My Abortion Story

My Abortion – Very Long, but I wanted to make sure I included all the details I could remember.

October 23rd 2012, I met this guy who worked at a local grocery store. Instead of revealing his name I will name him JC, well we exchanged phone numbers and texted constantly for the next few days. I’m not the person to just sleep around, but this was the first guy that I quickly jumped into things. He stayed the night on October 28th 2012, and we became intimate that night, completely unplanned because I was nearing the end of my period and didn’t expect anything to happen. We didn’t use a condom and I don’t have a reason why we didn’t, but I wasn’t on birth control either. I hadn’t had time to drive 50 miles to my local Planned Parenthood to retrieve it, since I live in a tiny town and the snow was preventing a canyon ride. We talked until November 13th and that was the last day we talked (until December). He completely cut me off and avoided me completely even when I went into the store it was as if I didn’t exist. On November 22nd I was due to have my period, yet it didn’t come and I didn’t worry, it wasn’t until a week later that I started worrying, I told my mother on November 30th and bought two pregnancy tests that both came out positive.

I wasn’t sure what to think, but only being 19 and already a mother of a 3 year old who would be 4 in the coming February, was only a part of my decision. I was having financial struggles and lost my apartment due to not making enough money; I work two jobs but wasn’t receiving the hours I needed, since winters where I live are very slow. On top of everything else, I didn’t have any insurance of any kind to help with the situation, and hadn’t seen a doctor in almost a year, other than receiving birth control from Planned Parenthood, in which I had been doing up tell the distance and snow became an issue. I also barely knew the 26 year old that impregnated me, who was now dating another girl. I thought hard of what I was going to do, and adoption was a thought but it was not a decision I could handle and support myself on. Also, keeping the unborn child was not an option, with all the problems I was having. I knew I had to take care of my daughter and myself. Then the thought of abortion approached and when I first thought of it, I was completely opposed. But days went by and things seemed unbearable to carry the unborn child. I also had the fear of if I went through with the pregnancy I would hemorrhage as I did with my daughter, nearly leading to a hysterectomy. I didn’t want to face these situations at this time in my life. I want more children eventually, but I knew then wasn’t the right place to be selfish.

On December 10th 2012, I was still differing what I was going to do, my mother and boss advised me that I needed to let JC know I was pregnant. I agreed, and texted him telling him I was pregnant, he said I wouldn’t like what he wanted me to do, and I asked what that was, and he said abortion. At that moment I told ok, thanks for your opinion and said goodbye. He quickly responded that if I went through with the pregnancy he wanted full custody and if I chose adoption he would rather raise it alone by himself if I didn’t want to be involved. He was very stubborn, and completely demanding, I barely knew him, and regret ever sleeping with him. By the end of that week I had decided that abortion was the right thing in my case. Nobody pressured me, nobody made me make the decision, and I made the decision myself. I looked into clinics and Planned Parenthood was the best and only suitable one that helped with money circumstances and distance of driving. I had to attend a class on a Monday only 50 miles away at the clinic to sign a 72 hour consent form. I had planned the consent appointment for December 17th 2012, I texted JC and told him he needed to help me with half of the payment, he said he didn’t have the money and refused to help since this wasn’t what he wanted me to do. I told him if things were different and maybe if we were together, and he wasn’t with someone else, maybe then would the circumstance would be different. But he completely treated me horribly, from that moment on he stopped talking to me, and we haven’t talked since. December 17th approached and the snow storms hit my location and the canyon and on that day the driving conditions were unbearable, so I had to postpone by no other choice. I wanted this to be done before Christmas and that didn’t happen. The Clinic was also closed on December 24th 2012 and December 31st 2012.

