So Hard Carrying On Every Day.......

hello i'm here because i have no one to tell this stuff to. I had a medical abortion 4 weeks ago its not someting i ever thought i would go through; i have 5 kids already and hubby and i struggle. he already has 2 jobs. 2 of my children are also asd sufferers so my plate is very full.
I fell pregnant when a condom ripped and the morning after pill did not work there wasn't really a lot of choice and i thought because it was so early (i was 7 weeks when it happenned) i would be okay. it was a traumatic experience nobody tells you you will see the baby and i did it alone.
I felt relieved for about a week but guilt is overwhelming me now i feel so sad and angry and have been having some extremley dark thoughts. every night i am having graphic nightmares about it or dreaming i am still pregnant . i wake up every morning and of course my baby is gone because i choose to kill it.
I seem to feel worse each day not better and am not coping i am very ashamed and embarassed and feel i am coming to a breaking point.....
cupcakemi cupcakemi
31-35
Jan 11, 2013