My Story.very Long...sorry.

I have decided to tell my story as I found great comfort reading other peoples while deciding to have an abortion.

I'm 30 married with three children aged 12,10 and 7. I found out I was pregnant on New Years Day, I know when I conceived a condom split and I took the MAP which didn't work, with my youngest I conceived while I had a coil fitted, I must be extremely fertile.

Before I found myself in this situation I would say I was quite anti abortion not to the extent I would judge anyone decided to have one, I just didn't like the idea.

Anyway I find myself pregnant, very much unplanned, I spoke to my Husband and we agreed it was best to look into abortion, mainly because our youngest is 7 we didn't want to go back to having a baby, we would have to buy a bigger car, and my Husband works away, I work full time and the older children are obviously at school, during the week I have to have the children out the house for 7am to make school and work, I just couldn't see how I would manage being heavily pregnant and then having a new born and keeping up with everything else, I'm also self employed which added more difficultly to the situation.

I went to the local family planning clinic and ask to be referred for an abortion, the nurse was really very nice and said she totally understood my choice and not to worry about anyone judging me, she got me an appointment at the local hospital for 4 days later, she told me as I was sure I was very early on I would probably have a medical abortion which would involve taking tablets to cause a miscarriage.

During these four days I started to have second thoughts on whither I could go through with it, I started to think I could manage with another child, I even started thinking about names and looked at baby clothes, I can only think it was my hormones as I really did not want another baby at all.

So the day came to attend the hospital, I decided that morning I wasn't going to go ahead on that day, I still wasn't 100% on what I wanted, but I wanted to keep my appointment and talk over my options with a doctor, I had a scan, the nurse had the screen turned away from me which I was happy about, she told me I was five and a half weeks pregnant and there was no heartbeat yet, this made me feel better, I spoke to the doctor who again was lovely she said I shouldn't do anything I wasn't sure about and to come back next week when I had more time to think.

Anyway next morning the kids where all back at school after christmas, so I had a chance to sample my daily routine feeling extremely sick, needless to say it was a hard hard day, the sickness stayed all day, that night I sat and thought about everything and knew I had to go ahead and have an abortion.

I didn't want to wait until Mon, when I would be six and a half weeks, I wanted it done asap, thankfully the hospital managed to fit me in again two days later. I went to the appointment and spoke to a different doctor, she was slightly worried about me changing my mind again and spoke to me about my reasons again, she was very nice and signed my form, the nurse then gave me the first tablet and told me to come back in the morning. I was terrified about taking the next lot of tablets, anyone who has read the horror stories online would be, I thought I was going to pour of blood and be in agony for hours on end. In the end it couldn't have been more different.

So I go back to the hospital insert the four tablets by myself and go home expecting this crippling pain to hit me at any point, but the pain just didn't come, I had very very slight cramping within about an hour, I'd rate these as maybe 1/10 I had taken paracetamol and the painkiller the hospital gave me so I assume they helped but after reading all these stories I was expecting labor like pains, I believe most of these "stories" are made up by prolifers to scare woman out of having an abortion, about half an hour after the cramps started I started to bleed reasonably heavily (again nothing like the horror stories, just like a heavy period) I decided to go and just sit on the toilet as I felt this would be easier if I was the pass the pregnancy sac, 5 mins later I felt something slip out of me, I didn't want to look, I started shaking uncontrollably so just sat there for a min, I cleaned myself up and flushed the toilet, unfortunately the sac had no flushed away so I ended up seeing it for a second before I quickly flushed again, I wish I hadn't seen it but being so early nothing could be made out, just a whitish blob really.

All that was yesterday and I'm still bleeding just like a normal period, I have no even mild cramps, mentally I'm not sure how I feel, quite relieved I no longer feel sick and tired, but I have done something I thought I would never do and I'll have to live with this the rest of my life, I feel guilty but I think I made the right choice for myself and my family.

I wanted to write all this down to reassure others that most early medical abortions are very straight forward, most people are not doubled up in pain for hours. I've had worse colds than the actual physical experience, the hardest part of abortion is making he choice and living with it.
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 12, 2013

Thanks for sharing this, i just found out this morning I am pregnant! I thought it was impossible for to ever get pregnant , boy did my life change this morning. My husband and I are so not ready for children, we just bought a house and were hoping to wait a few more years till we are settled in. We have both made this decision together and I have an appointment Monday morning. I am so scared. I had been leaning more towards the abortion pill but I am terrified of seeing the sac. So now i'm debating on the surgical abortion. Did seeing the sac leave a memory in your head? thanks for being here sharing your story, we just moved to this new town, hours away from where we are from so i have zero friends to help me out here to talk to :(

Was just going to let you know that the surgical abortion is not bad at all. Expecially the earlier you are. I chose that one, because I was to far gone. I most likely would have done it anyway. Good luck.

Thanks so much singlemommy1988

i too had to make that dreadful decision, on medical grounds but it doesn't ease the pain one bit. I've 3 kids and divorced and it wouldn't have been an ideal situation to bring a baby into as the dad had no interested. regardless, i would have survived im sure but no one knows what the right decision for anyone to make will be. i was always prochoice but believed in my heart id never have an abortion no matter what happened. what did i know?? i guess its easy to judge other people and believe what they do is wrong but until your faced with that decision you have no idea, im case in point here!!