Time was itching away and I was a week further along each time, on January 4th 2013, my mother and I drove the 50 miles to the consent appointment, where I informed them I was around 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant at the time, I also provided my last menstrual cycle. They told me because I was too far along for the abortion pill, which I already knew, that I would have to have the Surgical Abortion, which was the Suction Aspiration. I went through the entire consent and signed the papers with no worries, just ready to get this past me. I went home with a scheduled appointment at 12:30 that Friday on January 11th 2013, over 80 miles from where I lived at The Planned Parenthood Metro Clinic for the Surgical Abortion. In those days that approached I had no doubts about my decision to have an abortion. I read through tons of internet sites that all had different approaches and information, that included pictures and horrific stories, but I didn’t budge. My mind set was completely open the day I woke up to drive the distance with my mother, the ride there was long, and my mother asked repeatedly if this is what I really wanted to do, and I reassured her I was doing the right thing. I wasn’t scared or nervous, but feared mostly of the pain and if I had a chance of hemorrhaging, because I have a low pain tolerance and bad history. I ate a light meal that morning and took a nausea pill I had prescribed to me to ease myself.

It was Friday January 11th, 2013, when we came to the Planned Parenthood Metro Clinic, where we pulled in and parked. We went into the Clinic and I walked up to the counter bringing the papers I needed and ID, the lady was very nice and took my payment at this time, she then told me to wait and someone would be with me shortly. I sat down next to mother, quite as the room had over 10 other people in it. Then an older lady from the door called my name and I stood up following her to a room, where I was told they needed to do an ultrasound to see exactly how far I was. I got on the table as anybody would for an ultrasound and the lady asked if I wanted to know if it was just one baby, twins, or any more than that. I said sure and she said it was just one and took some images, she asked if I wanted to see the monitor and I said no. She then I was ranging from 10 weeks 5 days to 11 weeks 2 days, which seemed pretty accurate to me. After the ultrasound was done I got back up and went in sat in another room, where another lady came in. This lady went over how things would be done, and had be begin signing papers and asking me which type of birth control I would want to be using after. I let her know and she said they could provide me with the birth control on that day. After signing the papers, she said they needed to do a finger ***** to see what my blood type was and get a urine sample to test for STD’s since it is required in the state laws and day of the procedure. I already knew I was A- and would need a RhoGam shot, that happened and as I suspected I was right, I also left the urine sample as I knew I was already clean, and wasn’t worried. I then went back in the room I had been in for signing the papers, and the lady came in with a number of pills, one Lortab, four Ibuprophen, one of fourteen antibiotics I would have to continue taking for the next week, and one Anti-Anxiety pill. I didn’t get an IV or anything stronger than that, I was then told I had to wait for about 20 minutes for the pills to kick in and went and sat back in the waiting room.

I was called back again by the older lady who I had seem a bit earlier, led me to the procedure room. She walked me in, the room wasn’t scary or anything and looked like any doctors’ exam room would. The older lady whose name was RA, told me to undress from the waist down and sit on the table and her and the doctor would be in the room in a few minutes. She left and I undressed sitting down placing the cover over me, as I sat waiting for them to come in, it seemed like the time just wouldn’t pass and it felt like I was waiting a long time. The room had an ultrasound monitor and the vacuum machine which was covered on the top, the machine also held two large jars and cords, there were also some chairs and other doctor equipment they would be using that was currently all covered. Then there was a knock on the door and the doctor and RA came in the room. The doctor introduced herself and asked me about my history of hemorrhaging and a lot of questions. She said she would watch for bleeding out of the normal, and told me what was going to happen. They then had me lie down and put my legs up in these thigh stirrups that are more comfortable than the ones you have a pap smear for. She first did an ultrasound to look for herself, and as she was doing it she asked if I would like to see, this time I said yes, and she moved the screen where I could see it. I don’t regret looking but it didn’t make me think any different either. After the ultrasound was done she had me get comfortable, and she began opening me with tools and began using the dilators, while this was happening RA was letting me know everything that was going on. The dilators were painful, and then she began numbing my cervix and adjusting the dilators, which was very uncomfortable. At this point RA said they were going to begin the suction, and RA told me everything was going to be ok, and that now the doctor was going to begin the removal. The sound came on, not loud, but not quite either, and started. I felt uncomfortable and my mind started racing, RA then began to start talking to me, which I realized after was to distract me. We had a conversation that the doctor also had a few things to say. There were points that the doctor was moving things around so much it did hurt, and I had barely any cramps just vaginal pains. There were a few times the vacuum went quieter and the doctor would move things around like thrusting my uterus from side to side, and it would get louder, as the pain got stronger. At this point RA said I was doing great and it wouldn’t be much longer, she had me exhale and inhale and relax my shoulders, and kept having a conversation with me. The pain was bad like severe menstrual cramps, but I didn’t cry or scream or anything, because I knew I have had worse pains, like labor pains and the pains I had when I had appendicitis. Not even a minute later the last worse pain came and went as the doctor had removed and scraped the remainder of what was inside my uterus. She then turned the machine off and said I did great through the less than 10 minute procedure and said she was now going to wait a few minutes to look for abnormal bleeding, the worst pain was over, and it wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be.

