this guy since may off and on...he doesn't want to be together anymore. That crushes me. He wants me to get an abortion. I haven't ever had to do that before...I'm really afraid of all the processes of it..sounds horrible..but can I have another baby alone?? I don't know what to do I'm legally continually crying

As mothers, abortion is very hard. Just cause we have had a baby growing inside us before. Abortion is scary, I wanna tell u to get all the facts first then really ask urself if u could really go thru with it. In sorry about ur ex I know how that feels aswell, but like someone told me before Its truly ur decision. Its not ur ex 's body he isn't carrying ur baby. You are. He might have a opinion on what he wants u to do but do what u think is best for u.

Your little angels will pray for you and surround you with love, for they know how difficult it was for you to give them up. Please know that you are NOT alone. And please KNOW that you are forgiven.

I got on this website so I wouldn't feel alone but I still do..I know there are alot of woman who stay quiet but For me I know staying quiet will do more harm than good.. but thanks so Very much for ur kinds words!