That Crisp Fall Day

Yes, I had an abortion. We are even at the right age and love each other very much too. But i need to finish my education, and we don't live in the same city right now (military). I want nothing more than to hold my own child, watch him play ball with his son, or help her paint her nails.

I cried for so many days. Every single night. I wrote to my baby and pretended that it was a boy and that one day I would meet him. I was so sorry for not letting him live his full life.

I am a scientist and I use and study embryos almost every day. But I feel having that specific knowledge killed me more each day, knowing exactly what developmental stage he was at and what he would be used for in some lab. This was so devastating.

On the one year mark a couple months ago, my fiancée and I took a bouquet of flowers and spread it into the air. I guess it was somewhat releasing for me, but nothing will ever let me forget that fall day. I can't wait until I meet my baby, or until we have one of our own. That will be the best day of my life.
SummerLove87 SummerLove87
22-25, F
Jan 12, 2013