At this time another doctor came in to check how I was doing and to see if there was any abnormal bleeding. The first doctor put pressure on top of my belly and uterus and said I was fine. The second doctor left after no problems arouse, and the first doctor then said she was now going to insert my birth control that I had chosen, this pain was nothing of worry, it didn’t hurt near as much than what I had previously endured. After this part was done, she removed the tools and said I could now relax and remove my legs from the stirrups. I was expecting to be severely hurting but I wasn’t, I was just experiencing very strong cramping now and moved both legs together and relaxed. The doctor then said she was all done, and repeated that I did a good job relaxing and staying calm, she then turned and removed the cover over the two large jars and grabbed the one that now had the remains in it, she said they were going to make sure they had all the parts and check to make sure everything was alright and left the room. RA was still in the room and said she would have to remain here while I relaxed and got dressed, in case I fainted or something happened. The first time I sat up I got extremely lightheaded and had to lie back down. A few minutes later I sat up again and told her I was alright to get dressed now and she made sure I got up ok. I got my clothes and wiped myself up with the wipes RA handed me, I then got dressed and was still hurting but relived that everything was done. She then led me to the recovery room where there were chairs and she had me have a seat. I sat down and placed the heating pad on my belly which helped a lot. I then had my blood pressure checked twice and was checked up on a few times to make sure I was doing alright. I actually felt better and was ready to leave when they told me I could. Another lady came up with a bag with papers and info on what I should and shouldn’t do after, and gave me a bottle of antibiotics, and asked how bad my pain was from a one to ten, I repeated back to her a two-three and said I doing good. She then had me follow her to a room where she gave me RhoGam shot and said I was good to go, and wished me the best of luck. I walked back into the waiting room where my mother had been waiting and was ready to leave.

I’m not a bad person or any better because I had an Abortion, I don’t regret my decision, because I knew what I did was the right thing to do at the time. – Gaganda Laranda
GagandaLaranda GagandaLaranda
18-21, F
14 Responses Jan 14, 2013

Anybody that spews their religious venom at people who support a woman's choice to have an abortion are the same people that don't think past their own selfish and twisted religious ideology they want to forcibly impose on other people in The Land Of The "Free".
They also refuse to fund sex education, condoms and still believe in some Victorian age "abstinence" bullshit.
I'm glad you made the choice that was right for you, as nobody would help you in your misery.
And be careful next time!!!

Add a response...

This story has helped me a lot. I am also 19 years old and the guy I have been talking to is 27. I recently had a baby by a guy I dated in highscool. My daughter is 5 months old. I just met the guy I am currently talking to 3 months ago. My first pregnancy was extremely hard because I almost made the decision to place my daughter up for adoption. I made the decision to raise her the day I was being discharged from the hospital. My parents were dissappointed but very supportive. I was crushed to see how much I had hurt their feelings as well as a lot of my family and church members. My parents are ministers so Im sure everyone was shocked to see the ministers daughter pregnant. This time, being pregnant a second time is extremely embarrassing, and shameful. I wouldnt dare tell my parents that I didnt learn from my mistakes the first time. I am a Christian and I always thought getting an abortion was something I would never do. I never thought it was a bad decision for others but I also never believed I would find myself in this position. Your story makes me feel a lot better about my own situation given the major similarities. While you first child is way older than mine you still know what its like to mom and find yourself in the same situation again...Thanks for sharing your story you really helped me a lot!!

