The Pain...

I first found out i was pregnant when i missed my period for august, since that i've been very worried cause i'm still young and i'm not ready for a baby now. I told my boyfriend about it and each time he will just tell me that i will be fine and asked me not to be worried. Until recently only he started to panicking, initially he wanted to keep the baby and asked me to marry him. But deep down in my heart i know he is not yet matured enough to take care of me and my baby . I rejected him and told him i wanted an abortion ( which is illegal in our country ). We searched the internet and found out about the pill misoprostol , bought from online person and got the pills . Then we found out about the website which is very helpful and informative. We went for an ultrasound for the first time and i tear for the first time seeing my own baby on the screen. He was a boy, an active one 16 weeks old, the doctor even smile seeing my boy with such active movements. At that moment, i couldn't think about how selfish i am for the decision i have made up.
I cried almost everynight after the ultrasound, until yesterday morning, around 9am, i asked my bf to help me with the medicines ( by using women org instructions ) . We did as the intructions were given, the first dose given me stomach ache and pain at lower abdomen. But i took painkiller napoxen for relief. we continue doing the 2nd, 3rd, 4th dose every 3 hours interval, still nothing happened, except for abdomen cramps and pain . We never give up till the 5th dose, and that time was already 9.30pm and he had to send me home . I felt very frustrated why couldn't the medicines works. I was feeling normal again until I felt an extremely pain at my uterus at 2.30am midnight and i couldn't sleep the whole night. At 4.30 am i started to cry cause the pain is killing me. I called my bf to deliver me the pain killer but he said no. he don't knw the pain i'm having is so extreme. When i check my pad, i saw a light red spot on my pad but no bleeding. and at 5 am, my water broke, I knew it was the time i should deliver the baby cause i saw in movies and shows before. I wash away using hot water the water and waited, the pain is extremely excruciating by that time. And i had to sit on the toilet bowl as i couldn't bear the pain. I sit there for nearly half an hour and suddenly i felt like throwing up , at that moment, my son came out .. I cried. I reached for him and he was so heavy and he looked exactly like a baby , he wasn't as tiny as an avocado, he is so much bigger. I killed my first baby and first son...
I don't know what should i do next as my umbilical cord is attached with his...I used a sciccors to cut it and wrapped my baby. I called my bf and he came and took away our son. He never tell me what he did with our son because he wanted me to move on..
Right now, i can see the remaining umbilical cord is still attached to me, I tried to pull it out but it hurts. I'm still bleeding also. And i don't even know whether my placenta has come out or not. I know they said if the placenta hasn't come off, it will cost an infection. Can anyone advise me on this??
mybabyboy mybabyboy
1 Response Dec 6, 2012

Go to HOSPITAL!!!! you need to pass the afterbirth or you will get a very bad infection. GO!