Somebody Help Me.. I Need Some Guidance..

First off, I am a young adult (25 y.o.), unemployed, and I have quite a conservative family. I have tried a lot of times to come to a decision about my problem that I really think should be resolved at the soonest possible time. The issue is I am pregnant and am currently thinking of having an abortion. :(

There are a lots of things to consider and I know it is unfair for the embryo ( 3-4 weeks approximately) for me to think of such act. It's just that I grew up being a 'goody two-shoes' person, always doing what's right, being an example to my younger relatives, always being trusted with responsibilities, doing great with my studies -- making me feel that I need to abort the baby to live up to these 'expectations'. I know that this makes me an evil person and I have been going back-and-forth between saying yes or no to the pregnancy.

Here are the pros of my situation: having a new addition to our family since a parent of mine died less than a year ago, I will be able to stay here in my hometown since I am supposed to leave the country for an opportunity abroad, I am on the right age for starting a family, my boyfriend is totally up for having the baby, and of course having a baby would be a great gift to me.

Now for the cons: people will be disappointed of me, my family may reprimand me for being stupid, the opportunity abroad would have to be cancelled, I would have to deal with the consequences of my actions, expectations may change, negative reactions may be received, and I am not sure if me and my boyfriend can afford to have the baby as his salary, I think, will not be enough for him to support me and his family both at the same time.

Additional worries if I do proceed with the abortion includes future conception problems, emotional turmoil, and living with regrets for the rest of my life.

I am just sharing my story just to know if someone may be able to shed some light into the situation and help me realize as to what is best for the same. I want to hear some feedback from a stranger's point of view as I would not like to be judged by those who know me beforehand. Help me please. It feels like I'm dying here. :(
pitycrown pitycrown
22-25, F
5 Responses Dec 7, 2012

Oh, I forgot to add, I had a baby when I was 16. I will never, ever regret it. When there is a will, there is a way.

Have your beautiful baby, you will never know what love is until the baby is in your arms. You will not care in the least of these other worries. Promise.

At the end of the day, you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and accept yourself. I am very pro-choice, but I am also pro-happiness and women doing what is best for them. You only have one life and it is always what you make of it. Best of wishes to you and your future.

Despite all their talk about "choice," those at abortion clinics who counsel women on their options often act as if abortion is a woman's only realistic alternative. This simply isn't so.

Throughout the United States, there are nearly 3,000 Crisis Pregnancy Centers staffed by volunteers ready to provide real help to women facing unplanned or untimely pregnancies. [112] In addition to providing pregnancy tests and counseling, these centers often offer a full range of services, helping women obtain housing, maternity and baby clothes, baby equipment, pre- and post-natal medical care, legal assistance and financial support, information about adoption, and even advice on how a woman in school can continue her education. [113] Offering real and tangible assistance, these centers have helped thousands of women to realize that they didn't have to choose between their own lives and the lives of their unborn babies.

Unlike their counterparts at the local abortion clinic, the volunteer counselors at your Crisis Pregnancy Center do not have a vested financial interest in the ultimate decision you make. Their concern and commitment are genuine, so you can count on them to stick by you through the tense and sometimes difficult months ahead.

If you picked up this pamphlet at your local Crisis Pregnancy Center, you already have some idea of the quality of people who work there. But if not, you can look in the Yellow Pages under the heading "Abortion Alternatives," or call, toll-free, 1 (800) 848-LOVE, any time, day or night, to find the nearest Crisis Pregnancy Center in your area. You'll find someone who genuinely cares about what happens to you and your unborn baby.

You will hear so many things from so many sources. The most important thing in this trying circumstance is to listen to yourself. Talk to your partner and make the decision that feels right to you. You are the one who ultimately has to deal with your choice; not your family, not society, and not any higher power. This is a life-changing event either way you choose. Whatever decision you make, life will follow. Consider these two alternate lives very carefully. I know that you're seeking an answer. Life would be so much easier if there was a 'right' or 'wrong' answer in this case. Unfortunately, life is often somewhere in the middle.

The people who care most for you will support you and learn to live with your decision no matter which you choose. It's important for you to listen to your heart and lean on your strongest relationships. We all make mistakes, including those who try to live up to being the "perfect" role model in our families (I speak from experience on that one!). Your family may be disappointed in the choice you make but the person that you have to report to most is the one that you have to look at in the mirror every day. Try to make the decision that feels the most true to who you are.

My thoughts are with you.