I just want to tell you that reading your story is helping me through this tough time. I need to schedule a surgical abortion and I'm already 15 weeks and 2 days. I know I will be put to sleep for this and for that I'm thankful. But I am really scared of the procedure.

It sounds bad but I don't want this child at all. The only reason I haven't terminated the preg. earlier is because I don't have the money to do so. I also was living 3,000 Miles away with my 6yr old son and had no family or friends there. I signed up for insurance the minute I got here but it still hasn't gone through. I'm so scared and just want this over with.

Thank you, it is very informative and very useful. All the best

I'm glad that you made the decision yourself and didn't let anyone else guilt trip you. Your mother seems to be very supportive and understanding which is why you are lucky to have her. I think that abortion is sometimes justified for example medical reasons. Looking at the background information that you gave I can understand your decision. Although I said that abortion is justifiable I don't agree with serial abortion. I think you have taken this experience to heart and that you will be more cautious and careful in your next relationship. Abortions is still a very taboo subject but many women choose to get abortions.Thank you for being brave enough to put your story up! Best wishes to you and your family!

Youre right, no one can make a decision like this but you. Its your body and you do whatever you want with it. I wish the best for you and your family and thank you for sharing.

Thank you, and that's right no one can make a decision like this until it is them and they are faced with the facts of life and have to know what they are doing, as I did. Everybody does different things to their body; piercings, tattoos, Botox, implants, sex changes, and so many other things, and also abortion. It's just the person themselves that have to deal with their decisions.

I think that you made an excellent choice. However, you have another child who was also unplanned? I'm sorry if I missed something there, your post was very long. I think you should get an IUD, they are the closest to foolproof that there is. I'm sure you don't want to go through all this mess again. Good luck to you and congrats for making such a smart choice, even if the original choice was not the best, as I'm sure you know...

I did have my first child unplanned, but I also very much knew who the father was and was in a relationship for over half a year, before our daughter was conceived. This guy JC, as you know I barely knew at all, and based on the knowledge I knew, was not one for me to continue. I'm still young and still have so far to go, I've just taken some wrong paths but I'm making my way towards the best and I'm sure ill run in other directions, but this was and still is the best decision, I could have possibly made.

Also to add, because I did not not mention above, but I did get an IUD inserted the same day that this all took place, and I will not go through this again, I learned the first time and there is absolutely no reason I need to change that. Regardless of who it is, time is virtue, and virtue leads to everything else. When years pass and I'm in an appropriate decision, that will be another time for more to make other decisions, that I am yet to face.

Thank God,you made it,i won't criticize you,because that is the only option you have.I admire your boldness in all the pains you endure,don't mind the silly guy that made you pass through the awkward task,thanks for sharing your experience,because that will caution us,in falling for a crook guy like JC.THANKS AGAIN.

Well your very extremely welcome, my decision to do what I did, was best, and even a bigger better decision to share it, only because most people in my life that I know, do not know what I've endured, except a very selected few. And trust me, I will not be falling for another crook like this, and I will get to know someone before I make quick decisions and jump into bed.

What's done is done. If you truly feel at ease with yourself, then good for you. I can't imagine the stress, though you made it seem like a walk in the park haha. I hope things get better for you, and ignore the people who disagree with you. They wouldn't know unless they were in your shoes.

Good luck and hopefully you don't get pregnant again in the near future.

I do feel at ease with my decision, and could not have imagined any other outcome. It didn't necessarily seem like a walk in the walk, I had my struggles making the decision I made, and the stress was something I knew wasn't something to worry about. If I went through with the pregnancy there would have been a ton of stress. If I were not in my shoes I would not know the wrongs and rights of what I did, but what I did was right for me. And believe me, birth control is 100% effective, and will be, also I am planning to wait to have sex again. I do really need to get to know someone before making any more unrational decisions and I will just take things slow, very slow.

