3 Days

i was only 16 when i got pergnant with my boyfriend at the time. he was abusive mentaly and the last day we had sex he had beat me not extemely bad but that was because i gave in to what ever he wanted so he wouldn't really hurt me. That last day got me pergnant and i din't relize it untill about month and half later. i never kept tract of my periods and i never had a regular period anyways. i figured it out it took me about a week in a half to tell my mother "hey mom i think i might be pergnant". She didn't take in the way i thought she would she looked at me and said ill call the doctor and well im glad you told me before it was to late. it was June 13 when i told we went to the doctors the next day. i was hopeing i was just really sick but no i was wrong i was pergnant and 7 in half weeks. my memmory could tell you for detail about that day and the next 3 days to come, and honestly i don't have that good of a memmory. My mom had segualed anapointment for the next day for well a check in and see what to do. They said if i want a high chance to get pergnant later in life we have to do it this week my finals for highschool where the same week, i agreed hurt and rushed, i was abuse mentaly for while and i finaly broke it off with my ex i though my pain was over. I was wrong June 17 right after my english regents(NY testing for highschoolers) and my pain was only beging. He abused me mentaly for six months and now what has happened is going to huant me to this day. I still have nightmears and my heart is always unsteatlied and it isn't until now i can share this with who ever i dn't know if this is me starting my healing proccess but i finaly found someone who i will fight to be with. When my nightmears get rought and i twich like maybe a good 2 ft in the air he will hug me untill i stop, when all i think is when can i have my frist child he reinsures me that it will happen and no matter what he'll be with me every step of the way. i starting to find hope i still scared of hearing oxygen mask of any kind the sound makes me cry and break down. i still have problems im sorting out and im finaly seeing a consular. Maybe my fears of never be able to have childern will disappear but, for others out there seek help if you can tlk to anyone you trust and those who truly love you wont judge and i wish i got help along time ago, it only took me two in a half years and i still cry and have fits but i found someone who will fight for me and love me and im willing to let go just to have him by my side and for me thats the hardest thing i've ever done, i even quit cigs. so yhea i had 3 days to decide and no help afterwards, don't be like that let your slef think and recive help, if you can't revice both becuase there is a time limit do at least one ur heart will ack less in the long run. Good luck to all those out there who have made this hard choice it is never easy
3days 3days
18-21
Dec 5, 2012