Don't Be Scared...

So I had an abortion almost two years ago. I'm not going to lie and say it's okay, because it's a very hard decision that stays with you for life - whether you keep it or abort it. I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant, I was far too scared to tell anyone so I went with my best friend and hid it from my parents. Day 1 I went to the clinic, i had to fill out medical details and then have a consultation with the nurse. You have a scan to see how far gone you are, I would reccomend not looking at the scan, I did this and sometimes have little flashbacks so it's best not to! I was only 5 weeks gone so could have the EMA early medical abortion. Now unlike all the other girls in the waiting room, I didn't have my mom there next to me. I was sat alone as they wouldn't allow people under 18 up with me and I was scared and very very sad. I sat outside in the hall just crying non stop. The nurses were very supportive to me. I then had a blood test and went in and took the first pill. That was it for day 1 and I went home with no effects. Day 2 and I had to go up for the other pills that were inserted into my vagina. I then departed from the clinic. The pain was fairly bad, the conractions were painful,but pain killers gave some relief. I reccomend highly getting home as soon as possible and lying in bed to relieve the pain. For days I lay in bed, wondering how I would go on with my life. How could I have been so selfish? I cried for about a month until it got too much so I told my sister. She was very supportive and encouraged me to tell my mom as she had also had one in her life. Something I had no idea about! I couldn't tell my mom so i asked my sister to tell her. My mom came into my room gave me a cuddle and a kiss and lay with me, telling me i was silly for keeping it to myself as I just made myself feel more lonely. Believe me when I tell you it gets easier with time, I think I had some form of depression for about 12 months, but I pulled myself through it. I had the abortion because I had dreams and ambitions so to ensure my abortion was not a mistake I put my energy into achieving my dreams! I am now at university, enjoying life! Yes it is something that I will always live with, but it was the right decision to make. Only tell people you fully trust and if you don't have any of them maybe a teacher/colleague/consellour? Don't suffer with it alone, it's nice to have someone to talk to. You'll be surprised at how many people around you have actually gone through the same things. Keep positive, do what's right and believe me time plus positive thinking can heal most anything.
movingontobetterthings movingontobetterthings
18-21
1 Response Jan 9, 2013

Thankyou, I'm ok now. I have had many things knock me down, but of course you get back up. It was of course my stupid mistake for getting pregnant. But everyone is human and everyone makes mistake. Without them we cannot learn. I don't want this story here for pity, more to be as a comfort for girls going through this. It's not easy to have an abortion, but neither is it to bring a kid into the world when you are so young x