Lost And Confused, Unable To Decide.


I am a fairly spiritual, fully capable 23 year old. I'm a nanny so naturally I'm great with kids. I found out I was pregnant 8 days ago, after having just broke up with my bf of 5 and a half years. our relationship has been anything but healthy. My family despises him (they are very good people). He is extremely jealous, very narcissistic and borderline psychopathic. I believe in some ways we are emotionally abusive to each other. That being said I love him and always have...I probably always will.

When I first found out there was no doubt in my mind that I would keep it. I was nervous to tell my family as I have just been offered a position in England and everyone is extremely excited for me to go; mostly to get away from him. To my surprise he was beyond happy to hear the news and he wants to keep the baby. He told me I will be a murderer if I go through with killing his child. He reminded me since he has known me I've been against abortion. However; it is hard to form an actual opinion about something until you are faced with it. If I have the child I know I would never be free of him. We would live together at first which I know would turn into numerous arguments (we have had the police called on us because of this.) I know I am making myself sound trashy but I can assure you I come from a great family. I've never been so lost in my life. If I have the abortion I have to live with the pain and regret but if I don't, I have a life time of emotional abuse. Not to mention his father (who left when he was a baby) had severe psychological problems that I know he inherited and I'm worried the baby would as well. My parents said if I intend on having my x-bf in my life then I would have to move out as they can no longer deal with his crazyness and the constant drama.

Any insight for me?

torsxox torsxox
4 Responses Jan 5, 2013

Despite all their talk about "choice," those at abortion clinics who counsel women on their options often act as if abortion is a woman's only realistic alternative. This simply isn't so.

Throughout the United States, there are nearly 3,000 Crisis Pregnancy Centers staffed by volunteers ready to provide real help to women facing unplanned or untimely pregnancies. [112] In addition to providing pregnancy tests and counseling, these centers often offer a full range of services, helping women obtain housing, maternity and baby clothes, baby equipment, pre- and post-natal medical care, legal assistance and financial support, information about adoption, and even advice on how a woman in school can continue her education. [113] Offering real and tangible assistance, these centers have helped thousands of women to realize that they didn't have to choose between their own lives and the lives of their unborn babies.

Unlike their counterparts at the local abortion clinic, the volunteer counselors at your Crisis Pregnancy Center do not have a vested financial interest in the ultimate decision you make. Their concern and commitment are genuine, so you can count on them to stick by you through the tense and sometimes difficult months ahead.

If you picked up this pamphlet at your local Crisis Pregnancy Center, you already have some idea of the quality of people who work there. But if not, you can look in the Yellow Pages under the heading "Abortion Alternatives," or call, toll-free, 1 (800) 848-LOVE, any time, day or night, to find the nearest Crisis Pregnancy Center in your area. You'll find someone who genuinely cares about what happens to you and your unborn baby.

I understand where you are coming from I'm also pregnant by a man I don't want to be.
I don't really know what the answer is, either way will be tough and painful. I suppose you just need to really think through either option and how you would cope with each one.
Whatever you choose I am sure you will cope and do the best you can.

I think whatever choice you make, is the best choice for you. I would personally suggest aborting. This is not a good situation and the stress you sound like your under, could be harmful to a fetus anyways. You should feel guilty about abortion. But it is a good sign, it is a sign of remorse and it is normal. Abortion is safe and legal, and if your even considering it is probably the best option. Good luck in whichever you choose! :)

:( Not a fun choice.<br />
My call is you'd be better off terminating the pregnancy and getting a restraining order AT THE SAME TIME.<br />
You're going to feel guilty about aborting it. You'll feel guilty if you keep it as a single parent, AND have that psycho to deal with<br />
<br />
BTW I would not let him around the child if you have it.