My Story

Life is pretty wierd, in the way it changes. Sometimes it changes for the good other times for the bad. It's never certain and its never fair. Ive always looked at life like this-we learn from our mistakes and gain from our expieriences. We always take a piece of who we met or what we encountered with us and that piece stays with us forever-sometimes it makes us weaker sometimes stronger but either way we are never who we were before we had that piece. I truly believe life works this way. When i was 18 ,i found out i was pregant .I chose to conceal my pregancy from my mother ,my father and those who loved me and wanted to be there for me but couldn't. I had support from two people-my boyfriend and bestfriend. At the time i didnt think to much, i worried very little. At times i was naive and selfish. Most importantly i was fearful-fearful of what was and what wasn't. Til this day i don't know if i my decision ultimately came from fear, and i fight myself with that question everyday. I had an abortion at sixeteen weeks pregant. It was the hardest thing i ever did in my entire life. I chose to take those sixteen weeks and burry them somewhere realy deep in my heart. My life went on, it went on a little different then it was before but it went on. Until i found out i was pregant again. It was One year later, this time i was 19. At this point in time my life was exactly the same as it was at 18. I chose to have an abortion again. I feel like i can never fully understand or expalin what went though my mind through the preganacies and the abortions or even through the time in between. One thing is certain, i will always have pieces of these experiences with me forever, as long as i breath. They will always be a part of me. I feel like everyday is a chance , a chance to better myself, a chance to learn, a chance to live and be happy and most importantly a chance to forgive myself. Sometimes i loose sleep just thinking how i had so much courage and strenght to physically and emotionally go through the entire experience. I applaud and greatly admire woman who have ever gone through the same or similar experience. I wrote this to share my story with the world.I have to admit that for a very long time i was afraid of telling anyone about this, but not today. Today ive gained the strenght and courage to tell my story. I will never be able to understand why i had to endure so much pain but even on my weakest moments day by day i get alittle stronger. Im not the person i was before i had both abortions, i never will be and im ok with that. Life is pretty wierd, in the way it changes us.....
foreverjune1 foreverjune1
18-21, F
Dec 2, 2012