Thank you very much for sharing your story. I think you are very brave, and it sounds like this was the right decision for you. I do not understand why people feel the need to make ****** comments about things they obviously know nothing about. Who are they to judge? I have never had an abortion, but I have never judged anyone for having one either. I do not walk in their shoes, so who am I to say that they are making the "wrong" decision? You are the only one who knows what is truly right for you. I support anyone who has to make this choice. People who sit here and **** and moan that abortion is "wrong", really **** me off. They have no idea what that person is going through or why they are having to make their choice. It has nothing to do with religion, or what type of person you may be. You are a strong person, and I thank you for your story. Keep your head up my friend. Take care.

Your welcome, I am with you when you say, who are they to judge, before this happened. My opinions were open and I never thought I'd have one myself, but I am lucky and I am here, and I did make the right decision. There was no wrong in my doing except sleeping with the person I did and at the wrong time, but I am the one who will have to learn from it. Also, my head is up, and I have yet to look down.

Thanks for being open. But there is no justifiable reason to commit abortion. But u gat a new start, be carful, cos God values life. Thanks, Bless you.

Well thank you, and you are right, that there is no justifiable reason to commit abortion. Yet unless you are the person themselves and dealing with the many life circumstances that that person is. It is something that strikes each one of individually. Some take it the hardest, others look past it, and others regret it. Everyone makes there decision, whether they learn from it or not is something different. Because I can say I did learn from it and by no way, did I make a wrong choice, or a justifiable reason to do so. But what I did was for my reasons and I do not regret it.

Unless you have been in the situation of being pregnant, scared and being with someone who is unsupportive (and abusive), you have no
right to judge others. Add into this being totally responsible financially
and emotionally for two children and a husband (who is like a third child). I would not wish this decision on anyone! We as adults/parents
have to make decisions that are right for our families. Please do not
make judgements of others as you don't have to walk in their shoes!
Would you want someone to judge a decision that you made for your
family?

Thanks for this. I also had the same procedure and don't regret it. It wasn't the right time. I have 17 month old now and I love her more than anything in this world. You are not a bad person. I'm glad you know that! I feel the same about mine. I do not wear it as a badge of honor but I am not ashamed of my decision.

Well thank you for reading it, I don't feel like any kind of person. I feel as if its just now another day gone bye. That I had the idiotic idea of not thinking to protect myself, resulting in the consequence, that I had to grow upon and make a decision. Also your quote is amazing, "I do not wear it as a badge of honor but I am not ashamed of my decision" absolutely brilliant.

Aw thanks. It's true. Like you said--Just a day gone by.

Thanks for sharing with us. I feel the same way, I'm no better and no worse because of what I did. Just someone who had to make a decision.

I dont want rude or insincere comments. I'm just here to tell my story, for others to read, not to be judged or scrutinized upon.

I have gotten a few very disrespectful messages from other people in this group critizing me for already being a mother and making this decision. Just so everyone knows I am trying to be the best mother I can be and having another baby would make me less capable of trying to better myself.

That shouldn't matter, whether you have children or not. I have two kids myself but had an abortion. It happens. If someone says something, block em. Delete the comments. This is supposed to be a place we can share our experiences with those that have gone through it as well...

I did block and delete, people just don't understand. Yes it's hard, but their is always choices are going to have to make either we like them or not. I should be able to be happy, than sit in pain and sorrow.

Gaganda, I have known MANY who were so condescending and unforgiving in their disapproval. UNTIL, it happened to them (or their girlfriend or daughter). Guess what happened then? Right, they came up with a reason why THEY were a special exception, and got an abortion. Judgement without experience? Yeah, they're CHILDREN themselves. Don't worry about it, hon, you used excellent judgement.

I thought very hard and long about what I was planning, and it took a month to come to the best terms and final decision, I thought about the pros and cons. Where I could be in a week, where I could be in a month, a year, 5 years, and 10. Everything I tried processing in my mind openly left me with my feelings, I also read many stories on all parts: keeping the child, abortion and especially adoption, although it does look different in people's eyes. It looked completely skewed in my mine if I made any other decision. I used the best judgement I could when I came to terms of what I devices, and different for everyone, abortion was the only good to come of me, if not I would have lost myself, but I'm here and very much alive.

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